Going crazy

RK125 · March 2014

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Pedi says at 4 month appointment to start getting her out of her swing and into her crib. She was sleeping great in her swing. Now she sleeps like shit in her crib.

Pedi says "toughen up mom". Don't rush in every time she cries. Give her an extra minute to figure herself out. Tried an extra 30 seconds. Takes 45 to calm her and get her to settle.

Pedi says if we keep doing what we're doing she develop bad habits...I hear "you're not doing it right".

So now it's 2 am. I have a wide awake baby. I'm in tears, have yelled at her for not sleeping, and just feeling plain awful about my ability to be a good mom.

Sorry. I just needed to get it out.

BlondieBia21 · March 2014

Hang in there. Ignore pedi. Do what you have to do to make it work. You're a great mom! All babies learn at a different pace, don't feel bad lo isn't comfortable in crib. It'll get better.

lkobriant · March 2014

Oh my God I could have written this a week ago!! Seriously, ignore the pedi. Do what feels right for you and her. Will she have to come out of the swing? Eventually, yeah but she'll let you know when. You are not doing it wrong!! As long as that baby girl is healthy, happy, and loved you're doing everything right!

I've had to develop a mindset of taking what I think is helpful from the pedi, books, etc and letting go what isn't going to work for me.

LEMSA · March 2014

Hello. You live my life. The worse day of my life is when my swing broke...it won't away anymore!! But he still likes the recline of the seat over the flat of the bed.

We do the best we can every night. If it means the swing, then we swing (minus the sway now), if it's crib 1/2 of the night then swing the other 1/2, we do it. If it's cosleep for all or part of the night...we do it.

I know it's probably bad and creating "bad habits," but if we get rest (LO & I), the next day is much more bearable

Hang in there and do what's right for your family.

Rowcate · March 2014

I have been there as well. Please don't let the pedi get you down. You do know best. I do whatever I need to do to get the most sleep. He needs it. I need it. Follow your own instincts and hang in there. I am with Lemsa, right now its half the night in the crib, half cosleeping, and it has turned out to be the best method to get us the longest stretches. Good Luck!

carrotcake06 · March 2014

This is pedi advice. Take it like you would any other advice and then do what you feel is right.

She may not be ready to transition to the crib yet. It's okay to try it and then go back to what works. You'll try it again later and one of those times, it'll work.

And when the pedi asks you how it's going, smile and nod and say "just fine".

Caz1221 · March 2014

lkobriant said:

I've had to develop a mindset of taking what I think is helpful from the pedi, books, etc and letting go what isn't going to work for me.

I totally agree - it was really stressing me out trying to reconcile all the seemingly contradictory advice I was getting from pedi, books, friends, family, internet, etc. Once I got comfortable taking what actually sounded helpful and realistic (and, most importantly, what would fit well with LO) and leaving the rest, things got much better.

For example, LO's 4-month appointment, the pedi recommended setting a time overnight (say 2 am) before which we would not feed LO if she woke up because at that age she should be able to STTN. Um...no. I did not feel comfortable denying LO food if she woke up and seemed hungry! Plus, fighting to get her back to sleep for hours when all she needed was to eat made no sense to me. So I smiled and nodded and continued to feed LO any time she woke (she always ate well, which told me she was actually hungry not just liking for comfort). Do what feels right to you!

RK125 · March 2014

Thanks ladies! She actually ended up sleeping with me last night. Come 6 am when I physically couldn't hold her anymore. You're right. It's pedi ADVICE and I should do what I think is right.

Bunnyfer · March 2014

Take it with a grain of salt. My LO just transitioned from my bed to her crib just this week. We had one sort of rough go of it, but I know if she is tired enough, she will go right down. If she screams bloody murder, she is not ready for a nap or sleep, and I attempt again in thirty min. She usually goes down after that. All I know is that since I have made the switch, she is now STTN. She woke up once last night after 4hrs, becuase DH still sleeps with her while I am working. I came home, and she was up at 2(3 thanks to DST) and I put her back in the crib thirty min later, and she is still sleeping, 7hrs so far....Babies will get there

PB102012 · March 2014

Hang in there... and what the other ladies said is completely true.... take it with a grain of salt, and do what's best for your sanity. An exhausted frustrated Mama and a tired baby is not good for anyone. I am sure she will eventually be comfortable in her crib, just not right now.

juliad2010 · March 2014

msspeedymarie said:
Mine still wakes up around 11-12, and then about 2-3 times between 1 and 6 am. I've just started bringing her into bed with me after the first wake up. It's much easier to get her back to sleep if she isn't all wound up from crying loud enough to wake me through the monitor. And if she's in bed with me, I don't have to get up. I keep diapers on the nightstand, and if she wakes up, I nurse her, and she eats well and then goes right back to sleep, or I change her and then she goes right back to sleep, and I only have to wake up half way. It's saved my sanity. There's something called reverse cycling that some breastfed babies do when they are away from Mom during the day - they eat less or sometimes almost nothing during the day, and then eat the most in the evening and overnight when they can nurse directly from mom. My kid takes most of her calories in between 5pm and 5am, and maybe only a third of them from 5am-5pm.

I've recently thought that LO is nursing more during the night. I will need to look more into reverse cycling. I EBF and am a SAHM. My mum thought it might partly be because he's crawling around and more independent so wants to be held at night more.

juliad2010 · March 2014

@RK125‌ sorry to hear you're having some rough nights with sleeping. Keep doing what you think is best because no one cares about or knows your LO better than you do.

magdalina.h · March 2014

My pedi told me to get Alexis out of our room. I smiled, nodded and went back to co-sleeping.

ashleyamberRN · March 2014

Ever since needing to switch from the rNp to the crib, LO sleeps like shit too. Lack of sleep makes everything feel so much worse! You are definitely not a bad mom!!

P.s. Why can't they make rNp's for bigger babies?! Would that be so hard? Man I miss that thing

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