Gifts for the person(s) throwing your baby shower?

wtfisup · March 2014

Are you buying a gift for your host(s)?

ETA: If you are, what are you getting? Share your ideas in the discussion!

abastian00 · March 2014

Of course yes!

wtfisup · March 2014

The folks throwing our shower are two very dear friends -- a guy and another friend that's a female. They both have a lot going on in their lives right now, so I know it's a lot of work and they've put a lot of energy into it. Thus, I want to show my appreciation somehow. I haven't decided yet.

I might get them ...

a combined certificate for a restaurant so they can go grab lunch
each a plant? They like plants, and spring is coming. Maybe a fruiting plant?
a gift basket situation for each -- good coffee, something baked, a small plant?

I bring this up, though, because I haven't heard of other folks giving the hosts a gift. If it were a family member, I might not give it a thought. But since it's friends, I think I should/will.

jshrop · March 2014

I seriously never thought about it! Our shower is being hosted by our moms and my two sisters. Do I give them gifts? @lilnunz1 I feel like you are supreme queen of shower etiquette, what do I do?

ElTrain5 · March 2014

.... my mom and sister are throwing mine....and when I threw my sisters' last year they didn't get me anything (nor was I expecting anything) and they are the QUEENS of etiquette. So it's definitely not a most-do for those that are worried about it. I'll probably just take them out to dinner that night.

babygabe614 · March 2014

I hadn't thought about it, either. One shower is being thrown by my mom and a close friend, and the other by DH's aunt. I think I should probably get something for each... I think a nice wine basket of some sort would be good for my mom and friend, but no idea on DH's aunt!

bumpuser9343355 · March 2014

I'm having two showers, one thrown by my MIL and one thrown by my sister. I will definitely do something for my MIL, but I have no idea what yet. Probably something small since I am planning her retirement party at the same time she is planning my shower. For my sister, I might not do anything other than a thank you card. There is a lot of dramatic history between the two of us and she tends to do nice things like throw showers so that she can hold it over you for a long time after (plus my mom is the one who is paying for a lot of it) so we'll see how it goes.

roundthree24 · March 2014

Maybe it's a regional thing or my social circle/how I grew up but host/hostess gifts for showers are pretty much expected where I'm from. Like, my mom asked me the other day WHAT I'd be getting them, not IF I'd be getting anything. I've never thrown a shower where we weren't given a gift, and I've never had a shower thrown for me where I didn't give one. Honestly I'd err on the side of giving something, people put time and money into throwing showers so it's a nice way to acknowledge that effort and say thanks.

twistsandturnsto2 · March 2014

My mom, mil and a family friend are throwing mine and I am putting together some gift bags for each one. I've got a bib(I love my gma/aunt) for each, I'll do a bottle of wine, maybe a Starbucks card. I'm horrible at thank you gifts/cards so I am really trying to be on top of this one and get it finished up before the shower!

MamaTree17 · March 2014

I voted no but then realized I did get my Mom/Step Dad something when they threw mine - a gift certificate to a restaurant and made a Grandma/Grandpa album for when the baby came. I think if you're worried about cost you can make something like that and it would be fine! I was also thrown one by a few girlfriends and didn't get the two hosts anything but did take the time to write them a long thank you note. I really don't think you're breaking any kind of rule by not getting them a gift - a thank you is fine.

Pepper6 · March 2014

Considering it's likely I'll be pitching in towards the cost of my shower (my mom and sisters are 'throwing' it, but can't really afford to, so I said I'd help pay for some stuff), I won't do any hostess gifts. But really, it's not something that's the norm in our circle/family regardless of the situation, so it'd be a no either way.

jacksoha · March 2014

I've never heard of this or thought about it. My mom and sister are throwing my shower but I will be throwing my sister a baby shower a month later so I probably won't do anything for my sister. After reading this I may get my mom something small or at least write her a note.

BMaidPlanner · March 2014

It's My Mom (she "claimed it" as soon as she found out we were expecting) and actually I think I would like to get her something. She had plenty of ideas in her head that I was absolutely not interested in, and she is willing to scrap them all to make me happy.

I'm not going to let her scrap them all (I don't want to be the killer of her shower-loving-dreams) but I want to show her how much I appreciate her flexibility. I will also do something for any of my friends that are helping because none of them have kids and this all feels like a bit of a stretch.

wtfisup · March 2014

lizardbreath14, for a large grow like that, I'd probably get them one thing they could all enjoy. I.e. a wine and dessert basket they can partake in after the shower while they kick their feet up with individual thank you cards. Or maybe have them all over for a thank you brunch where you treat them well.

jenn72178 · March 2014

My best friend is throwing my shower along with my mom -- I'm hosting my BF's sprinkle the weekend before mine (we're due 3 weeks apart) so I think our showers are enough of a gift for one another - though, of course I'll be getting her baby gifts for her sprinkle

MSUMands · March 2014

From experience, throwing a shower is a LOT of work! A token of appreciation is always appropriate. I prefer gifts that are "disposable"... flowers, chocolates, restaurant gift certificate, massage. My most liked gift was a complete night out - babysit their kids for the night and give them a gift certificate to a local restaurant.

tbmadeamistake · March 2014

I answered for what I did for C's shower. My mom and sister threw me one, and my mil threw another. I bought them each a fun bag from 31gifts that I knew they would use. They have the cutest prints so it was fun shopping. My mil still uses hers, not sure about my family.

wtfisup · March 2014

Rachel5130 said:

I wonder what is a good rule of thumb for what to spend? A pp mentioned that a mil was throwing one and 5 girls another. I would think mil should get a bigger gift, since she planned and financially floated it alone.

It sounds like others are spending more than I would. I'd say $15-30 per person. I mean, there are some crappy gifts that cost $90 and some good ones that cost $20. Just pick out something for the person in mind that feels right and not too cheap. You're not trying to compensate them for the shower; just show gratitude.

LilyGracesMommy · March 2014

When I was pregnant with DD#1 I got gift cards as thank you's to those who hosted my shower I think $20-$25/person

hubbs173 · March 2014

My mom and SIL are hosting my shower and I'm definitely getting them gifts! Most likely I'll get them a gift certificate to a local spa, one that my mom already frequents!!!

coffee89 · March 2014

I'm not. However my host is my mom and I planned to do something for my parents as a thank you for everything they have done with preparing for this baby, not just a shower.

If a friend or my MIL decide to do something then I'll give them a token of appreciation. Nothing huge, maybe cookies and a thank you card.

BrunoBabies · March 2014

When I had my shower for my son I had 3 hostess, my SIL, MIL and my mom. I got them all these cute cooler baskets, with wine glasses and the chocolate wine (figured it's something not everyone would buy on their own). They all loved them and still use the coolers 3 years later.

Ashes92813 · March 2014

I always give a gift and a written thank you to someone who throws me a shower or party. At least a hand written thank you. I mean, they spend money on your shower, why wouldn't you formally thank them?

Laurelyn2012 · March 2014

My mom is hosting my shower so I'm thinking of getting her a personalized grandma bag and filling it with some baby items that she will want at her place.

MrsCase1 · March 2014

The first time I was pregnant I bought custom jewelery for my girlfriends who threw my shower back home. For the girls who threw my church shower I got them pretty journals.

chrissy1013 · March 2014

We are having two showers. The one organized by my husband's family is just his siblings and parents at a local pizza place. I'm planning to bring a nice plant or something small for my sister-in-laws who organized that event.

For the larger shower that my family is throwing at a banquet hall, I bought some really nice picture frames by Michael Aram and I plan to include the following poem (rough draft).

You've showered us with love

And we know that's just the start<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Because our mommy already told us

You hold a special place in her heart

Today was so much fun

You gave our parents such pleasure

We know that the day will be remembered

As one they will always treasure

We are excited to meet you

But for now we must wait

We want to grow big and strong

So you can come over for a playdate

We may or may not include ultrasound pictures of our twin boys in the frames with the poem. Depends on if I can get everything to fit.

lefriday · March 2014

Of course! So much work goes into this . I got my BFF a Tiffany's necklace of the bean because that's Dds nickname. I got another friend who helped some booze because she's 22 without kids and that's her thing.

Mom&nurse · March 2014

Maybe I'll do a frame for baby photo. It's getting big regarding the helpers so we shall see. Maybe homemade gift

LadyMacaron · March 2014

Absolutely! It is rude to go to any party thrown in your honor empty handed. I think I will be getting my mother something grandma related, maybe a little gift basket with books for baby about grandma, a personalized frame, and maybe something for her to pamper herself (like a mani/pedi gift certificate). My best friend will probably just get a gift certificate.

Pahialii · March 2014

I hadn't thought about this at all before so thank you OP - as I definitely will be getting something for my friend... Now I just have to figure out what...

lest12 · March 2014

I had never heard of this until now. I'd love to get my mom something special as a thank you. When do you think the appropriate time to actually give it to her is? Before? During? After with a thank-you note?

CindyJill27 · March 2014

My MIL is throwing mine and I put together a small little plastic "grandma's basket" that she can keep at her house for baby N. I saw it done at another baby shower and thought it was the cutest thing, especially for a new grandma. It had all the baby essentials in it and of course a couple I love my grandma bibs and onsies )

I'm going to do the same for my mama in SC for when we come to visit with the baby & I have a cute photo frame and onsie for my little sister who is throwing my shower in SC.

Don't know what to do the girls at work that are throwing me a work shower though. They are the sweetest and I love them so much, I deffinately want to get them a little something to just say thank you.

temursgirl · March 2014

I think it's nice to give a small thank you gift to your hosts, since they'll go to a lot of effort to throw you a party. I think the gift really depends on the recipient. One of our showers is being hosted by a couple who is very into wine, so I will find a nice bottle or two for them. Another is by DH's boss, who is quite health conscious, so I might do a gift basket of healthy food items. The third is by my aunt and her friend. I don't know the friend that well, so I'm thinking of an amazon gift card. My aunt likes little thingies, so she's easy... I'll probably go with soaps etc. in a gift bag.

whoberry · March 2014

I just had a shower yesterday and totally forgot about gifts until I was packing to head down the night before. I didn't have time to stop so I will be mailing something to the hosts.
My mom and sisters are throwing my next shower and I plan to get my sisters bottles of cider from our local cidery. I do not know what to get my mom though. She is extremely hard to shop for.

Eta: I got gifts for the hostesses of my bridal shower and bachelorette too. They had never gotten thank you gifts for hosting stuff before. They were surprised.

TonyaCody06 · March 2014

I was the host for a friend and she gifted me a pedicure gift certificate and a restaurant gift card. I wasn't expecting anything at all so it was nice.

BabyCurtiss2014 · March 2014

My mom and MIL are throwing mine and I didn't even think about getting them gifts...

jjva · March 2014

I've never heard of this either! I have never gotten a gift for a shower I've hosted. I have the same question as someone upthread, when do you give them the gift? During the shower? After, with a thank-you note? Whenever?

BabyCurtiss2014 · March 2014

I'm going to give little baby gifts to my mom, MIL and sister something saying grandma and aunt lol

something small, after the shower

jjva · March 2014

that's awesome advice you guys, thank you.

temursgirl · March 2014

About the timing of giving gifts: definitely after the shower. Depending on the situation, that could be after guests leave, privately as you're leaving, or maybe with the TY note. I agree it could be awkward in the middle of everything.