Pregnant after a Loss

Would you do it?

So...I'm 35, DH 43.  This will be my first child and DH 3rd.  I am 7w5d along.  I had a loss at 9 weeks in November when I went in for my first US and there was no HB.  I have already had my first US at 6w5d.  Measure ahead of time at 7w1d with a HB of 150.  My OB will not do another US until the NT scan at 12 weeks.  Even though my loss was at 9 weeks.

The "would you do it?" question pertains to my work situation.  I work in healthcare and have access to multiple US machines as well as doctors who would gladly help me look for my baby's HB again to ease my fears. 

I almost feel like I'm tempting fate, but as all you know...the anxiety and fear is overwhelming.  Especially when you "don't know" and you are approaching the milestone of when you lost a baby.  Would you guys sneak in an US if you had access to it??

Thank you all sincerely.....

A very anxious me....

Re: Would you do it?

  • I'm generally against unnecessary medical procedures but the first trimester is HARD. If the occasional ultrasound helps you get through it, so be it. But you have to be prepared for what you see or don't see on the ultrasound, especially since it won't be your doctor performing it or reading the results.
    So, I guess I wouldn't blame you for wanting that reassurance, but I don't think I would do the ultrasounds in the way you're describing.

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  • Honestly, I would do it. That's my personality though. I am a "need to know" person and have zero patience. With that being said, I agree you need to prepared no matter what it shows bc as pp said, it's not your OB doing it. I think it's a personal decision that only you can make. But I completely understand if you do!! Good luck with everything!

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  • I would do it - I've read studies that extra care and u/s during the first tri to help ease anxiety had higher success rates - not saying stress causes m/c at all, but just interesting to see what those studies showed. Our tech also let us know she had one every week and her girls Re healthy teens now

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  • (((HUGS)))  The first trimester is really hard!

    I actually have a very similar work environment.  I did not sneak a peek between my 6 and 12 week ultrasounds.  It was a long difficult time to wait and it crossed my mind a few times, but I decided to wait it out for a few reasons.  First, I didn't want anyone at work to know that I was expecting, and even though I probably could have scanned myself, I would have hated to be "discovered" that way.  Second, it was really important to me to be with DH for my ultrasounds so that we could experience seeing the baby together.  It meant a lot to both of us.  Lastly, and probably most bizzarly, if something terrible had happened, I wanted to "be pregnant" as long as possible.  Every day I get to have this baby with me is a gift and even if something happened, I guess I just wanted to believe for awhile longer.

    All of that being said, I wouldn't judge at all if you did sneak a peek.

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  • If I'm being honest, I would do it. Sometimes the peace of mind is just worth it.
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  • nyg2042nyg2042 member
    edited March 2014
    I certainly understand the desire for additional ultrasounds.  However, I would want my H at all of my ultrasounds for moral support.  Also, God forbid anything was wrong, I would not want to find out from a co-worker.  Honestly, I think you need to do what feels right for you.  I hope this time flies for you and that everything turns out perfectly!


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  • Personally I would do it....at least once somewhere in between appointments. If it helps ease your anxiety some then I'm all for it. I had three ultrasounds at 6, 8, and 9 weeks. And then my NT scan at 13weeks. The wait between the 9 and 13 week ones was really hard. If I had an opportunity like that I would have jumped on it.
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  • Yea I would do it. But, I would set limits for myself because I tend to get obsessive and anxious. So I would promise myself to do it one time and I would talk to DH first. I honestly don't think he would want to not be there. And if something bad happened, then I would be all alone. It's tough when those things are dangled in front of your face! There are pros and cons to both sides.

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  • Yes, I would do it for sure.  Like pp said, you just have to be prepared for what you may see.  I can just imagine how anxious I would have been going that long without another u/s.  I think my NT scan ended up being my 4th u/s.  My OB was very willing to check every 2 weeks or so for me.
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  • I would do it too. I had an U/S at 6 weeks at the RE and again at 9 weeks for dating at a new OB, then had the NT and anatomy scans, so 4 total this whole pregnancy. I have to say I'm going absolutely crazy not having seen her since 17 weeks. I had an ultrasound done to check my breasts and I almost grabbed the wand and put it on my belly....but then the tech would have thought I was a little crazy. :) If I had the option to sneak a peak, I would do it.




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  • Thank you everyone...DH is just as anxious as I to make sure there still is a HB, so he wants me to do it.  I think I will do it, but just once around 10 weeks.  That will put me past my loss point and there won't be too long of a wait for the NT scan...

    Thank you all!

  • I work in labor and delivery, I sneak peeks all the time. It's a perk of the job, and with my anterior placenta-- it really helped ease my mind when I was still unable to feel him move.



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  • Follow your heart.... I would do it, but at the end of the day this is you. Search from within and at the end you would do what feels right for you... And we are here for you! Sending you lots of positive energy!
  • Absolutely I would for the piece of mind. I had a Doppler and checked on LO every other day early on.

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  • Personally, I would do it! The first tri is so hard, GL!
    (USE TO BE, WISH2BEMOMMY). 1st BFP ever Aug. 16, 2010.... 1st OB appt. Sept. 8, 2010, u/s showed poss. blighted ovum.... b/w 9/8/10 22,698 b/w 9/10/10 14,521.... mmc confirmed, started naturally m/c 9/15/10, d & c 9/16/10 I love you my precious monkey!! 2nd BFP March 2011.... c/p, miss you lil one!! 3rd BFP Nov. 20, 2011, subcornial hemorrhage detected 11/24/11 heartbeat found.... LO's heartbeat lost 11/25/11.... d & c 11/26/11..... I love and miss you so much baby!!!! C/P 4/26/12.... gone before I knew you.... off BCP 10-1-13.. BFP 11-20-13.. SCH for 7 weeks.. 3-4-14: It's a Girl!.. 4-22-12 emergency cerclage placed..7-7-14 cerclage removed at 36w.. delivered Lillian Marie 7-28-14..
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  • Absolutely I would.  My SIL is a nurse and she had her friends give her a peak a few times during her pregnancy.  Probably more often than she mentioned to me.

    I'm high risk and have u/s constantly through my pregnancy so I'm not one of those believers that they cause harm to the baby.

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  • I'm another yes vote.. but then again, I'm the one that went into the ER when I thought I was 10 weeks to make sure everything was okay, only to find out that I was only 5 with no fetal pole or anything, and I had to wait another week to find out anything on another ultrasound, and since, I went back in, when I actually was 10 weeks, just to make sure everything was okay. The first trimester is so hard, and even now at 16 weeks tomorrow, I have a hard time. I'm still waiting on my doppler to come in the mail to ease my worries. 
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  • I'd have a really hard time not doing it. Having your H on the same page makes it a little easier. My OB is due 2 days after me and said she capped herself to every other week early on, and she has a machine in every exam room.
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  • voplovoplo member
    I would do it too. Like, c'mon... I told myself I wouldn't ever buy a doppler, and I am just waiting for one to arrive. Pgal brain is the worst! And if you have it at hand, it doesn't cause any damage and it is going to give you a big peace of mind...I totally would go for it. I had one at 6, 8 and 12 weeks and I am so glad that my doctor scheduled them for me...that made the first trimester much more bearable. 



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  • Another yes vote here! I would not be able to resist if I had such easy access.  That is why I bought a doppler.
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  • If I'm being honest, I would do it. Sometimes the peace of mind is just worth it.

    Agreed.



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  • I would do it! My OB told me she did the same thing and scanned herself all the time when she was pregnant. Now I am 16 weeks and I've already had 4 ultrasounds. I think it just helps to ease fear.

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  • I would do it. I had 2 ultrasounds (at 6 weeks and 7weeks), I am now 9 weeks and I'm dying to see the baby again. I also don't know when my next one will be because I don't plan to do the 12 week testing. I would do it.
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