STM+, does your toddler have a clue?

mamatomp · March 2014

DS2 is just shy of 22 months, and I feel like he has no idea about this baby. I try to talk to him about it and reference my belly. We've shown him ultrasound pictures, asked him if he wants us to get a new baby, etc... He seems to have no clue and I'm afraid he's going to be in for a RUDE awakening, as he is a total mama's boy and does not like sharing my attention... Do you moms with toddlers think they know what's going on at all? I'm not very big yet so he's not really able to relate the whole big belly thing... Not sure if there's another way I can talk about it with him? Maybe a book we can read together?? Help!!

drunkenhandstand · March 2014

My 3 year old doesn't even get it. He understands what a baby is, he knows there is a baby in my tummy. But the whole concept of him being a big brother and a baby coming to live with us - completely clueless. My 5 year old fully understands and he helps my 3 year old out with understanding what's to come.

unaveragejane · March 2014

DS is just shy of 21 months. He kind of knows what babies are and recognizes babies when we are out and about or if he sees one on TV. Now he will point to my belly and say, "Baby," but he will also do this to his belly, DH's belly, my boobs, my knees, etc. I really don't think he has much of a clue. I'm ordering a book or two about becoming a big brother and we'll talk a lot about how to help momma take care of the baby, but I think it's just going to be something he has to experience to "get." As sweet-natured as DS is, I fully expect that we are still going to have some awesome 2-year-old tantrums when the new baby arrives b/c he's had me all to himself for so long.

ETA I do think this would be WAY more traumatic for him if DH had the role of mom, though. DS thinks he hung the moon and squeezes between us if I even try to sit next to him on the sofa!

abchittam · March 2014

Not the slightest! He lives in his own little world. He is 21 months if that matters.

LyndseylovesHugh · March 2014

Nope, no clue. She is just shy of 18 months and I think that concept is far to advanced for her. She knows what babies are, and she loves them, but I havent even tried to explain to her that one will be coming to live with us. I am sure she will need to take some time to adjust, but I know once she does she will love her little brother so much.

yurmom · March 2014

No no clue, she'll be two this month. People are constantly asking me if she's excited. They seem in disbelief when I tell them she has no clue,

JAMPUP · March 2014

My just shy of 2 1/2 year old says mommy has a baby in her belly and knows what a baby looks like but doesn't have any clue he has a younger brother just shy of 18 months but was so young never knew life alone hoping they distract each other so the jealously doesn't get out of control

rattlecanqueen · March 2014

My son is almost 3 and I think he is starting to get it, but not really. We talk about it a bunch, about how there's a baby in my tummy and he's a brother, what his name is. But it hasn't been until recently that we've gotten that there's an actual baby...at first I had baby Jesus in my tummy (around Christmas), kittens riding bicycles, chips, and penguins. But I'm pretty sure he thinks this baby is microscopic, as he keeps saying he's a teeeeeeny tiny baby and shows with his fingers "this big"

flmomof4 · March 2014

DD is 2 and a few months and she totally gets it. She knows she's getting a sister, that she lives in my tummy, and that her name is Caroline. We've been having her help pick out clothes, toys, and things for the nursery to help make it real. She also loves reading her big sister books. I think it'll be tough when the baby is actually here though as she has told me that daddy can hold the baby and mommy can only hold Evelyn.

sugarie93 · March 2014

My daughter just turned 2 and a half and is super into this pregnancy. She talks to my belly and kisses it all the time. She talks about baby brother constantly and has even helped us name him. I have been between names but she is positive on what his name is. Hope she is as in love with him when hes here as she is now

hcsmiley417 · March 2014

I have a 22 mnth, 3, & 5 year old DDs. They all know about. They get it. They are excited for a BROTHER! They kiss my belly, talk to him, read to him, say good night, hello, they all have an ultrasound pic and talk about him between them. They don't call him baby, they call him brother or his name Samuel. They understand that because mommy was sick before Samuel that I need surgery to get him out. They are used to me being in the hospital and so that they are ok with. They also try to count the days he is here and when shopping they love to buy things and look at things for him. They tell everyone that they are getting a brother. They rub my back and feet, rub lotion on my belly, get me a water, or a snack. They want to help "feed" Samuel. It's precious.

INmommy871278 · March 2014

DS is 18 months and doesn't fully understand. He will point at my belly and say sister, but that's the extent of him getting it. We mention the baby daily and refer to the baby and say things like pretty soon we will have another baby.

reils500 · March 2014

DS is 2 this month. When we ask him where the baby is he says "mommy's belly" & he kisses my belly. But he really doesn't get it. My plan is to get some books about being a big brother & bringing baby home.

reils500 · March 2014

Oh yeah and if we ask him he says the baby is a girl & we should name her "Bill"

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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seells · March 2014

DD is almost 4 and knows about the baby and understands that there's one in my belly. (She also knows she used to be a little baby and came out of my tummy too)

DD has cousins and have seen babies so she knows how they are little and they cry. It will be a big adjustment for her when we have one in our house but I think she'll do okay. She loves to be super involved and I think that helps a lot

mrscurlygurl · March 2014

I don't think DS really gets it. If we ask where is baby sister is, he lifts his own shirt to show his belly. I love it.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

Mine is 3 and seems to get it, though I'm not sure he realizes how permanent it is. Most days he's really excited to be getting a sibling, but there are some days when he tells me he doesn't want a baby, he wants a cat.

mamatomp · March 2014

Well I'm glad to know my DS isn't the only clueless one!! Hope he's ready for his world to be turned upside down in a few months! lol Thanks ladies!

eortman · March 2014

My toddler is almost 2 1/2. No clue! My 4 year old is super excited and has downgraded his sister to "old baby" status. When DD was born DS was 21 months and although he didn't know what to expect he did a great job as big brother. We only started having problems with the 2 at all after DD started walking and taking DSs things. But they still get along fairly well

*LrCg* · March 2014

When our 3rd was born our 2 year old & 3 year old definitely understood. However they were very involved in the pregnancy. We do homebirths and my midwife encourages the spouse and any children to be involved at our prenatal appointments. They helped with the dopler and measurments and each time we went she would explain to them what the baby was doing. We had an open door policy for birth and explained it all to them. We never had issues with any arrival of babies and I think its because they are included and involved. My current 1 year old hasn't a clue but notices my growing belly and hears the heart beat at appointments. Soon she'll feel the baby. You can't really explain it to a 1 year old but my first was the same age when #2 was born and he sensed changes and understood the new baby came from my belly.

pfeilele · March 2014

My 18 month old knows there's a baby in my belly, and when you point to a baby and say baby, he'll point to my belly. He also likes to give the baby hugs. Realistically, he doesn't really know what any of that means, and he's in for a rude awakening.

lindslalala · March 2014

DS (2yo)kisses my belly and says "my baby". But there's a big jump between that and truly understanding how much his world is going to get rocked.

Ecomom17 · March 2014

DS totally gets it. But we've been talking about him getting a baby brother or sister since last summer. He will kiss my belly and pat it and say good night to the baby. He says all kinds of sweet stuff like he's going to share his toys and his room and his bed and so on. The last few times I've asked him what he's going to do with his baby brother he says, "Share everything!" Haha. We shall see. He's been to both U/S and has heard the heartbeat a few times. He's super excited!

Oh--the sweetest thing is that he's felt the baby kick a few times and he just gets the biggest, sweetest smile! Makes my heart melt.

AutumnBonfire · March 2014

DS is 18 months and points to my stomach and says baby. He'll come over and pull up my shirt. He's been to all my doc appointments and the anatomy scan on Friday. He pointed at the screen and said baby. He now points at the ultrasound pics and then at my stomach and says baby. I don't know how much he really understands that there will be an actual baby living in this house soon.

EllaSmella · March 2014

jojobean86 said:

My 3 year old doesn't even get it. He understands what a baby is, he knows there is a baby in my tummy. But the whole concept of him being a big brother and a baby coming to live with us - completely clueless. My 5 year old fully understands and he helps my 3 year old out with understanding what's to come.

Yeah, my three year old is the same way. General concept he gets, but actual application, he's clueless.

Soon2BMrsN · March 2014

DS1 is 4.5 and very excited. DS2 is 2.5 and has no clue. He's also mama's boy so he's probably going to have a rough transition.

Kohler2009 · March 2014

My 3 year old will say there are two babies in my belly and he knows where the babies room will be, but, I think that's about it. I hope he handles this well. He is a mammas boy too!!

allardr · March 2014

DD is nearly 20months. I'd say she has some clue. We often talk about the baby, we read a lot of books too about waiting for baby and having a new baby in the house. When she hears us say "baby" she usually comes over and touches my belly.

fmb2011 · March 2014

pfeilele said:

My 18 month old knows there's a baby in my belly, and when you point to a baby and say baby, he'll point to my belly. He also likes to give the baby hugs. Realistically, he doesn't really know what any of that means, and he's in for a rude awakening.

This is similar to our situation, of course my older two kids get it since they are 12 & 8 but my 19 month old knows there's a baby in my belly and she'll hug/kiss the baby (my belly) but I don't think she realizes her world is about to be turned upside down! She's very much a momma's girl.

AKB090609 · March 2014

Nope, she's 17 months and her poor little world is going to be rocked. Luckily she won't remember it. To be honest we haven't talked about it a whole lot and her language and understanding of time are just not there yet. DH and I plan to do lots of books and that type of thing starting in late May.

Glitzyklm · March 2014

We took him to the anatomy scan so that made things more concrete for him. He asks every day to talk to the baby and lifts up my shirt and talks to my belly.

We read lots of books about new babies and talk about it often.

I still don't think he realizes that there will be a baby that lives here forever though.

Pooka8 · March 2014

DD will be 3 in July. She understands that baby sister is in mom's belly and she pretends that she has baby in her tummy. When asked to give baby sister hugs and kisses she'll hug and kiss my belly. I'm sure she has no clue how much her world is going to change, but I'm glad she is starting to get parts of it.

kmawb · March 2014

DD is almost 3-1/2 and she is aware of what's to come. She knows there is a baby in my belly (and uses my belly button as a voice conduit to him) and she is aware of what it will mean when baby comes home (e.g she doesn't want to sit in her booster seat at the table anymore because it is now baby's seat so she gets to sit in a big girl chair, etc). Of course this is mostly due to the fact that her 2 bffs (and daycare buddies) both got little sisters last summer so she's seen first hand what having a new baby around is like (one of the bffs/new baby combos are the daughters of our DCP).

mcvgal · March 2014

DS is 27 months and has no idea what it really means. He points to my belly if I ask him where to baby is. But I think he is in for a rude awakening in July

acciovino · March 2014

DD gets it but she's 3.5, so I guess she's not really a toddler anymore (

shanaynerz · March 2014

My DD is only 16.5 months. I think she has no clue, but she's definitely interested in my belly. Like she'll poke it and stuff. I think she knows something's up, but isn't sure what. I'm not sure what to do really to ease the transition! She's so little that I don't think it'll be a huge issue, like she won't remember it. I think it'll be a shock b/c it won't be all about her, but I also think that she'll be a great big sister.

emeek · March 2014

my little boy is 22 months now. he will point at my belly and say baby and he recognizes babies when he sees them but i dont think he has any idea what is coming. i worry because he gets jealous of the dog getting attention. not sure there is really a way to make someone that young understand what is about to happen. guess we all just have to hope for the best!

Stacigirl413 · March 2014

My son (21 months) maybe sort of knows I don't know.... We named the baby Aubrie (or Aubrey, haven't decided on spelling just yet). So before we named her we were calling the baby in mommy's belly "winkle" (a little nickname our son came up with). So he would point to my belly and say "winkle, I love you." Then we found out it was a girl and started to call her her name. Now when getting dressed in the morning our son points to my belly, gives it a kiss and says "hi Aubrie"

Its so super cute but I don't know if he understand the concept of a baby being in there or if my belly button has a name LOL

BW1088 · March 2014

DD will be 2 on Thursday (pardon Mama while she sobs) and she is kind of getting it. She will point to my belly when you ask her where the baby is and has learned how to say LO's name (totally darling!), but that's about the end of it. I think she's in for a big shock... which makes me a little sad because she's a major Mama's girl.

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