Intro/My Story

dandb925 · March 2014

Hi all, I posted this on the Loss board, but wanted to post here too. My name is Danielle and yesterday I found out my baby didn't have a heartbeat. Even as I sit here typing this, I can't believe it. I went in for my weekly ultrasound/blood draw and during the sonogram, the doctor kept looking but nothing. I am/was 9 weeks pregnant gestationally, but the baby only measured 6 weeks, 6 days. I was getting weekly sonograms and the baby always was measuring behind but when the doctors said it's ok, I didn't panic. We found a heartbeat early and it was strong.

I was fine yesterday, I really thought I was. My husband was home so we spent the day together and I had a couple of breakdowns. Today, it's hit me. Just this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Both the fertility specialist and my regular ob/gyn recommended a D&C, which I know is the right thing to do because having a natural miscarriage could take weeks. My beta came back at over 25,000. I just wanted to share because I know that my story is just one. I shared the news with my extended family (we're very close) and all cried together, but it's not the same. Thanks for listening...

Asallade · March 2014

Welcome doesn't sound right, but welcome anyway! Sorry that you're here and going through this too. I have found this board to be hugely helpful. Somehow it's easier to type about it with people you don't know than it is to talk with people in person (at least for me!).

I had a D&C a week ago - it was awful to wake up to the knowledge that the baby was really gone, but for me, it felt like it would be easier than the drawn out natural process. I've learned the emotional healing is a long process either way.

HopeNotLost · March 2014

I am so sorry for your loss.

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

***ticker warning***

We had a similar progression and found out in similar ways.

I struggled because the baby had a strong heartbeat and then was just.... Gone. Everything was right on except for measuring a little small. Everyone thought I was crazy, by the way because I just sort of knew. They all were not concerned.

We opted for a d&c which is scheduled for tomorrow. Only you know what is right for you.

If you're not comfortable with how quick, final and clinical the d&c is but aren't prepared to wait for weeks... Have you discussed using medicine to jump start the process at home?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

nohalo21 · March 2014

Sorry about your loss. The day we found out we lost our little girl I was surprisingly well composed. The days after were completely different however. The emotional process is a roller coaster. Sounds like you have a good family support to help you through.

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

I'm so sorry you find yourself here and for your loss. I have had 2 losses back to back and I have found the grieving process to be quite unpredictable. Some days are just awful and I'm angry, depressed, exhausted, sad, etc. And other days I am hopeful and optimistic. On really good days I find happiness. Sometimes there are triggers and other times it's just my mood BUT as time goes on it does get better as far as coping with the emotions. I had a D&C for my 2nd loss and I found it much easier than miscarrying naturally physically speaking. It was done and over with and I was able to focus on healing emotionally. I hope the process is similar for you.

Your will be in my thoughts and prayers.

dandb925 · March 2014

Ladies, thank you so so much for reaching out and for your kind words. This just really sucks, there's no one/nothing to hold accountable or answer why, but I know I will get through this. It helps so much to know that you've all shared in this, even though I wouldn't wish this on any woman. My heart goes out to each one of you and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers as well.

AggieBeth, thank you so much. It sounds like we went through an almost identical experience. My mom says that maybe subconsciously I knew it wasn't going to make it and that's why I was so worried/guarded, but who knows. I'm at peace with the D&C, which is scheduled for Wednesday. Even though I know it's gone, I'm not quite ready to say goodbye so I'll take the time. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and I hope everything goes well for you.

barely · March 2014

So sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation and ended up opting for a D&C. Inbox me if you need/want to talk or gave questions. You are not alone.

chicagojackie · March 2014

Hi, Danielle--

So sorry for your loss. It is such a shock when you find out the baby isn't going to make it-- sucks so much. You are not alone. I wish none of us had to go through this.

xo,
Jackie

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

*** ticker warning***

The wait is agonizing but I have gradually become accustomed. I'm still sad and very anxious though.

(((Hugs))) to you

stephy1221 · March 2014

*ticker warning*

I am so sorry for your loss

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