Mother in law making me crazy.

micmash · March 2014

Anyone else going through this? We just told them on Valentines day and already is over stepping every possible boundary. Trying to just let it roll off my back.

springbeduk2 · March 2014

Oh dear .... is this in character for her or is she maybe just a little over-excited about the new news and will calm down (or could be convinced to calm down if you and/or your husband talks with her)?

I can't really offer advice - just sympathy - but if you want to feel not alone in this there are a TON of MIL stories/rants on various bump boards ... you might find helpful advice or at least will know you have lots of company and maybe even find comfort in not being the worst off ... maybe?

ETA: I have to knock on wood big-time that so far my MIL has been very nice and appropriate, but ... she will be coming (from another country) and staying with us for almost 6 months, starting in 1 month, so ... if she starts over-stepping or otherwise making me crazy I'll be venting here too!

SurpriseAt39 · March 2014

My MIL was super crazy last pregnancy overstepping every boundary, and even now with DS being 15 months old.

However, she's only slightly crazy this pregnancy (I'm surprised she isn't more loco since my due date is the day before her birthday).
We didn't even tell the ILs I was pregnant until I was 6 months and I'm due in about 10 days now. --and they live 15 minutes away

I've been able to avoid her a great deal, despite seeing her once a week to baby sit DS while I work.

As PP said, you can find MIL stories everywhere... Best of luck...

OutdoorGirl10 · March 2014

So far one MIL is fine, she's far away and has never been one to get too involved in our lives. The other one is super excited, and I try to remind myself of that. She hasn't quite overstepped bounds yet but she has made lots of comments where she's making lots of assumptions about how involved she's going to be once the baby arrives. Might burst her bubble a bit if/when I have to remind her that my own mother will be there too and I'd prefer to go to her first.

rcbuko · March 2014

I sympathize. My MIL, while every nice, drives me insane and has crossed many boundaries. My advice would be to try to nip it in the bud before she thinks it's appropriate to continue crossing boundaries. I let a lot of stuff go for a long time and now am bitter and resentful of how things are. I have finally put my foot down but it is a work in progress to make things the ways want them to be. My situation is worse since my MIL has been the caregiver for our children and my husband has become very used to the way things have become. I actually put my foot down so firm that once I go on maternity leave, she will not be our caregiver any longer. The new baby will either be cared for by DH and I assuming we can finagle our work schedules or the baby will go to daycare. Good luck.

Beachgal72 · March 2014

OutdoorGirl10 said:

She hasn't quite overstepped bounds yet but she has made lots of comments where she's making lots of assumptions about how involved she's going to be once the baby arrives. Might burst her bubble a bit if/when I have to remind her that my own mother will be there too and I'd prefer to go to her first.

This for me exactly!

My MIL has hardly even acknowledged my existence for the last 9 years I have been married to her son and suddenly she acts like she is in the running for Grandma of the year. She keeps mentioning that this is her only grandchild as if it gives her some special rights. This is the only grandchild for ALL the grandparents yet my parents are not acting like they can horn in on our lives now. MIL has also announced "I'm going to give you one day a week!" but that is never going to happen. She will be in for a rude awakening when the fantasy she has in her mind gets pulled back down to reality. Don't get me wrong, I am glad she is happy and excited but she adds nothing but stress and misery to our lives.

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