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Baby Names
Help! The in-laws are interfering
Hello Everyone,
I could use some advice from my fellow moms-to-be. I am 13 weeks pregnant and my husband and I have already agreed (or so I thought) on baby names. If we have a boy, he will be namedafter my late grandfather, Andrew. If we have a girl, she will be named after my husband's late aunt, and my late grandmother, Stella Rose.
On Christmas Eve, while my husband was helping my mother-in-law wrap gifts, she made a comment to him that she and my father-in-law like the name Paul (my husband and father-in-laws name), and that "it could mean more financially" if we named our son Paul." When my husband told me this, I wanted to confront my in-laws and tell them it was none of their business, and that our baby's name was not for sale. After I cooled down, I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut (for now). The problem is, now one minute my husband says he isn't "sure about" naming our son Andrew, and the next he tells me that if I want to name him Andrew, we can.
My husband says we can figure it out once we know what the sex is (in early February), but I am so disgusted by the fact that this conversation between my husband and mother-in-law even took place that I can't stop thinking about it.
Help!! What would you do?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Help! The in-laws are interfering
You have every right to be angry about this. In an effort to avoid drama...I guess I would just let myself cool down for awhile and see how I feel in a few weeks before bringing it up. Control issues much MIL? Any chance of a compromise of Paul as a middle name? Just so you don't have to hear about it for the rest of her life.
What about Andrew Paul?
Otherwise they can suck it up. My fam doesn't like the boy name we picked out. My mom wants me to name our first boy Jack Hirst L after her dad. Frankly I want to name him that too, but DH doesn't. I've got to consider his opinions too.
Maybe you could have a bidding war. See if your mom's willing to kick in any incentives for "Andrew" and then let your MIL know that the price has gone up. See how much "Paul" is really worth to her.
Obviously, the situation is ridiculous and you and your husband need to make a deal not to discuss names with any family members. Particularly since he seems easily influenced by his parents.
I would be furious is my IL's did that.
If you love the name Andrew then use that name. If they make comments and you are around then you should say something. They should not treat your child any different because of their name, and they need to know that could create a lot of problems if they did.
I would be very upset by what happened.
However, I do like Andrew Paul even without all this drama, but I don't know if would want to use it given what happened.
Ditto. I'd go so far as to call your MIL out on it, and tell her in no uncertain terms that if she ever suggests that sort of BS again, she won't see your kid.
This could easily become the way they manipulate you and your H for years to come. "Oh, if you want money for DS's college fund, then you'll do X thing for us", or something similar. Good riddance.
what i would do- NOT discuss your name choices with anyone- esp family. Tell them you are not sure- and you'll let people know when the baby is born.
sharing the names always brings out bad situations.
Did your in-laws know that you already had names pick out? I think its fun for them to want to be involved, but not interfere. If she knew you already had names picked out, then she's a pushy woman, but if she didn't, than it's everyone?s game to talk about names. But, obviously you and your hd have 100% control over what the name is. I know my family and my hd's family have been having fun thinking of names... I almost always tell the "that name sucks!"
Keep the name a secret until he/she is born. My cousin just had her baby and she and her husband didnt tell ANYONE the name. No parents, no friends, nobody. We all found out the day she was born. She said she was glad she did it because no one could "comment" on her choice and it was a nice private secret for her and her husband. I'll do the same thing as soon as I get PG. Good luck!
I'd tell my H that I was 100% positive I wanted the baby named Andrew and there is nothing to figure out if it is a boy. Can you imagine if you named him Paul and everytime you called him (which would be frequent) you would think you sold out your Grandfather?
That sux!
What about using Paul as the mn? Andrew Paul Lastname. I think they sound good together and it would please both parties involved.
GL!
DD 10/31/09 - BFP 3/22/11 M/C confirmed 4/9/11 at 8w4d - BFP 10/5/11 EDD 06/16/11
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