Maternity leave vent :(

deanna5776 · March 2014

So I spoke with HR yesterday about my plans and what they were thinking about my leave etc.

Told them if it was ok with them I would like to work up until my water breaks or I go into labor, unless they had any objections....which they didnt....so score for one part of this mess....

Then

ME: I was hoping to take the 12 weeks that FMLA covers

HER: oh we were thinking 4 weeks total

ME: he cant even go to daycare for 8 weeks

HER: well i guess you can just bring him with you if need be

ME: (look of shock and speechless for the 1st time in my life)

HER: when I had my kids I was givin a week off and my boss brought my week to me at home that whole week

ME: I wont be cleared to work for at the least 4-6 weeks depending on how I deleiver and I have no family or friends that can take him and I am not bringing him here with me. Thats absolutely not an option

HER: well I will talk to the owner and staff and see what we can do about time off.

ME: I need at the very least 10 so let me know what you come up with.

Havent heard a word back yet. I would in a car dealership in an accounting office doing a job that keeps me so busy I dont even punch out for lunch and she now thinks I will have time to feed, change, hold and care for a baby on top of doing my job........i am so dumbfounded and disgusted I dont even know what to do right now.

I was thinking of just saying its 10 or I leave at the end of april and dont return or agree to whatever they say so I dont lose my health insurance and just say I changed my mind before returning......

sorry just so upset about this....i cant just drop him at daycare on a monday at 9 weeks old and leave him all day long everyday for the entire week....i want to be able to slowly ease both of us into this, its going to be hard enough but to have to leave him and go to work the very same day just makes me have a panic attack thinking about it

deanna

runningyogimama · March 2014

I'm sorry your HR person was so shitty. ;( Do you work somewhere large enough to be covered by FMLA, and have you worked enough hours to qualify? If so, it's not really up for debate whether you can take the 12 weeks that are covered by law....

RedInLove · March 2014

FMLA requires most employers to allow 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave. That requirement is based on whether the employer meets some guidelines, but if they do then they have to give it and can't punish you for it. It's federal law. I'd suggest searching the full terms of FMLA and determine where your employer fits in to the guidelines.

chknma · March 2014

JmeJme said:

Do you work somewhere large enough to be covered by FMLA, and have you worked enough hours to qualify? If so, it's not really up for debate whether you can take the 12 weeks that are covered by law....

this.

also, the standard for disability if you have the benefit is usually 6 weeks vaginal, 8 weeks c/s delivery

I would also be cautious about indicating you will leave if they don't agree. depending on your state they may lbe able to terminate you early, therefore you would either need to enroll in your DH's insurance if that's an option or pay for cobra (crazy expensive). you also need to find out the policies if you resign while on maternity leave. a lot of companies will make you pay back their part of the insurance premiums.

sorry it's stressful for you. have there been any other women on maternity leave since you've been there?

christieep · March 2014

Wow, it seems like you were blindsided! I would be a mess after that conversation. Like the PP said, if your company is large enough and you have worked long enough to be covered by FMLA, they don't really have a choice. I hope that some compromise can be made.

deanna5776 · March 2014

I looked into it extensively for the last few weeks and unfortunately they dont have to give me anything we have 45 employees and you need 50 or more for the law to take effect and she is well aware of that fact as well....

she is just a mean women who has always put work before her family and herself and i am just not her and never plan to be....

i knew it would be a fight but i never expected to be told to bring my infant to work.....its not even an option this place is filthy and everyone comes in here sick and what not cuz they dont offer sick days either....so absolutely not....

maybe its just meant to be for this to happen this way....we will see

talkthewholetime · March 2014

That's crazy! I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I can't imagine being back at work so quickly, either in regards to leaving/bringing my baby OR my own physical condition and health. That "woman" is awful. (and barely a woman, in my book)

deanna5776 · March 2014

No one haS had maternity leave here at all in over 10 years or so I cant even ask someone

I signed up for disability insurance 1 month to late not thinking i was going to get pregnant within 5 weeks cuz i am old .....lol go figure!!!!!!

thanks for the backpay point...never even thought of that

...

fortunately i am very good at my job and have had many offers in the past for other dealerships and positions so I know if worst comes to worst i can find something....just annoying to have to worry about all this stuff....

and unfortunately my husbands work does not offer insurance so i am stuck with cobra till i get something else too

....such issues...iy yi yi....i just wanna stay home for a bit and snuggle my baby!!!!!!!

dee

chknma · March 2014

sorry you are feeling unsupported and stuck.

you need to have an open discussion with your DH about your concerns/options. If you are able to negotiate a longer ML but not the full 12 weeks, does his job offer paternity leave/or does he have vacation accrued that he could tack on at the end to keep your LO home another week or so? is there an option to transition back part-time/wok from home or a few weeks after what ever period you feel would be adequate to be off full time in the beginning? of course that can be tough when you figure in childcare.

you can also look into your insurance options through the ACA and what the out of pocket cost would be for your family.

my DH is self employed, so I recognize how hard it is to be the benefit carrier.

plenty of moms for various reasons go back to work earlier then they would like. they still have amazing bonds with their babies and are fantastic mothers. good luck

Jennyinheaven · March 2014

Two things , just curious what your husband says/ thinks of the whole thing? Secondly I would check out health insurance through Obamacare website, not necessarily as costly as the old Cobra and with the no preexisting conditions rule you could switch at the end of the month so tou are not beholden to them for insurance while you decide whether to go or stay at your current job. I I switched to Obama care health insurance that I found on the web in January because I'm in a similar position with my job not sure if I'm going to go back after baby.

Mimaloo · March 2014

Do you work for a big corporate car dealership like Honda, Toyota, etc. or do you work for a smaller, local dealership?

I ask because if it's corporate, then does the 50 or more employer rule apply since it's a national chain or does it go strictly based on individual dealership? Does that question make any sense? Maybe something you could look into.

Also, your state may have a separate law regarding maternity even if you do not qualify for FMLA (I know New York does).

Bootsie327 · March 2014

I thought labor gave you at least 6 weeks of medical leave (8 for C-sections), but I'm terrible with this stuff in regards to whether or not you have to qualify. For me, it's 6 weeks medical, and then 6 weeks NJ FMLA (both paid), but no additional time from my company. I'm really sorry your company is being a douche about it. If they don't budge, I would absolutely leave after April if you have the means to take that risk...4 weeks is a ridiculous request!

talkthewholetime · March 2014

Bootsie327 said:

I thought labor gave you at least 6 weeks of medical leave (8 for C-sections), but I'm terrible with this stuff in regards to whether or not you have to qualify. For me, it's 6 weeks medical, and then 6 weeks NJ FMLA (both paid), but no additional time from my company. I'm really sorry your company is being a douche about it. If they don't budge, I would absolutely leave after April if you have the means to take that risk...4 weeks is a ridiculous request!

In NJ, FMLA is 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid, but the guarantee of your position when you return at the end of 12 weeks. Just an FYI.

jfletcher3113 · March 2014

Mimaloo said:

Do you work for a big corporate car dealership like Honda, Toyota, etc. or do you work for a smaller, local dealership?

I ask because if it's corporate, then does the 50 or more employer rule apply since it's a national chain or does it go strictly based on individual dealership? Does that question make any sense? Maybe something you could look into.

Also, your state may have a separate law regarding maternity even if you do not qualify for FMLA (I know New York does).

This is exactly what I was wondering too. Ugh, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this stress.

stephierd81 · March 2014

I also have the burden of my and baby's insurance. DH has a good job but the insurance situation is complicated. I'm a nurse but for a private office and only 10 employees so we don't qualify for FMLA. I'm taking 6 weeks (8 weeks if have a c section) and keeping fingers crossed my position will be there when I return (actually I plan to jobhunt while on leave but they don't know that of course). My boss acts like it will be but there's no rule to secure that. All my leave will be unpaid with exception of any vacation or sick time I am able to save.

Sorry you're in this position. Our daycare takes babies at 6 weeks. No it's not ideal but I'm just doing it. I admit I'm jealous of the women who have great FMLA or other types of maternity leave.

KBowen715 · March 2014

I was thinking of just saying its 10 or I leave at the end of april and dont return or agree to whatever they say so I dont lose my health insurance and just say I changed my mind before returning......

....and then filing a lawsuit or burning down the building??

ladywolf1313 · March 2014

I vote for burning down the building. However I'm sorry you are having to go through this but at the same time you don't need the added stress.

iqwedding3 · March 2014

This really sucks. On the amusing side, sounds like you have permission to bring your kid to work. Sounds like they're offering to save you money on daycare!

In all seriousness, what kind of twits do you have working in HR? That suggestion is borderline offensive to me.

kmatz10 · March 2014

Wow...that is ridiculous. If I were you, I would quit! That is completely unacceptable. And especially coming from another woman!

deanna5776 · March 2014

FMLA is not an option....

I work for a local Ford Dealership but its not considered part of the corporation.

My husband has told me to do whatever I need. Maybe just agree to whatever they say and just not go back and look for something else.

i have been looking for other healthcare for sure, but seeing as once I deliver i will have met my deductible, to start all over again with another deductible my kill me lol.

I still have not heard back from them on what there final offer is so we will see what they say. I have heard I can also get dr's notes for postpartum and stuff to stretch the clear back to work issue

thanks for helping me deal with this and letting me vent.....and for realizing its not just me but this women is a nut job!!!!!!

deanna

deanna5776 · March 2014

FMLA is not an option....

I work for a local Ford Dealership but its not considered part of the corporation.

My husband has told me to do whatever I need. Maybe just agree to whatever they say and just not go back and look for something else.

i have been looking for other healthcare for sure, but seeing as once I deliver i will have met my deductible, to start all over again with another deductible my kill me lol.

I still have not heard back from them on what there final offer is so we will see what they say. I have heard I can also get dr's notes for postpartum and stuff to stretch the clear back to work issue

thanks for helping me deal with this and letting me vent.....and for realizing its not just me but this women is a nut job!!!!!!

deanna

deanna5776 · March 2014

FMLA is not an option....

I work for a local Ford Dealership but its not considered part of the corporation.

My husband has told me to do whatever I need. Maybe just agree to whatever they say and just not go back and look for something else.

i have been looking for other healthcare for sure, but seeing as once I deliver i will have met my deductible, to start all over again with another deductible my kill me lol.

I still have not heard back from them on what there final offer is so we will see what they say. I have heard I can also get dr's notes for postpartum and stuff to stretch the clear back to work issue

thanks for helping me deal with this and letting me vent.....and for realizing its not just me but this women is a nut job!!!!!!

deanna

deanna5776 · March 2014

Sorry for the multiple posts it kept saying there was an error loading my reply

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