Cat's out the bag!

MBano · March 2014

So last night, as some of you know, the boys overheard bf and I talking about my pregnancy. Today I had the bright idea of telling my dad. I knew it wouldn't go well with him, but I had a slight glimmer of hope. Oh how I was wrong to do so. Since I told my dad, (my parents are divorced) I have to tell my mom. I did the cowardly thing and texted her. Only bc I knew what her response is going to be. My dad's response? "The baby is a bastard and you need to abort it, otherwise you are dead to me." My mothers is currently pending, I will update you soon. I called bf and told him what happened with my dad and he was actually nice and tried to comfort me as I was sobbing.

This next statement may offend some of you: I absolutely loathe the Muslim religion and their opinions. We do not live in the 1950's anymore, there are MANY people out there who have children out of wedlock. To call my baby a bastard just because in your society it is frowned upon, is horrible. Especially bc I am your ONLY daughter and out of your 2 children, the only one who speaks to you!

JD83 · March 2014

If I were you, I'd change that to neither of his children speak to him. Sorry, dude, but your dad's a dick. Hope you have better luck with your mom. And if not, you still have your BF and a whole community here who has your back, even if we might come off as terse or mean sometimes. Best of luck to you!

MBano · March 2014

@jd83 - I'd love to agree w you, but i can't. My dad is actually a sweetheart. It's his stupid beliefs in the Muslim religion and the Pakistani tradition. Bc I am not married, having a child out of wedlock is frowned upon. I just hate it. WE LIVE IN AMERICA!

bumpuser10199668 · March 2014

MBano said:
@jd83 - I'd love to agree w you, but i can't. My dad is actually a sweetheart. It's his stupid beliefs in the Muslim religion and the Pakistani tradition. Bc I am not married, having a child out of wedlock is frowned upon. I just hate it. WE LIVE IN AMERICA!

Muslim traditions don't change just because we are in America. But people can. Children out of wedlock is frowned upon in most religions but people tolerate it daily... Yes, even Muslim families . My good friend is from a Pakistani and Muslim family and he had a child senior year and they love him and that baby.

JustCricket · March 2014

I'm having a hard time he's such a hard core muslim that he'd be so against a child out of wedlock that he'd suggest an abortion.... I thought Muslims believed abortion was forbidden too. Correct me if I'm wrong. Either way, I see no reason for you to continue any sort of relationship with my father after words like that.

bumpuser10199668 · March 2014

Hmm doesn't Islamic law state that any child born out of wedlock does not bear the sins of its parent and therefore wouldn't be punished? (Aka not aborted due to Muslim law)

Allah says: “That no soul shall bear the burden of another and that a person shall have nothing but what he strives for” [Sûrah al-Najm: 38-39]

Also https://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=3896&CATE=42

Eta: your dad is the asshole, not Muslims

Soogerplum · March 2014

That's horrible! I'd never be able to speak to them again. A baby's parents marital status does not affect how that baby is loved and cared for. Marriage does not equal good parenting.

woahbabyno4 · March 2014

I'm so sorry. So sorry.

One of my best friend's sister recently had a similar situation and their devout Muslim Dad's handling of the situation almost ruined a 30+ year marriage. It's so horrible.

MrsLaLaBug · March 2014

Are you sure it's the religious aspect that they have a problem with and not the issue of who the baby's father is??? B/c he seems like a real peach if you ask me.

MBano · March 2014

@MrsLaLaBug‌ - they don't know of the problems between bf and I. Sadly, it is my dad being a douche....

LTMama · March 2014

MBano said:

This next statement may offend some of you: I absolutely loathe the Muslim religion and their opinions. We do not live in the 1950's anymore, there are MANY people out there who have children out of wedlock. To call my baby a bastard just because in your society it is frowned upon, is horrible. Especially bc I am your ONLY daughter and out of your 2 children, the only one who speaks to you!

I'm sorry your dad is being a dick. But as a Muslim, I find your comments about Islam incredibly offensive. I know plenty of people who have had kids out of wedlock, and while their parents were pissed at them, they embraced the children. My parents would have been furious if that had been my situation, but I know in the end they would have gotten over it and would have supported me and loved my child.

Carm covered the scripture for you, maybe you should read a little bit before you make statements like that. I'm tired of people pegging Islam as intolerant because of the way some people practice it. Every religion has its assholes, but that doesn't make the faith shit.

MBano · March 2014

@ltmama - coming from a Muslim religion, I really dislike it. I am sorry to have offended you, but in my past experiences, I haven't been able to be who I am bc of my family's faith. They all strongly believe in the fact that bc I am not married my baby is illegitimate. I was preggers before and had a mc at 7 wks, I called my mother crying, she said it was good to have happened. My opinion of Islam is negative. I do not like it. I am a Pakistani girl who strayed away from my family solely bc of their religion.

LTMama · March 2014

My point is, don't bash the entire faith because of how your family practices. That's not fucked up.

You could say I "strayed" from how my family practices, but we all worked it out and are close as can be. Again, don't bash the faith because of how your family practices it.

LSN8308 · March 2014

aside from the fact that was your dad said was obviously hurtful, being a muslim also and being surrounded by the faith and my own culture i could bet that your parents weren't too keen on you "straying" or having a "bf" let alone getting pregnant. so without trying to downplay your feelings, deep down you most likely knew they wouldn't greet the news with open arms anyway.

expecting them to change their ways because "we're in america" or because it isnt "1950s" is very hypocritical considering you condemn their life choices and their efforts to try and make you see things and live "their way"

if family is important to you, you need to learn to accept their choices before you can expect them to be considerate of yours. they're your parents and they raised you and try to direct you to a right path the only way they know how. i feel like they'll come around. and even if they dont, you need to prioritize your life and decide what you want to do without thinking that everyone should automatically be on board with your decisions. people disagree, its life.

GL with everything.

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