Godparents?

Ecat504 · March 2014

Do any September mommas pick Godparents, and if so do you ask them before or after baby is born?

In my family godparents are asked before the baby is born. I picked my baby's godmother, and I made this little craft to ask her. I planned to give it to her the morning before her wedding (April 12) but I'm not sure if it's too soon? What are your opinions.

MrsLaLaBug · March 2014

I think that's so sweet! I know it's the norm down here to ask before the baby is born. I think it's a perfect time to ask bc we will be about halfway through in April, right? *too lazy to do the math lol*

lesleyn21 · March 2014

With my son we asked the "godparents" as soon as we found out the sex. I felt it was weird to ask before then bed jade we didn't even know the sex or name or whatever. It felt a little more personal that way.

We aren't really Relegious or anything so it was more of a if something happened to us would you take care of our child thing since dh is military. But we call them godparents.

chusum · March 2014

We ask afterwards, as does the rest of my family, but if we were on the ball I can't see why you wouldn't ask before. What a nice way to ask!

adoxyinherear · March 2014

We didn't ask until well after our daughter was born, but I think it's okay to ask whenever you feel comfortable doing so. We are not religious and it was mostly about wanting our wishes about who would raise DD to be known in case something happened to us.

bumpuser5078523 · March 2014

I don't get the godparent thing, unless it is a couple who will care for baby if something happens to both parents. Am I the only one?

BIL and SIL chose two people from different couples. How does that work, unless it's just an honorable title kind of thing? Are they going to share custody?

A&PL · March 2014

doeie04 said:
I don't get the godparent thing, unless it is a couple who will care for baby if something happens to both parents. Am I the only one?

BIL and SIL chose two people from different couples. How does that work, unless it's just an honorable title kind of thing? Are they going to share custody?

I completely agree with you! We have friends with 2 or 3 kids all with different godparents or more than 2-how does that work? I think that godparents should be the people who take care of your child if something happens to both parents. A huge honor

TinkL0ver · March 2014

Traditionally it's someone who will help raise your child in a religious way that corresponds to your views. I personally will use the title as someone who will be a responsible friend, someone I hope my child will be able to talk about things that they may be too embarrassed to talk to me or their dad. Also I know that odds are not in my favor to see my child grow up and I would love to have someone, other than their dad, to be able to tell them about all the stupid things I did as a kid (when they are old enough of course) and all that jazz.

MrsLaLaBug · March 2014

Maybe this will help?

https://youtu.be/yMcWcTcOeac

jg1011 · March 2014

doeie04 said:

I don't get the godparent thing, unless it is a couple who will care for baby if something happens to both parents. Am I the only one? BIL and SIL chose two people from different couples. How does that work, unless it's just an honorable title kind of thing? Are they going to share custody?

For us it is two people who will help to raise your child in the church. Not necessarily who will raise the child in case something happens, but rather the spirituality part of it. We chose people for our DS and will for this LO that will be there for the child as a support in life, but will help our children see how God is always there.

Ecat504 · March 2014

jg1011 said:

doeie04 said:

I don't get the godparent thing, unless it is a couple who will care for baby if something happens to both parents. Am I the only one?

BIL and SIL chose two people from different couples. How does that work, unless it's just an honorable title kind of thing? Are they going to share custody?

For us it is two people who will help to raise your child in the church. Not necessarily who will raise the child in case something happens, but rather the spirituality part of it. We chose people for our DS and will for this LO that will be there for the child as a support in life, but will help our children see how God is always there.

You explained it to a T. Someone to help me raise the child in our church and spiritually basically.

lesleyn21 · March 2014

Yea like there said it really is a term for two people they will help raise your child in the ways of the church. But like I said for us it was someone who could do that as well as who would take our son and this baby if something did happen to us. So we choose a wife and husband that we trust.

Ceridwen21 · March 2014

For DS, we asked my BIL and SIL after he was born, but only because we didn't get a chance to speak to them privately before hand. I personally don't like the idea of giving them a gift when you ask them. That puts a lot of pressure on them to say yes on the spot when they might have some reservations or questions and prefer to have some time to reflect.

mrsdanielleM2010 · March 2014

DH and I see Godparents as a purely religious/supportive role. We have wills that lay out what happens to our child/children in case something awful happens. We are choosing people who are active in our Church, who can be good role models, and who will actually help our kids question and develop faith. This is maybe going to cause issues for us because my brother and DH's sister are not on the list of people we would trust to do that job.

mrsdanielleM2010 · March 2014

JudyBlume14 said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

DH and I see Godparents as a purely religious/supportive role. We have wills that lay out what happens to our child/children in case something awful happens. We are choosing people who are active in our Church, who can be good role models, and who will actually help our kids question and develop faith. This is maybe going to cause issues for us because my brother and DH's sister are not on the list of people we would trust to do that job.

Samesies. I grew up in the church and intend to raise my kid(s) going to church with me. My husband is not, and never has been religious. It is very important for me that my kid's godparents will bring them up in the church if something happens to me (even if my husband is still around!). The roles will be filled with friends because, like MrsD says, I can't trust that my brother or sister, or BIL & SIL would do that - none are practicing Catholics.

I think this is certainly going to cause hurt feelings because our siblings all view Godparents like many of you do - an honorable role, someone to raise the children if something happens to the parents. But I view godparents in the traditional Catholic sense. We will include in our will the legal custody aspect of things, in which case, we would certainly entrust our kids to one of our siblings.

Let me add this - if my kids have a faith journey that leads them to a different faith or perhaps no faith, I will respect it of course. I have no problem with my brother not being a practicing Catholic, he's still an awesome guy. DH has suggested that if not picking certain people gets to be a problem that we have at least one godparent per child who will fill the spiritual side, and one as a more honorary position. We'll see what happens I guess.

jbzwifey · March 2014

A&PL said:

I don't get the godparent thing, unless it is a couple who will care for baby if something happens to both parents. Am I the only one? BIL and SIL chose two people from different couples. How does that work, unless it's just an honorable title kind of thing? Are they going to share custody?
I completely agree with you! We have friends with 2 or 3 kids all with different godparents or more than 2-how does that work? I think that godparents should be the people who take care of your child if something happens to both parents. A huge honor

In my husband's family they ask as many as they want....It's a cultural thing. I have seen where some of the kids have 10 godparents. I personally don't get it but that is how things are done in their country. We decided on two from each family. Really it's more of a religious thing. They are meant in the Catholic religion to help guide the child in living a religious life. As for my husband and I we choose them in hopes of our children having someone they can have emotionally support them should something happen to us. Be there for them as we would. I have been lucky enough that the people we have chosen (for our other children) are very supportive and involved in their lives. We don't limit it to family either. My husband is a police officer and his partner is going to be godfather for this LO. *edited for typos.....it's too early to type right

Irisheyes1247 · March 2014

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

DH and I see Godparents as a purely religious/supportive role. We have wills that lay out what happens to our child/children in case something awful happens. We are choosing people who are active in our Church, who can be good role models, and who will actually help our kids question and develop faith. This is maybe going to cause issues for us because my brother and DH's sister are not on the list of people we would trust to do that job.

We actually have dealt with this same issue. DH's brother is atheist. Which is fine, as that is his choice. But I'm sorry, you cannot be a godparent if you do not actually believe in God, at least not in the capacity described above. We've talked about it with him and he totally understands, but I think he still feels a little hurt that he doesn't get that special role.

MMason12 · March 2014

We haven't decided if we are going to have Godparents yet. Part of the reason is it would be super complicated and we would probably hurt a lot of feelings with who we would pick. We would not pick any of our siblings because as much as we love them, none of them (between the two of us we have 5 siblings) come close to having parenting styles that we would want our children to be raised with.

We more than likely would pick our best friends and I know my sister and my husband's two sisters would be really upset that none of them were picked.

If we do pick a set we will pick them before the baby is born but we still have a lot of discussing to do on this topic.

ashaw512 · March 2014

We asked my sil after she was born. We told her that we thought she would best one to raise our child if anything ever happened to both of us. We put a lot of thought into it.

mrsdanielleM2010 · March 2014

Ziongirl77 said:

We are still discussing this. I do think there is a distinction between the baby's godparents and the guardians if something were to happen to us. But we are up in the air about who to choose in both capacities. However, we hope to have it all ironed out to be able to discuss with all parties before the baby is born.

Totally agree - Godparents aren't going to necessarily be who gets the kids if something bad happens. If that was the case, all my future kiddos would have the same Godparents, and we don't want to do that. I want each child to have a special connection with a different adult.

JustCricket · March 2014

A&PL said:

I don't get the godparent thing, unless it is a couple who will care for baby if something happens to both parents. Am I the only one? BIL and SIL chose two people from different couples. How does that work, unless it's just an honorable title kind of thing? Are they going to share custody?
I completely agree with you! We have friends with 2 or 3 kids all with different godparents or more than 2-how does that work? I think that godparents should be the people who take care of your child if something happens to both parents. A huge honor

we use the title in a religious way. it is 100% to be a role model for that child in a spiritual/religious way. Being Catholic, I know at least one of my Godparents for my children will be a practicing Catholic. As for who will get our future kids if we die, it'll could and possibly will be someone different than their said Godparents.

courtney4425 · March 2014

We have already chosen Godparents for the babies... However, if something was to happen to my husband and I the babies would go to my mom and dad. We chose God parents in a strictly religious/spiritual sense.they will be there to help raise my kids in the church and offer spiritual support. My mom is the person who I know would raise my children how I would want them raised and she's still young and has a 7 year old herself.

brittneyandadam · March 2014

I have a feeling this will be an interesting topic in my family. I'm pagan, raised Lutheran...DH is generic Christian. I have strong feelings about letting my kids choose their own beliefs and being there to answer questions...not tell them the religion they have to follow. I know my family will definitely have strong opinions on both this and baptism. I think DH and I have some serious thinking to do...but maybe we'll just go our own route on this one.
I also have a hard time with this b/c my mom's sister was my godmother and my dad's brother was my godfather...they were always just my aunt and uncle. My aunt converted from Catholicism to Judaism when she married and my uncle is a chaplain for the Navy in Hawaii. There was no real influence on my religious beliefs...that was taken care of in Sunday school.

charbear23 · March 2014

With our son we didn't ask until after he was born, I hadn't been active in church before he wad born and became more active after we had him.

Now I am trying to decide if we should use the same godparents with baby number two? I don't know how that works.

Ecat504 · March 2014

charbear23 said:
With our son we didn't ask until after he was born, I hadn't been active in church before he wad born and became more active after we had him.

Now I am trying to decide if we should use the same godparents with baby number two? I don't know how that works.

My two siblings and I all have different god parents, but I do know a few people who have the same god parents. It's really 100% up to you.

Godparents?

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