Wtf phone call

sorrellam30 · March 2014

Sorry to be blowing up the board! I talked to my RE today. He's willing to try one more cycle but then wants me to consider donor eggs. Honestly I'd jump on the donor egg ship right now, DH seems receptive but I think he wants to try with my eggs once more. I was surprised donor sperm wasn't suggested, he said we could if we wanted, DH has horrible sperm but I guess that's easier to get around? I wish money weren't an issue. But RE said donor eggs have their own shared risk so we'd get 6 more tries. A lot to consider, but I'm glad there are possibilities. Also I asked about sac/beta and he said the sac was developed when my beta was high and hasn't passed yet since it's dropped, we'll have to have another ultrasound in like a week to make sure it's gone

jaztastic · March 2014

How are you processing it all? Are you ready to jump into another cycle right away?

sorrellam30 · March 2014

No not right away, maybe June? But we are going to meet w my RE in person to discuss DE so maybe plans will change

Mrs.McIrish · March 2014

I'm not sure where to start but I think you need a second opinion. I HATE that they are saying to use donor eggs because it looks more like a sperm issue to me. As you know I've done 3 DE cycles (everyone was always worried about my eggs) yet now we've had 3 poor DE cycles. Aren't your embryos degrading or slowing between day 4 and 5??? That's not the eggs!!! I'd hate for you to spend the $ on DE and have the same thing happen. You need another opinion bc spending big bucks on DE and having that blow up.

sorrellam30 · March 2014

I thought that too! Amazing how smart infertility makes us....
We are going to meet w him and then I'll set up a second opinion. Id love to be able to use DH sperm but again we've known there's been an issue there since the beginning so who knows

Mrs.McIrish · March 2014

It just makes my blood boil when thy automatically blame the eggs!!! Especially if the growth issue is day 4-5....

sorrellam30 · March 2014

DH and I are both fertility hot messes, we discussed DE and DS also as a potential option

Mrs.McIrish · March 2014

sorrellam30 said:

DH and I are both fertility hot messes, we discussed DE and DS also as a potential option

I know the feeling.. I can't remember if I already asked this but were you both karoptyped?

sorrellam30 · March 2014

I was, I do not think he was...if he wasn't he def should be, I'll add it to my list of things

poohniki · March 2014

So sorry you are going through this. Mrs. McIrish is absolutely right. Typically eggs use your metabolism until day 4- then the sperm kicks in. I know my RE says a young good quality egg can sometimes make up for sperm issues, but it's such a gamble.

I know when we decided to do donor sperm, we also figured we would try IUI first and see where that takes us, which is where I am currently.

If DH and you agree to donor sperm, maybe that is something you can try to attempt to keep costs down?

Lots of hugs

mm29 · March 2014

I agree with McIrish. I would get a 2nd opinion too! We went to DE per multiple recommendation and I feel most of our problem may have been DH's BT. GL with what ever you decide!!

Km672 · March 2014

Again, I'm so very sorry you are going through all of this. I'm glad you are getting a 2nd opinion- there are no easy answers in this process. If you do peruse DE, would your husband be receptive to fertilize 1/2 with his sperm and 1/2 with DE? We were seriously considering this, until my husbands DNA fragmentation results were some of the worst his urologist had ever seen. This way, at least if the embryos with your husbands sperm doesn't work out, you *should* have at least a few embryos left from both donors to try with. I'm not sure if this helps, but I've always liked to have a few possibilities to think about and bring up with the RE.

sorrellam30 · March 2014

Honestly I think we are up for any discussion! I want to know what all our options are. Shady grove has a DE shared risk program I'm also wondering if we did a cycle w DH sperm and they suck if we could use DS the next time. I think the answer is yes. I literally have a page of questions for our meetings.

JM1977 · March 2014

sorrellam30 said:

Honestly I think we are up for any discussion! I want to know what all our options are. Shady grove has a DE shared risk program I'm also wondering if we did a cycle w DH sperm and they suck if we could use DS the next time. I think the answer is yes. I literally have a page of questions for our meetings.

****SIGGY WARNING****

I hope this is helpful, but I just wanted to throw out there that this is exactly what we did. We knew we had a serious egg issue, so we got into the DE shared risk program. My DH's sperm never looked great (low morphology and high DNA fragmentation), but he did meet the standard to get into the shared risk program. We didn't realize how bad his sperm was until we only had 2 of the donor eggs from our first DE cycle fertilize (I can't remember how many eggs we got - we were in the 1:2 program - but it was a lot like 18). So then we used DS for our second DE cycle in the 6-cycle guarantee program, and that was our successful cycle.

I know how hard it is when you have problems on both sides. I think it's great that you're looking into all your options, and I wish you all the best.

sorrellam30 · March 2014

Thanks for sharing, we are very open to these options as long as our finances hold out!

JM1977 · March 2014

Oh, I hear you. The costs of DE are especially intimidating. We were in the Shared Help program at SG where we got a discount based on our income being below a certain threshold. We probably would have also considered donated embryos or a program like California Conceptions if we had known how severe our sperm issue was before pursuing DE. But the option of using your DH's sperm for the first DE cycle is a good one (knowing you can move on to DS if you need to).

sorrellam30 · March 2014

Do you mind me asking how much you paid w the discount? We initially got a discount on this shared risk because I was in school and not working, now I'm only working part time so I'm hoping we would qualify again and that DH doesn't make too much...

sorrellam30 · March 2014

You can pm me if you want!

PrettyAccountant · March 2014

I was away for a few day so I need to tell you I'm so sorry. Sending you many hugs. I understand the need to push forward and do it as soon as possible. Many hugs.

JM1977 · March 2014

sorrellam30 said:

Do you mind me asking how much you paid w the discount? We initially got a discount on this shared risk because I was in school and not working, now I'm only working part time so I'm hoping we would qualify again and that DH doesn't make too much...

I think we qualified for the largest discount because it goes over the past 2 years, and we had both been students/interns at some point during that time, so our income was quite low (you have to submit your tax returns to verify). The discount varied depending on what types of options you chose. I think we would have gotten 40% off of a single cycle or 20% off the shared risk option where we paid less upfront but a fee per cycle (that's the one we chose to do). I don't think the discount applied to the all-inclusive shared risk program. In addition the biggest discount that we got, I think there was another category where the income requirements were not as low but you only got 20%/10% off.

If you PM me, I'll send you the info I have (although it's somewhat outdated now).

ETA: Sorry I just reread your post, and it sounds like you're already familiar with the program. Specifically for DE, I think we paid around $18,000 for the shared risk part and then around $4,000 per cycle after the discount.

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