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Pregnant after 35
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We told our kids!

Klavanga74Klavanga74 member
in Pregnant after 35
We have a 9 and 12-year old. I was really nervous and stressed about telling our 12 year old daughter. Se struggles with life, in general, and has never been a kid who likes babies and has always asked us to NOT have any more kids. I'm so glad that it's over! Both kids were shocked. Our daughter cried, did the "why are you doing this to me", which we quickly nixed since it's not about her, but we were able to reassure her about the things scaring her about it, and answer all her questions and now she seems fine. I was afraid she'd hate me and the baby. Our son had lots of sweet questions (the cutest was if there is a person in charge of keeping track of the population that "clicks" a clock every time a baby is born so we know that there's another person in the world), and worries that were easily addressed. So relieved, just had to share!
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Re: We told our kids!

  • Melissa72777Melissa72777 member
    I'm glad you were able to address your kids concerns and sounds like it went reasonably well. Wishing you a happy and healthy rest of your pregnancy and that the kids continue to be on board with the new addition.

    Melissa

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  • shaylagirlshaylagirl member
    When we told our two boys (mine is 16, my step-son is 12) that we were going to try and get pregnant, the 12 year old was "Cool!"

    My 16 year old, however, was less than pleased.  He has ZERO relationship or contact with his birth father (by his father's choice).  So, my son expressed to my husband that he didn't think it was fair that this child would have a father when he didn't.  Which, as my husband pointed out to him "That's not your fault, nor my fault, nor your mother's fault.  I'm sorry that your father made that choice.  And I'm sorry you feel that way, but, this decision isn't about you."

    When DH and I found out we WERE pregnant, it was the day after Christmas, and we decided to tell the family so they'd know.  And, as my sister's my sounding board, I pulled her aside, told her privately and got her opinion if it would be a good idea or not.  She also expressed concern about my 16 year old finding out.

    So, DH and I pulled him aside before we told the family as a whole.  His response THEN was "Seriously mom?  Gross."  Which made me chuckle a little bit, but, while he's not exactly HAPPY about it, at least now he's, at least, resigned to the reality.

    The 12 year old.  He just thinks it's weird that I'm, literally, 2 people.  And also, he wants to push the stroller.  You know "Pop-A-Wheelie" style.  :-t  I'll cross THAT bridge when we get to it.

    I'm glad your 9 year old jumped on board....and I bet your 12 year old will too once she sees the baby.  It's hard NOT to adore an infant.  :)
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    Proud Mother to 16 year old Austin (MCJROTC Sgt., Trumpet playing "Band Nerd" and hopeful Air Force Pilot!)
    Proud Stepmother to 12 year old Josh (Baseball playing, Saxophone playing "Band Nerd" and hopeful Doctor!)
    Proud Mother to baby Kaylee (Stuffed toy playing, Adorable smiling baby and hopeful Rodeo Princess!)

     
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  • VGeeVGee member
    Good for you!
    We are 'scheduled' to tell our kids and family Wednesday.  Had to wait to have all my kids in one place, since one of our sons is away in college.  He will be home for one night and so it's our only chance. I've been losing sleep. When we told them we were preggo the with our 17 mo old, our oldest son (23yo) said that was soo embarrassing. Our 2nd son (18 and away at college) was sad that he would miss the babies first 4 years :(  This baby will be due the day classes start for him next semester and I know he would be crushed to miss the birth. I guess that's just bad timing. 
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  • 2redtulips2redtulips member
    Phew, huh? I am sorry your daughter's reaction was less-than-stellar, but it's good that you were able to talk through some things with her. 

    Your son's question is too cute. :) 

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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  • Klavanga74Klavanga74 member
    @carolineheider...good luck! I hope it goes well! How far along are you?
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  • Klavanga74Klavanga74 member
    @carolineheider...glad that it went so well and that everything is looking good! My daughter is doing all right. She's really hoping for a girl and the genetic testing I have at the end of the week should give us an answer in a couple of weeks. She's still not thrilled, but I'm hoping she falls in love when the baby comes out. Keep me posted on your family!
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