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DD2's First Birthday (NWMR)

mae0111mae0111 member
in Working Moms
So I posted last week looking for advice about whether or not to invite my sister and her family for a casual birthday gathering for DD2. We've got a history, but I ended up inviting my other, single sister, and DH's brother and family were available and willing to drive 1.5 hrs for it, so I extended the invite to her and her family (6 people total, 5 of whom should be treated as adults for a food head count). Her response was this: "We won't be around until later. {Niece} has a game until 4, and {Nephew} has a game at the same time. {Niece and BIL} would come straight from the game, but it's the last game, so they may go out as a team afterwards." So my question is this: would you have planned for them to come? Or not? I am really interested in opinions here. Thank you!!
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Re: DD2's First Birthday (NWMR)

  • ccamccam member
    It sounds like they won't be there. So I wouldn't plan for it.

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

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    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

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    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

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  • mae0111mae0111 member
    So the party was yesterday, and I read it as, "we will try to come, we may not all be there." I didn't have to make reservations, but I was ordering food. I was trying to figure out if I should order for 6 adults, or for 11. I ordered for 11, and they didn't show up. I found out after dinner that she had told our other sister that she wasn't coming earlier in the day. Other sister didn't mention it because she assumed I knew. I guess based on her response, I should have?
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  • shannmshannm member
    No, I would not have planned on them coming.  I would have just told her, "ok, well if you can make it, feel free to stop by for a slice of cake."
    From this and other posts, it sounds like you might benefit from making these family gatherings a little more casual.  Y'know - lower your expectations a bit to help reduce disappointment.
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  • mae0111mae0111 member
    shannm said:
    No, I would not have planned on them coming.  I would have just told her, "ok, well if you can make it, feel free to stop by for a slice of cake."
    From this and other posts, it sounds like you might benefit from making these family gatherings a little more casual.  Y'know - lower your expectations a bit to help reduce disappointment.
    You're right. This was kind of my last attempt. I did try to keep it casual, but I ended up with twice as much food as I needed. My vision is clouded when it comes to this sister, and I'm angry that she did this again. She cancelled on Christmas last minute as well, so we planned for 6 adults that no-showed. It seems like, based on the responses, that I'm wrong to feel this upset. It's good to know.
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  • jf198400jf198400 member
    I probably wouldn't expect them to show but I also would have ordered enough food just in case. It also depends what time the part was. If party was say 2-6 and they weren't going to be arriving until well after 4, probably wouldn't expect them. If party was 4-8 then I would have been hopeful that they'd show up.
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  • mae0111mae0111 member
    jf198400 said:
    I probably wouldn't expect them to show but I also would have ordered enough food just in case. It also depends what time the part was. If party was say 2-6 and they weren't going to be arriving until well after 4, probably wouldn't expect them. If party was 4-8 then I would have been hopeful that they'd show up.
    The party started at 4. So I thought she was indicating that the folks at the game ending at 4 would come over after. They would have been 20 mins late, max. I offered a place to shower, she said it wasn't necessary. Oh well. I will know better next time. I sent the other party guests home with dinner for tonight, and we froze a bunch of stuff.
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  • VORVOR member
    I would have taken that as "don't expect us". And if I was confused and would be upset to order food and they didn't show up (as you are), I would have tried to clarify, then.
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  • thedashthedash member
    Her response is unnecessarily long and confusing, but I read it as a no, they are not coming.
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member

    I read it as she didn't confirm that she wasn't coming.  In which case I would have ordered enough food for her.  And I would have been seriously annoyed by her response. :)


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