Intro & question about daycare teacher gifts

Winemama0613 · March 2014

Hello! It's about time I introduce myself as I've been a lurker for a few months now. I have a 9 month old son and I work full time in downtown Minneapolis so I look to this board for a lot of advice about daycare as well as sorting through the different feelings I've been having with being a working mom and missing DS. Now that I've introduced myself, I'll be sure to involve myself more with the board!

I do have a question for you all. We've had a rough start to daycare and the background is needed to help with my question so I'll try to keep it brief. We went through two home daycares at the beginning-one didn't have a set up that would work for a then 3 month old so nap time and feeding times weren't really happening. Then we moved to another home daycare and she decided that her new philosophy (started a week after we started with her) was that she wanted the babies to be independent (she only had my son and hers which were both 6 months at the time) and she would withhold feedings until she felt like picking him up and feeding him and she would put DS in the pack and play for extended periods of time if he was crying (she didn't believe in comforting). Needless to say, that daycare lasted less than a month.

So, that being said, we're at a new center that we absolutely love and are completely comfortable with. We've been there about a month and the main teacher in DS's room has a birthday this month. My question is-should we get her a small birthday gift (something like a bottle of wine and gift card to Target) or is that something that isn't really done at centers? I know we would then have to get the rest of the helpers in DS's room gifts for their birthdays but that is something we are more than willing to do especially considering how much they have helped us and made us comfortable.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading and for the advice!

vvvvvfee · March 2014

i haven't heard of anyone doing that- generally people just give gifts to their daycare providers around the holidays. like you said, that then puts you in the position of having to keep track of/get gifts for everyone else's birthdays. i would say just save the money and get them all something nice when the holidays come around.

jf198400 · March 2014

I give gifts at Christmas and teacher appreciation day (in May). I have never done birthday gifts. I don't know when all of their birthdays are and my kids move classrooms often so they don't always spend a full year with a teacher so we may miss their birthday anyways. With 2 kids with at least 2 teachers at a time it's just too much to keep up with. You can certainly give a gift if you want to, but personally I'd just wait and gift all of the teachers at the end of the school year or when your LO is moving up to the next room.

mlee116 · March 2014

DS's daycare may be different, but he has a main teacher and helpers that are in there occasionally, like during busier afternoons or to relieve the teacher at lunch. So, at holidays and what not, I just get his teacher something small. If it were someone who was in there all the time, I'd probably do the same for them.

In your case, if you want to show your appreciation for his teacher(s), I say go for it. As long as you want to do it and not feeling pressured to. I'm a big fan of showing DS's teacher that I really appreciate her and it makes me happy to give her a little token. She is the bomb and DS loves her, which makes my life easier and happier!

Leap08 · March 2014

I do gifts at Christmas and a thank you gift when my kids move up to the next class. I'm not sure I'd want to keep track of birthdays. I'd feel terrible if I forgot someone and had given gifts to all the other teachers.

djm31012 · March 2014

I think its totally personal preference. If you love the teacher and want to celebrate her---go for it!

Tink112011 · March 2014

We are pretty generous with gifts to DS's daycare teachers, but I have never done birthday gifts. I don't trust myself to remember or know every teacher' birthday. When I do know of a birthday, I certainly acknowledge it and say "Happy Birthday".

We give generous gifts for Christmas, teacher appreciation week, and a farewell/thank-you gift when DS moves to the next room. I genuinely appreciate his teachers and I like taking the opportunity to show that. I also always write a sincere handwritten thank you note.

I keep gifts pretty generic (gift cards, chocolate, lotion, etc).

Winemama0613 · March 2014

I didn't realize there was a teacher appreciation week and the idea of a thank you gift is perfect. DS won't be in this room by Christmas so we were looking at possibly giving gifts on birthdays to make up for a lack of gift come Christmas time. We'll definitely do gifts for teacher appreciation and a thank you at the end of his time in the room is perfect. Thank you for all of the advice!

Winemama0613 · March 2014

@kdc2007 Hello there neighbor!

nawlinsgrl · March 2014

DaisyBlinks said:

I'm a DCP at a large center and would never expect gifts on my birthday from parents. I have put in a little extra time with some families and children who need extra attention and I always appreciate it when parents take time to do something special as a thank you. One family brings me and the other teachers coffee every once in awhile. Another has given me $10 gift cards for a lunch place close by "just because". And another just told my director that I had been going out of my way to help them. All of those gestures made me feel very appreciated and made me want continue to work extra hard for those families.

Hijacking this thread a little bit, but wanted to ask what you think is a good/customary gift around the holidays? I know it's way off, but my two LO's will finally be starting DC this fall, and it looks like there will be at least 3 caretakers in each of their rooms. I'd love to have some ideas of what to expect to do when the time comes. Thanks!

Winemama0613 · March 2014

@nawlinsgrl, that would have been my question down the road too. In my group we usually do wine or coffee as a "small" gift but I have no idea if that would be appropriate for daycare providers.

@DaisyBlinks-is there a certain mom that heads up the money pool? That sounds like a good idea but I can't see most of the moms at our center wanting to do something like that.

LoCarb · March 2014

A card is appropriate

litzo27 · March 2014

I give generous gift cards on the holidays to all the teachers they had in the prior year (even if changed rooms). I would bring a baked goody or chocolate for a birthday if you want.