Newbie needing advice (also posted this on the 6-9 month board)

Etsitpab · March 2014

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the bump. I've been reading a bit but haven't had the nerve to really post anything until now. I'm hoping to get some advice regarding night weaning my daughter.

She was born on Aug 9th weighing at over 9 lbs. She has been growing steadily and weighed 19.8 lbs at her 6 month check up.

She's 7 months old and healthy. We've been using the sleep easy solution book and here is how it went down. (since she had only been mostly pacifying and not really waking up at a regular time during the night to eat, I chose not to do any dream feeds other than the one at 11 pm)

Here is how it all went down:

night 1: woke up at 1 am, fussed, back to sleep within 10 mins. Woke up at 4:30, didn't cry just played in her crib until 5:30. Then she started crying, I did my regular check ins until 6 am and got her up for the day then.

night 2: 1 am same as night 1. Then woke up at 4 am, started crying at 4:30. I did my regular check ins, fell asleep at 5:40. woke up at 7:45 for the day

night 3: no 1 am wake up. Woke up at 2:45, started crying right away, I did my regular check ins, fell asleep at 3:45. woke up at 6:30 for the day.

night 4: no wake ups, woke up at 5:30 for the day (I guess I should have left her in bed until 6 but I just got her up)

night 5: woke up at 4:30, cried until 5:30 and I got her up for the day (again I guess I should have left her in until 6)

My question is, after 5 nights, is it time to give up? or is it too soon. Should I make a change to what we've been doing? my husband thinks we should move her bed time to 7:30 instead of 7 and move the dream feed to 11:30. when I was getting up and feeding her every time she woke up, she was sleeping 7 to 6:30 or 7. So, she is a baby who needs the 11 to 12 hrs. Now that I've typed it out, I guess she has made progress. I'm just not sure what to do.

I was hoping there maybe people here who have experience with this and could offer some advice.

I appreciate you reading all this and thanks in advance!

kwrecks · March 2014

I won't be much help because I'm a firm believer, especially with bf babies, in not messing with night time feedings because of they wake up hungry, they should be fed. Good luck though, hopefully someone has some answers.

kwrecks · March 2014

Also, from what I've read about sleep, it can take a couple weeks before something sticks.

LEMSA · March 2014

You let your baby cry for an hour a night? Like, just lay on her crib and cry?

kkay1982 · March 2014

^^ this was my thought too. I couldn't let my LO cry that long.

kkay1982 · March 2014

Etsitpab said:
Hi Everyone,
I'm new to the bump. I've been reading a bit but haven't had the nerve to really post anything until now. I'm hoping to get some advice regarding night weaning my daughter.
She was born on Aug 9th weighing at over 9 lbs. She has been growing steadily and weighed 19.8 lbs at her 6 month check up.
She's 7 months old and healthy. We've been using the sleep easy solution book and here is how it went down. (since she had only been mostly pacifying and not really waking up at a regular time during the night to eat, I chose not to do any dream feeds other than the one at 11 pm)
Here is how it all went down:
night 1: woke up at 1 am, fussed, back to sleep within 10 mins. Woke up at 4:30, didn't cry just played in her crib until 5:30. Then she started crying, I did my regular check ins until 6 am and got her up for the day then.
night 2: 1 am same as night 1. Then woke up at 4 am, started crying at 4:30. I did my regular check ins, fell asleep at 5:40. woke up at 7:45 for the day
night 3: no 1 am wake up. Woke up at 2:45, started crying right away, I did my regular check ins, fell asleep at 3:45. woke up at 6:30 for the day.
night 4: no wake ups, woke up at 5:30 for the day (I guess I should have left her in bed until 6 but I just got her up)
night 5: woke up at 4:30, cried until 5:30 and I got her up for the day (again I guess I should have left her in until 6)
My question is, after 5 nights, is it time to give up? or is it too soon. Should I make a change to what we've been doing? my husband thinks we should move her bed time to 7:30 instead of 7 and move the dream feed to 11:30. when I was getting up and feeding her every time she woke up, she was sleeping 7 to 6:30 or 7. So, she is a baby who needs the 11 to 12 hrs. Now that I've typed it out, I guess she has made progress. I'm just not sure what to do.
I was hoping there maybe people here who have experience with this and could offer some advice.
I appreciate you reading all this and thanks in advance!

kkay1982 · March 2014

^^ just in case.

Etsitpab · March 2014

Thanks for the replies. To answer your question, I didn't just leave her. I checked on her, rubbed her back (she sleeps on her belly) talked to her, etc. She cries but it's never hard crying, it's fussing, whining, and a bit of crying. I check on her, she knows I'm there, I just haven't been feeding her from 11 pm to 6 am.

The reason why I wanted to do night weaning was because she actually wasn't drinking much when she was waking up, mostly just pacifying and taking in small amounts. So I thought she was ready to be night weaned. But like I said, I'm wondering, if from others' experience, this should have been done by now or is 5 nights not enough time?

MommyAmes2 · March 2014

Guess what... Most babies don't sleep all night. Andplusalso some babies need to eat at night.

I feed my baby when she is hungry at night. 2oz...4oz..6oz... Whatever she needs. He will sleep all night when he is ready.

Michelle N · March 2014

I don't let my baby cry. Whatever he needs, he gets. Even if it's just my boob as a pacifier.

Jamiepahel · March 2014

My advice is to give your baby what he needs, whether that's during the day or in the middle of the night. Parenting is a 24 hour job. As frustrating as it is to not be able to sleep all night through, that's what you signed up for. IMO, babies don't wake up at night to be assholes, they're needing something.

BellaOso · March 2014

When baby wakes up a feed her. Sometime I will let her fuss for 4-5 minutes to see if she will resettle, but if she is crying she gets a boob to the face. Crying = hungry or wet with my DD.

Sorry, babies wake up. If the amount she is eating is bothering you, I suggest getting her a little more awake. I stroke my LOs hair while she eats so it keeps her stimulated enough to take more on. She wakes up anywhere from 3-6 times a night.

Co-sleeping can take the pain out of wake-ups. Just a thought.

PB102012 · March 2014

I saw your post on the 6-9 month board, and cringed, but chose not to reply. Now that you're on our BMB, I am compelled to tell you that my heart hurts for your LO. I think that you should tend to her needs, feed her when she's hungry, etc. Babies will STTN when they are ready.

LEMSA · March 2014

Just pick your baby up and feed her. Please. Geez.

BlondieBia21 · March 2014

I can't.

Feed your child and get over the idea of having a "set schedule." A loose schedule maybe..
If your child is crying for an HOUR- pick her up! It isn't that hard. She won't be a baby forever.

MitsB707 · March 2014

What the fuck. Sometimes babies need to eat at night. Deal with it. Eventually they will sttn when they are developmentally ready to. Why is this so hard to understand?!

Etsitpab · March 2014

Perhaps I wasn't clear in my original message. I'm not frustrated with her and she's not bothering me. I couldn't care less about my sleep and I certainly don't think my kid is an asshole (how weird that anyone would think that about a baby)

My understanding is that babies benefit from uninterrupted sleep and after a certain weight/age, they can go the 7 to 8 hrs that I'm aiming for without eating. I'm just trying to give her the uninterrupted sleep that she needs. My decision to night wean has only to do with what I believe is best for her not me.

Anyways, thanks for all the replies and advice. Much appreciated.

BlondieBia21 · March 2014

Etsitpab said:
Perhaps I wasn't clear in my original message. I'm not frustrated with her and she's not bothering me. I couldn't care less about my sleep and I certainly don't think my kid is an asshole (how weird that anyone would think that about a baby)
My understanding is that babies benefit from uninterrupted sleep and after a certain weight/age, they can go the 7 to 8 hrs that I'm aiming for without eating. I'm just trying to give her the uninterrupted sleep that she needs. My decision to night wean has only to do with what I believe is best for her not me.
Anyways, thanks for all the replies and advice. Much appreciated.

If she's still waking up, she's probably not ready to wean.

Revez · March 2014

When she's ready for a 7-8 hour stretch she'll give you a 7-8 hour stretch.

henderson1026 · March 2014

Etsitpab said:

Perhaps I wasn't clear in my original message. I'm not frustrated with her and she's not bothering me. I couldn't care less about my sleep and I certainly don't think my kid is an asshole (how weird that anyone would think that about a baby)
My understanding is that babies benefit from uninterrupted sleep and after a certain weight/age, they can go the 7 to 8 hrs that I'm aiming for without eating. I'm just trying to give her the uninterrupted sleep that she needs. My decision to night wean has only to do with what I believe is best for her not me.
Anyways, thanks for all the replies and advice. Much appreciated.

sounds like what is best for her is to continue feeding her at night.

girlmama83 · March 2014

I can't.

Marvel1013 · March 2014

PackersFan315 · March 2014

I think of STTN as a luxurious gift that my LO gives me *maybe* once a month. Otherwise, he needs his little feedings and comfort in the MOTN and I just accept that because that's what he needs now. Sounds like she's not ready to STTN and that's okay for her. She'll sleep when she's ready, or not at all. Just make it as comfortable as possible for her and meet her feeding needs and such and she'll continue to let you know what she wants and how she wants you trained.

MitsB707 · March 2014

@jrtmom‌ I don't know you, but I like you. That's why we started cosleeping, too. Best decision ever.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

dani_brewer said:

MitsB707 said:
@jrtmom‌ I don't know you, but I like you. That's why we started cosleeping, too. Best decision ever.
Yup same here. When LO wakes up I just pop out a boob and we are both back to sleep in no time.

I tried bed sharing again last night because lo was up every other hour screaming. Not hungry just upset he doest have a nuk. Yeah,

Bed sharing lasted three hours before i put him back in his bed. I love my son but hes a bed hog.

MitsB707 · March 2014

dani_brewer said:
@MinnesotaMomma91‌ LOL LO is a bed hog as well. My space gets smaller and smaller each night.

Same. This was last weekend before I moved him to go to bed for the night. I got up to pee and he became a starfish. He usually stretches his legs out, too, lol

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

@dani_brewer‌ @MitsB707‌ mine just burrows deeper and deeper into my side till i scoot over then he does it again.

Hes searching for heat. And the boob. Apparentley the boob and the nuk are interchangeable

Ffrey1119 · March 2014

My lo doesn't inconvenience when he wakes up for MOTN feedings, this is what being a mom is all about.
I would rather be a tired mom with bags under my eyes than to let me child cry because his belly is hungry, it's not like it's his fault.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

dani_brewer said:

MinnesotaMomma91 said:
@dani_brewer‌ @MitsB707‌ mine just burrows deeper and deeper into my side till i scoot over then he does it again.

Hes searching for heat. And the boob. Apparentley the boob and the nuk are interchangeable
Yeah lo was just cuddled into me, I leaned over to get my phone charger and he rolled until he was touching me, I'm now on the very edge with him snuggled into my back, and the other 75% of the bed is empty.
All the same, I still get more sleep this way. If he wakes up and needs to nurse or just comfort suck its so easy I hardly even have to move. If he's nit fully awake and just starting to stir just cuddling will settle him. No getting up and walking down the hall for this girl (and good thing too cause he wakes numerous times a night).

Bentley sleeps in my room, for tge lingest time he was sleeping through the night. Until he had to be weaned offthe nuk

BellaOso · March 2014

MitsB707 said:

@MinnesotaMomma91‌ LOL LO is a bed hog as well. My space gets smaller and smaller each night.
Same. This was last weekend before I moved him to go to bed for the night. I got up to pee and he became a starfish. He usually stretches his legs out, too, lol

This is soooo my baby too. She kicks her legs out as well and arms up and usually likes to get a little sideways to make sure DH is affected as well.

And we have the same sheets in sage.

MitsB707 · March 2014

@BellaOso‌ that's too funny! Guess who is laying on a diagonal across the middle of the bed right now with me squished on he edge? Yup. My little starfish.

And aren't they the most comfortable sheets?? Love them.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Im thread jacking. Any body have any suggestions for night time weaning of the nuk? Ds will only sleep in my bed on my chest without his nuk.

janneann1127 · March 2014

MitsB707 said:

dani_brewer said:
@MinnesotaMomma91‌ LOL LO is a bed hog as well. My space gets smaller and smaller each night.
Same. This was last weekend before I moved him to go to bed for the night. I got up to pee and he became a starfish. He usually stretches his legs out, too, lol

What a sweet little sleeper!!

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

chelseamb11 said:

MinnesotaMomma91 said:

Im thread jacking. Any body have any suggestions for night time weaning of the nuk? Ds will only sleep in my bed on my chest without his nuk.

Do you mean with his nuk?
If you haven't tried this already, take it out of his mouth the first few nights when he's in a deep sleep. Then graduate to taking it out of his mouth when he first fell asleep. Then as he's falling asleep. I have a friend who did it this way and it worked really well.

Ill have to try that. Im trying to get him off his nuk because hes figured out how to get the entire thing in his mouth

kwrecks · March 2014

chelseamb11 said:

MinnesotaMomma91 said:

Im thread jacking. Any body have any suggestions for night time weaning of the nuk? Ds will only sleep in my bed on my chest without his nuk.

Do you mean with his nuk?
If you haven't tried this already, take it out of his mouth the first few nights when he's in a deep sleep. Then graduate to taking it out of his mouth when he first fell asleep. Then as he's falling asleep. I have a friend who did it this way and it worked really well.

What about during the middle of the night?

Often, Ellie will wake up and literally just want her paci put back in her mouth. She starts the night out loosely swaddled, but even when she has gotten both her arms out, she hasn't figured out how to get it back in. So most of the nights, she will start to fuss and if I go in and put her paci back in, she's fine and will instantly go back to sleep. If not, she will lose her shit and cry and it takes forever to get her back down. I'm not sure how to wean her from that.

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

Revez said:
When she's ready for a 7-8 hour stretch she'll give you a 7-8 hour stretch.

Yep.

Sorry OP I disagree with what you are attempting to do. It sounds like you are attempting to force something that your individual baby is not ready for.

Your arbitrary reasoning means nothing to your baby. All baby knows is that she has needs. Even if the need is just to be close to you.

You are not the only person that believes this type of crazy: I just don't get it. It takes more effort to try to force than just let night weaning/ STTN (or whatever other milestone you are attempting to achieve) happen by itself?

It's more stress/confusion on both of you & really doesn't achieve much. If it's not bothering you, there is no health issue & you just "think it's time" then you must surrender to the notion that babies are gonna baby. Nothing will make them do anything before they are ready.

Millie1984 · March 2014

I know there are so many different schools of thought when it comes to sleep, and I really don't blame you for what you are trying to do. Personally, though, my thought on sleep is that going with the flow is best. Your LO will set her own pattern, and will eventually sleep longer stretches when she is ready. And when she cries, go to her and comfort her.