Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Jazibel
member
Re: Parenting Check-In
I'm unfortunately sitting here at work pumping and very sad. I hate that I had to return to work so soon and miss them so much. The first few days back, J brought them to me over lunch so I got to feed them and didn't go for more than a few hours without them. Today I left the house at 7:15am and won't be back until 6:15pm. This is really really hard. Plus, I'm a nanny currently and one parent is here today, making the day that much harder.
Oh my, I just realized what a downer I was being, sorry! On a lighter note, we had our newborn photoshoot yesterday and I'm so excited to get all the pictures back! Also, J and I split night duty by each of us taking one baby for the night (same room, just responsibility-wise). Vienna slept so well last night, it was amazing! She had her bedtime feeding at 9 then her next at 1am! Then she fed sleepily and went right back down until a little after 5am. It was glorious. Unfortunately Lexie did not sleep as well for J.
QOTD: I think they change pretty often still. Sometimes one is more easy going, sometimes the other. They both love to cuddle and be wrapped up and worn (yay!).
@AmandaG47 mad props to you for holding it together after having to go back to work so soon. That's sheer craziness, but I understand you're doing what you need to do for your family. Here's hoping it gets easier!
Let's see, what's going on this week in the world of no sleep ... Gabe is 11 1/2 months old and FULL OF IT. He is constantly on the move and into everything. S is finally feeling better after being sick for over 2 weeks, and now I have whatever she had. It's miserable. I don't think there's any way Gabe is going to avoid getting it, but I can dream.
In other news, Gabe has a massive ear infection. Seems like for any of my weekly updates, I could just refer you to a previous week. 1. We don't sleep. 2. Gabe has an ear infection. RINSE AND REPEAT.
Personality. Hmmm. I think Gabe is and is going to be a generally happy guy. I also think he's going to be a bulldog; singularly focused on what he wants and perhaps a bit careless in his pursuit to get it. His new thing is to throw is head back and scream when we take something away from him or take him away from somewhere he wants to be. That should be nicely developed by age 2. Right now our strategy is to just ignore it. He doesn't get any attention for it, and he doesn't get what he wants. We'll see how effective that is.
He's still ridiculously cute though.
Have a great week everyone!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
The boys' schooling is up in the air for next year, which is causing great strife and heartache if we are making the right decision for them.I know it will all work out, but damn, this is hard.
QOTD: My kids are night and day. Such different temperaments and interests that it is sometimes amazing they get along as well as they do. Carter is our extrovert. He hates being by himself and talks incescently - mostly about sports and video games (oof.) And his new passion is Knock Knock jokes that he makes up and thinks are funny - but aren't. :P He is a gentle soul who loves to snuggle and if he thinks you are upset with him, will need physical affirmation that everything is okay. Gray is more of an introvert and enjoys being alone (as well as being with people) - but he needs downtime. He is more serious than his brother and more mature/less silly. He follows rules pretty closely. He is L's mini-me.
@ATXmommas the tubes are supposed to provide a new drainage path for any fluid collecting in the ears, which would typically drain down through the sinuses. Let me tell you, they sure do work! Gabe has crap draining out of his ears on a daily basis. In theory, infections typically happen (or at least this is my basic understanding) when fluid is trapped in the ear. The fluid gives the bacteria something to grow on. Because that fluid can now drain, ear infections should, in theory, stop. But I guess it's not unusual for kids to continue getting them anyway. Of course now the infection just drains right out of his ears ... disgusting.
So I guess we have a 50% win. He no longer has fluid trapped in his ears and he isn't in pain from that pressure. But we've had no relief from the actual infections. There is one other positive though, now that he has the tubes and therefor a clear path into his ears from the outside, we can treat infections with drops rather than oral antibiotics. That's a definite plus!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
We had a great weekend. I worked in the city (San Francisco) for about seven hours each day and EV was home with Kaden. I may not have come home to a clean house and dinner on the table but Kaden and EV had a great time together and that's what counts. ;-) I fell behind on things like laundry, etc. that I usually get done on the weekend and spent Sunday afternoon and yesterday playing catch up. I love my little gig though, and being in the city. I miss Kaden while I'm away but EV sends me lots of pictures and videos and its only for a couple of days so... :-) What I really miss is our little stolen family moments together. Even when EV is doing homework all weekend we get some time to laze around or go to the park together.
Kaden is doing great. I've stalled on the potty training this past week, and haven't been offering the potty and communicating as much. I did get some training underwear and plan on working on helping him learn to get dressed and undressed. Hopefully I can start focusing on that today.
Other than that we're doing pretty good. Except for the random toddler behaviors. He's cut down on throwing things in the house. I bought a really cute melissa and doug ladybug ball, it bounces a lot and we throw that outside, and practice "only throwing balls outside". Of course as I say this he is throwing little wooden screws from his toolbox around. LOL!! Spoke to soon.
His voicing of preferences is emerging and he says "ah me" (which means for me, or mine) and "nooo" and "yes" with a deliberate point, frown or smile. It's really quite cute. We work with him to be able to have his preferences, but don't give into "demands" or inappropriate things (like yesterday's oreo milk shake he wanted sooo badly).
QOTD: Kaden has a very charismatic personality, he charms people with his smile, laugh, etc. We literally get stopped 10 to 20 times every time we go anywhere - people just adore him. The KD is a friend and is also the most outgoing and friendly personality I've ever met. I think Kaden has a strong dose of that, mixed with unique bits of EV and me. Kaden loves other kids and people. I was telling EV last night that I really think he's the type of kid that will be really happy with siblings, since he's such a people person. I think he also has a bit of a stubborn and determined side. He's definitely strong willed. Finally he's very emotional. He's a Cancer. He feels big feelings and has to take the time to move through them. EV and I are both Aquarius and more in the thought realm so we work on reminding ourselves to make room for his feeling nature.