My 3.5 year old son has a very vibrant personality at home. He talks loudly, jumps around, plays pretend games, etc- overall a normal 3.5 year old.
He started preschool in the fall and they have told us that at school, he is academically way ahead (he can read some words and can write most of the alphabet in upper case) and can do simple math like 2+5, etc, but socially developing. Specifically, he will sit at the table and follow directions and participate in what they tell him to (like circle time) but he does not by choice interact with any of the other kids unless they assign him to do it or ask them to work on a joint project (like building or making something). Additionally, they say that he does not run around during play times and will just wait near the teacher and ask when class will start again. If they tell him that playing is part of the class, he will go get a ball and run around kicking it or playing on a swing himself or if someone asks him to do something he will (but he does not seem to really like being with other kids).
Much of this is likely my husband and I's fault. We live far away from our family and friends so he spends most of his time other than at preschool at home with our nanny and his little sister. He does ice skating and swimming lessons and in the summer will do soccer and we take him to kids plays, museums, etc-- but we don't generally have a lot of playdates because quite frankly we don't have many friends in the area and those we have don't have kids anywhere near our kids' ages (we are older parents).
He is a July birthday, so we are going to hold him so he will be the oldest kid in his class since he is having social issues, but we have to somehow get him to play with other kids better and to enjoy it. He is so vibrant and outgoing at home or with "big people"... his teachers agree and say that he has engaging conversations with them and seems to enjoy one of the teachers a lot and asks her questions about her day and makes conversation and asks her to play, but ignores all kids.
What can we do. I don't know who to have play dates with because we don't know anyone.
Thanks in advance.
Re: How to encourage making friends? Long
My middle son at 3 and a half was a loner. He watched a lot and he has an older and a younger sibling. He is now 6 and while has a few friends he is happy to be by himself. His teacher wrote in his half year report card that he does not need a fan club. But he is very happy at school.
I should add we moved 18 months ago out of state... And we have all needed to take time to meet people... Like at the park, at school, at an activity.
Thanks both.
Auntie Mod- what if any signs did you notice at home? Did he have a completely different personality at school than at home? I likely ignorantly thought that if a child was showing empathy, is loving, super talkative, etc-- that any social issues would likely be another problem, but it sounds like it could be autism?
I would love to get him intervention as early as possible, so I will talk to his doctor at next apt.
I'd arrange play dates with his classmates or other children his age (or just slightly older). I'm sure you could get a class list from his school...maybe even from his other activities. It sounds like he could benefit from more one on one time with other kids.
Have you talked to his teacher and/or his ped about your concerns?