November 2012 Moms
kangtini
member
Always wanting to be carried
kangtini
member
Anyone else have LOs that always want to be carried despite being able to walk? Is this just a phase? Any suggestions on how to encourage more independence?
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Re: Always wanting to be carried
Her pick-me-up periods coincide with disruptions in my work schedule and her physical condition (i.e. she is really tired, she is sick or teething). It is worse in the morning, when I am on my way out the door to work. This past week, I've taken to setting her up with Raffi songs on youtube, and saying goodbye while she is happily swaying to music etc.. It's the only way I can get out of the house.
All of that said, I can't really deny her when she wants to be picked up. I'm not around as much as DH, so I try to give her whatever attention she wants at needs when she asks for it. When she was tantruming a lot I read an article that described the sense of betrayal and frustration that a child her ages feels when she is tantruming as similar to the sorts of feelings an adult who has discovered their partner cheating might feel. It was really heartbreaking to think of her feeling that way, so if she asks to be picked up or to walk me around the apartment or force me to walk up and down the stairs a dozen times, I do it - because she needs me to, it doesn't do any harm and I could use the exercise.
...but this is all deeply tied to my guilt about returning to work so early, and having work hours that are very stressful for her.
While she wants to be held a lot right now, she does do lots of other things independently, in part because we ask her to get her shoes, pick out clothes, brush her own teeth, hold open cups, wash her hands and face, find books she wants to read. The other day I was skyping with my parents and she left us. I found her in the bedroom, sitting on my bed (which is temporarily on the floor) and flipping through a book. I recently taught her to eat edamame out of the shell and throw the pods in the garbage on her own - and she loves to do it. We have a few pieces of light furniture we let her move around (ottomans, mainly) and arrange. When she is feeling well and my schedule is normal, she is unstoppable and content to spend time alone. This phase of needing to be picked up all the time will pass. Provided you give your LO lots of other things to do, they'll be cool.