Update: keeping the IEP

lite-bright · March 2014

Short story: IEP meeting last week, went longer than I'd expected and I had to hand off to DH by himself, who did a great job advocating for DD1 and we'll get proposed goals this week.

Long story: Meeting was Thursday. It was kind of stressful for me, because I had only scheduled an hour before I had to leave for a work event (our meetings have typically been an hour the last three years). I didn't realize that the tri-annual, which includes review of eligibility, would take twice that long, so I had to leave just as we were getting to the meat of things. GAH.

But. But! That meant DH took over, and he did awesome. I walked out convinced that they were ready to drop the IEP and take care of the areas she still needs to work on (comprehension is not in line with her reading skills, plus social skills) in a less formal way. They were definitely headed that way and hadn't even prepared any suggested goals, which they typically do, because they came in thinking that all the numbers from their evaluations put her at or above grade level, so there wasn't justification for a continued IEP despite her still having some areas of weakness. They were ready to check the "no" box on the eligibility sheet and end the meeting.

DH was even less comfortable dropping the IEP than I was, and he really pushed them on "you're saying she's doing well, yes -- but you're also recognizing that she still has areas of weakness where her education is impacted, beyond the evaluation numbers. Why would we not keep an IEP in place, albeit with minimal services to address the areas of need, rather than wait until she's behind enough to warrant another evaluation process?"

And he persuaded them.

He is definitely the guy to have in the room for an argument! They're going to write up suggested goals and get them to us next week. We won't have OT and she didn't qualify for speech (I was initially told she'd need to demonstrate need in one of those areas to maintain the IEP), but she will get support on reading comprehension and social skills group work. Luckily, she has the medical dx to help justify. The draft document currently says 99% of her time will be with typical peers, so very, very little pull-out.

We got grade-cards Friday and she had slipped from above-average in comprehension to average, which confirms to me that she's struggling with it more as the work is progressing and made me extra-glad we've still got the IEP in place.

I'm proud of DH. He was a strong advocate and although I think there were two good options, this is the more secure one. It reaffirms to me that I can trust him with this stuff and he's going to come out with a result as good or better than what I would get on my own. He's come so far from the early days and sometimes I need a reminder of that. Plus, the teachers & therapists still tend to talk directly to me in those meetings rather than both of us -- it's subtle, but you can tell they defer to me. Which I don't necessarily mind, lol, so I think it was also good for the team, long-term, to recognize that he really is a full partner.

lite-bright · March 2014

And I'm just going to add that DH has been working insane hours lately (like 12+ hour days and he's working two full days this weekend), so it was even more significant that he made this a high priority and was able to take 2+ hours to be there for the IEP meeting and come out the way he did.

Assembly_Reqd · March 2014

He dazzled them with his testosterone!!! kudos to your DH

macchiatto · March 2014

That is wonderful! Oh wow, I would have had a hard time having to leave a meeting like that half way through, but that is fantastic that your DH did such a great job and you were able to keep the IEP in place! I am so happy for you guys.

And auntie, that made me laugh.

I am definitely bringing my H to our son's IEP meeting on Tuesday as well.

I do notice they tend to defer to Mom and as a SAHM I *am* a lot more involved in his school, therapies, etc., but DH can definitely be more persuasive.

bumpuser511563 · March 2014

macchiatto said:

That is wonderful! Oh wow, I would have had a hard time having to leave a meeting like that half way through, but that is fantastic that your DH did such a great job and you were able to keep the IEP in place! I am so happy for you guys.

And auntie, that made me laugh.

I am definitely bringing my H to our son's IEP meeting on Tuesday as well. I do notice they tend to defer to Mom and as a SAHM I *am* a lot more involved in his school, therapies, etc., but DH can definitely be more persuasive.

It is the latest trend to drag DH along!

I drag DH so I will not break down and so he would be more involved. I think he is intimidating like auntie's DH against an IEP team of women.

bumpuser511563 · March 2014

Hooray, Lite Bright's DH! I would have felt guilty to leave in the middle. Great teamwork for your DD's sake!

MirandaHobbes · March 2014

That is awesome all around!

mommy0411 · March 2014

That is awesome! I am bringing my DH to the ARD as well! Mostly to get him more involved

CCinLove · March 2014

Good news!

We're in the same state but different school districts, so I'm curious about something. Does your DD have the specific Autism designation or the general special education one? I probably have the terminology wrong, but I was told when my DS got an IEP that we could choose which one to proceed with, and the Autism designation meant that he would keep his IEP until he is 9 whether he needed it or not. We went that route under the assumption that we wouldn't have to revisit if he still qualified for services until the end of elementary. I'm wondering if this is something we're going to have to worry about in the next few years. Or maybe this is school district specific (we're in DPS).

lite-bright · March 2014

CCinLove said:

Good news!

We're in the same state but different school districts, so I'm curious about something. Does your DD have the specific Autism designation or the general special education one? I probably have the terminology wrong, but I was told when my DS got an IEP that we could choose which one to proceed with, and the Autism designation meant that he would keep his IEP until he is 9 whether he needed it or not. We went that route under the assumption that we wouldn't have to revisit if he still qualified for services until the end of elementary. I'm wondering if this is something we're going to have to worry about in the next few years. Or maybe this is school district specific (we're in DPS).

Hi.

She has the autism classification, because we have a medical dx to back it up -- we got it a week before her first IEP was drafted, so she has never been classified under the general category.

I've never heard the IEP until age 9 piece, and it sounds like from our school psych that there are several kids at DD1's school with ASD who don't have IEPs. We're in JeffCo.

CCinLove · March 2014

Thanks @light-bright and @auntie. It must have been the Developmental Delay designation that was the other option. I'm thinking that I don't have correct information. I'm really glad I read this post. DS' IEP meeting is next month, so I'll definitely be prepared to justify why he needs an IEP just in case. I'll be reviewing this post before then.

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