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March 2014 Moms
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Hot Topic: Breastfeeding in Public

lazyreaderlazyreader member
in March 2014 Moms
Woah. WOAH. So I randomly had this conversation with my husband and I want to see how you ladies take this. First off - I had NO IDEA he felt this way. I'm laughing now because I'm shocked and not really sure how to move forward. (His passion on this subject is much stronger than mine, but neither of our opinions will be swayed)
*My hubs is not a male activist by any means.

I think that breastfeeding in public is just whatever. You can't see anything and it's way the hell more discrete than throwing a blanket/scarf over you and/or baby. This is based off of my personal reaction when I see it happening.
My husband however, thinks that it's unfair and that women should not be allowed to breastfeed in public because men are not allowed to pee in public. They can/will be arrested for public exposure and indecency. But a woman showing a boob/nipple slip is ok and wouldn't be questioned. He sees this as unfair gender stereotypes that women are able to take advantage of because it's a baby. Yes, boobs are meant for feeding (this has nothing to do with the sexual nature of anything). But aren't penises meant for peeing? The basis of the argument is convenience. Breastfeeding in public is convenient. Peeing in public is convenient. (we didn't come up with other convenient things.)

lol... seriously I couldn't think of a counter argument. Logically he's right. And it wasn't based off of a need/want to piss in public. It was just about the principal of it. He even said he'd walk away if I ever breastfed in public (without covering up I assume). hahaha....
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Re: Hot Topic: Breastfeeding in Public

  • BabiesFTWBabiesFTW member
    Uh what?
    Not the same dude v
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  • cdnmommacdnmomma member
    Peeing in public is unhygienic I would think. Seems like two very different things.
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  • DRFleenerDRFleener member
    Has your H ever been around breast feeding? I have never BF but my mom nursed all four of us until about 2 and I would never compare feeding your child with urinating, and exposing yourself and an "act" being the same. His argument actually seems non-sensical to me...sounds like he is uncomfortable and attempting to make a justifiable argument.
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  • clo1982clo1982 member
    His argument is really just silly. Breast are for feeding and if they weren't sexualized by society, public bf probably wouldn't even be a topic of conversation. Feeding a baby doesn't involve exposing your genatalia and relieving yourself....something women are also prohibited from doing.
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  • SomersIslesSomersIsles member
    Breastfeeding provides essential nourishment for babies to thrive and, while in the act, does not expose the nipple. 

    Urinating is unsanitary and exposes the penis completely.

    Two separate things.  Plus, women can't pee in public either. 

    His argument is foolish imo. 
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  • pepperedmothpepperedmoth member
    Seriously he ain't got a leg to stand on here.

    I can't believe he compared breastfeeding to urination. How idiotic. Feeding a baby using parts of the anatomy men can expose all they like TOTALLY THE SAME as eliminating waste using parts of the anatomy neither gender is allowed to show in public.

    Yeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh
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  • rockoperarockopera member
    - women can also not display genitals in public. No one is whipping anything out to urinate/defecate.

    - men can show nipples at any time in public.

    - any other person can eat in public.

    - your H is being a huge idiot about this. I would honestly refuse to have the conversation with anyone who has that stance.
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  • lazyreaderlazyreader member
    Lol. I know his argument is weird/stupid. And yes I believe he has never been around a bf woman before. I also have no idea if he would notice it either.

    I was dumbfounded as to how in the hell he thought of it. Speechless. I read him some of the early replies and can't quite nail him down on any of it. So I guess we will see what happens.

    I also asked him what should we do in the situation where we're out and she's hungry NOW and our precautions weren't enough (pumped milk in bottle?). He told me I could go in the car. Then it was my turn to be passionate. I told him he can eff all the way off if he thought that was happening

    Later on the conversation came up again with my level headed mother (they have a great relationship). And some of his clarifying statements make me think this viewpoint is based off of him being uncomfortable. Because really he has no idea. Maybe it will be a non issue. Maybe not. Oh the joys of first borns. :)

    Thanks for your input. Here's hoping he's not in for much of a shock.

    Ps- funny ancedote: he was bf by his momma for a while. She stopped when one day he walked over started lifting her shirt and said I'm hungry. ;)
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  • dedeyobadedeyoba member
    Just to offer another perspective.. And yes, I BF and yes, I BF in public with and without a cover...

    As women we often assert that breasts are for feeding and all of the things typed above but if a person touches our boob without permission we expect our boob to be treated as a sexual body part. If we want to act like they aren't sexual and equatable to a shoulder, when it is grabbed it should be treated like someone grabbed a shoulder. However, I'm reality we react as though someone grabbed our ass (which is meant to crap) but is viewed as a sexual body part.

    Again, I bf in public out of convenience but I do think the argument that boobs are not sexual is flawed..
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  • SurpriseAt39SurpriseAt39 member
    Guess I'm lucky that I live in Ontario, Canada where it's legal for women to go topless. ;)

    Seriously though... I BFed both my kids to just about a year old,... in public,... without a cover,... wherever I was.
    - I sat on Parliament Hill infront of my first set of in-laws and did it with DD (they wanted me to walk 20 minutes back to the car in the sweltering heat to feed her, then return for our tour).
    - I fed both of them in restaurants, malls, parks, beaches, etc.

    Barely anyone noticed. The most notice I got was a shy waiter who avoided looking at me when serving and clearing plates.
    I was never asked/told to go elsewhere.

    My biggest issue ever has been while visiting friends or family and they offer me the 'privacy' of their bedroom. Um, if I wanted to be alone, I wouldn't have come to visit. I want to be part of the conversation, not hang out in your bedroom for 30-60 minutes.

    **sorry, I get irritated when this subject comes up.

    Also, I agree that comparing penises to breasts is not equal. Men have breasts, women have breasts.
    No one should be peeing in public.
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  • dedeyobadedeyoba member
    snow527 said:

    dedeyoba said:

    Just to offer another perspective.. And yes, I BF and yes, I BF in public with and without a cover...

    As women we often assert that breasts are for feeding and all of the things typed above but if a person touches our boob without permission we expect our boob to be treated as a sexual body part. If we want to act like they aren't sexual and equatable to a shoulder, when it is grabbed it should be treated like someone grabbed a shoulder. However, I'm reality we react as though someone grabbed our ass (which is meant to crap) but is viewed as a sexual body part.

    Again, I bf in public out of convenience but I do think the argument that boobs are not sexual is flawed..

    I don't think anyone is saying breasts are not sexual ever, but for the act of BFing they are not. Also, if someone grabbed my neck it isn't sexual but certainly inappropriate. Comparing it to a shoulder doesn't make sense.
    Even if you compare it to your neck, that's fine...generally touching someone's neck is not treated the same as touching a sexual body part such as a penis or ass...

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  • ProudMommy030614ProudMommy030614 member
    I don't care what part of me your touching if I don't know you or invited you to touch me I am going to throat punch you. And in a short time I will probably have an infant attached to my boob!

    If bf in public makes him uncomfortable wait until he sees the side eyers looking at him in public when LO is screaming its head off for milk. And I would be pissed if I was told to nurse in the car!
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  • myfriendscallmemegmyfriendscallmemeg member
    edited March 2014
    I personally believe this hot topic is one that everyone has to make their own judgement call on. I plan on BF-ing in public. Most likely with a cover, but its up to me to make the call on what I'm comfortable with. Some ladies feel comfortable without a cover, and good for them!

    But for some reason, the 'bad ass breastfeeders' Facebook page really irks me. I understand these women are proud of giving their child the best nourishment possible. But! It's a lot easier for me to avert my eyes in real life (avert them to the moms face even!) than it is to scroll past it on FB. Especially when the picture is JUST boob & babies mouth. Yes, breastfeeding is beautiful, I understand that. But personally I don't see the point of bragging about it on social media.

    I hope I didn't offend anyone. I tried stating my opinion in a way that i understand everyone is different, but understanding that doesn't make it easier to love everyone.

    ETA: I don't like their page, but a LOT of my friends were "liking" those pictures making them blow up my newsfeed for a while. Pretty sure I solved the problem I'm still complaining about though. ;)
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