I need to get rid of my facebook.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

So my SIL posted a status about how we are one of only 7 or 8 countries who don't offer paid maternity leave.
Most people on this status are having a healthy conversation about how it's awful that all the countries have paid for several weeks if not months, etc, and then I see this.

why do employers or the government need to give people money to stay home after they have chosen to give birth? I don't get it. Time off and not get fired, I get that but paid? how is that fair to everyone else that has to come to work to get a paycheck? everyone has 9 mths to save money for time off. should not be on anyone else's dime.

Why it is pissing me off so much, I'm not sure, but I'm 99% sure this lady doesn't have kids and never plans on it. And also is possibly a judgmental bitch in her real life. (or maybe that's me.)

(On a side note, NORTH KOREA has paid maternity leave and the U.S doesn't? I honestly did not know that before.)

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

I honestly don't know her outside the context of "comments on my SIL's facebook" but based on my being judgy right now I'm pretttty sure she probably does.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

I feel like I SHOULD say something but this brilliant British lady gave this really long speech explaining most of it for me but I still want to be like "uh so you don't have kids then, right?"
If I own the fact I'm being bitchy, it's less bad right? :P

flyingsaucer · March 2014

I totally agree with you. The whole maternity leave situation in the US is fucked up. At my job, you are required to return to work after 12 weeks (no unpaid time off allowed), so saving money doesn't help. Also, health insurance. It's so sad that we do not value families more. I live in NY but was working in NJ when I had both kids and NJ's FMLA laws/programs are soooooo much better than NY. I totally agree with you and your frustration

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

Okay so @pobrecita did you get anything off at your job?

I am genuinely attempting to learn things since SIL is ttcal.

Also I live in NY too @kgopel. I have no idea what the laws are at this moment but I do know this lady's comment rubbed me the absolute wrong way.

flyingsaucer · March 2014

@pobrecita‌ My point is that saving money doesn't matter because you are required to return after 12 weeks. It's unpaid. I think it sucks. When I worked in NJ we got 4 weeks before the due date, then 12 weeks paid disability (partial pay) then 12 weeks Paid FMLA. 6 months. DS was in the NICU. 3 months would never have been enough

ReeseFox · March 2014

I could have taken up to 12 weeks, but since it was all unpaid, I only took six.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

I'm gonna step back in and say for a lot of people with kids who have to be in the NICU or such things it's probably hard to save enough money for the time they have to take off.

Also, it just seems weird that North Korea is nicer to mothers getting paid time off than we are.

flyingsaucer · March 2014

pobrecita said:

@pobrecita‌ My point is that saving money doesn't matter because you are required to return after 12 weeks. It's unpaid. I think it sucks. When I worked in NJ we got 4 weeks before the due date, then 12 weeks paid disability (partial pay) then 12 weeks Paid FMLA. 6 months. DS was in the NICU. 3 months would never have been enough
Most people get 6 weeks paid, and maybe that is at 100%. I am not following how saving money doesn't help.

The OP said that the FB poster said people have 9 months to save for leave. I am just sayin that for some people, even if you actually save the money, jobs don't permit extended leaves. And also, health insurance is lost. Saving money is not enough, in some cases. KWIM?

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

I'm sorry but that is an excellent typo and I giggled.

flyingsaucer · March 2014

Yeah, I like getting laid better. But getting laid is what got us into this maternity leave mess in the first place :P

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

Right? The NK vs US thing is killing me right now. NK is supposed to be more evil than us in every single thing.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

That is a very valid point. I am hyperfocusing right now. And missing forest for trees and whatnot.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

I figured I should at least vaguely learn what I was talking about if I was going to be judgy on someone else's opinion.

And dammit you guys are right. Stupid NK and its lying lies.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

Ohhh okay @susanb887 I get you now.
I feel informed now.
But that sucks if you had to be out longer for whatever reasons that you could be demoted

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

Sterling, you are blowing my mind with all the things I should have thought of already.

flyingsaucer · March 2014

Part of the problem is that it varies so much from one job to the next, one state to the next. If the government supported nation wide maternity leave pay, everyone would be able to count on having leave. There would not be so many bizarre variables.

flyingsaucer · March 2014

pobrecita said:

It doesn't vary that much. NJ has a really amazing policy.

Not true! Individual Companies vary greatly in their policies (but true that NJs policy is great... One of the few things they get right)

jorkz821 · March 2014

OP you could point out to the commenter that it's not "employers and the government" necessarily paying for mat leaves. I'm in Canada and mat leave here is paid through EI which you, as a worker, pay into. I have paid more into EI (tops out at I think $7k per year) than I will ever get out as mat leave (pays out max of about $20k per year). In sure there are some government funds in there as well but I don't think employers pay into it. Could be wrong though.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

Ah! A Canada sighting! Hi @jorkz821

@hilarityensued the north korea stuff was mostly me getting sidetracked.

tattooedtragedy · March 2014

ClaryPax said:

I was not paid for my maternity leave. My job forced me to take all my vacation and sick time, and my disability had a 30 day waiting period, so yeah I got disability for 2 weeks and if I saved more vacation time I wouldn't have gotten any disability because then it ran out after 6 weeks. So nothing paid through work, forced to use up all my vacation, and nothing for disability. Yeah I was covered under FMLA but all that gets you is your job back after 12 weeks.

Not necessarily true- I was laid off at the end of my maternity leave and it was perfectly legal because the office was being downsized and my position was eliminated. FMLA is no guarantee if the company is in a place where lay-offs could be done.

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