Natural Birth
lalaith50
member
When OB's advice is different from doula's...
lalaith50
member
What do you do?
I REALLY want a natural birth. I know my OB is supportive, but she is also "medical," and I suspect her first reaction if anything is possibly going wrong will be to c/s the baby out, ya know? I also have an extremely experienced doula (she has seen literally hundreds of births,) so she takes her job very seriously and has seen all kinds of scenarios. Also, I realize OB's don't really "labor sit," so they never really see the entire natural labor process, whereas the doula does, so she knows what's "normal" in a natural birth and what's not.
--My OB seems to think that b/c I'm 38 weeks and already a few cm dilated, that I need to get to the hospital fast, b/c that means I'm going fast. My doula thinks that there is no way a FTM is going "fast;" rather it will be at minimum hours and hours. My OB acknowledges that usually she tells moms who want to give birth naturally to "labor at home as long as possible" bc she recognizes the difficulty of doing that in a hospital, but for some reason in my case she thinks being dilated already means an extra-fast labor? But I don't know why my doula is so convinced that basically FTM's "never" have a short labor... my own mother's first labor was approximately 4 hours, and I've certainly heard other stories of similar! I'm just terrified of not knowing when to go to the hospital, especially with my family history of a short labor.
--My doula thinks that having an OP baby (which I currently have) is terrible and will for sure make labor even longer and more difficult. My OB thinks that is no big deal and babies turn during labor all the time.
--And finally, my OB thinks that if my water breaks I need to come to the hospital immediately (I think she is saying that b/c that means I will go extra fast from that point on?) But my doula says to not even call until I really am ready to go and contractions have really picked up. (bc once you call and say your water has broken, they tell you that you have to come in, then you are on the clock.)
Thoughts? Either on these specific issues, or on the general question of "what to do when an experienced doula's advice contradicts the doctor's...?"
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Re: When OB's advice is different from doula's...
If your water breaks, the big risk your OB is worried about is infection. You need to do your own research about this and decide your comfort level. Your feelings about this may be influenced by your GBS status.
FWIW, my water broke with LO3 and contractions didn't start for 48 hours. My MW and I were comfortable waiting it out. I took my temperature regularly to monitor for signs of infection. And, just as important, put nothing in my vagina. Even one cervical check increases the risk for infection. I ended up having my third amazing HB.
You won't know if you will have a short or long labor until after the fact.
As for differences in opinions from your OB and doula, you are going to have to listen to both and make up your own mind based on your own research and what you believe to be in your (and your LOs) best interests.
My mom had 3 c-sections so I didn't think about family history. I found out after my son was born that both of my grandmothers' first labors were under six hours. I would pay more attention to your own family history than to what is typical of first time moms. That's just my experience.
As for knowing when to go to the hospital - you will know. That's annoying to hear but really, a change happened in me that is hard to describe. One minute I was telling the nurse that I didn't want to come in because my water had broken and I didn't want to be on the clock. The next minute I was packing a bag between contractions and waiting by the door for my husband to get home to take me. There was no question. It was time.
A posterior baby may very well make labor more difficult. But your OB is right, too. It is common for posterior babies to turn in labor. If you are having a difficult labor your doula should be able to show you what positions to labor in to encourage the baby to turn.
Bottom line is do your own research. Be educated. Then, you can be confident in your choices and it won't be what your OB wants vs what your doula wants. It will be what you want.
As other posters have written, some first time mums can go as quickly as 2 hours from first contraction to baby's birth.
Is your doula certified through any training association? It seems as though she may be practicing outside her scope a little.
As a doula I can completely understand that your doula might have background info about your OB, or might truly wish for the best birth outcome possible for you. However, she must acknowledge that her opinions cannot contradict a health care provider's. She needs to be supporting you to have confidence in your health care provider, and supporting you with ways to ask questions that get you the information that you need.
As far as the rest, here's my take:
-FTMs absolutely have fast labors. It is not the norm, though. Mine with DD went from 'hm, I think that was a contraction' to 'it's a girl!' in less than 10 hours. DH practically begged our doula to come over at hour 8 of 10 because he said I was hysterical and he didn't know what else to do. Uh, yeah, because I was in transition and freaking out that I was going to deliver in my bathroom! She took one look at me and said 'let's go' and we were at the hospital 90 minutes before I delivered.
-Laboring with an OP baby is indeed painful, but it certainly doesn't mean your labor will be long. Your doula should know full well that babies can change position during labor.
-It is entirely possible you will want to go to the hospital *before* your water breaks. Mine didn't break until my midwife broke it manually 20 minutes before DD was born. Be up front with your OB and tell her you don't necessarily feel comfortable coming in before you feel 'ready' and ask her what her plan is to support your wishes to have a med-free, low-intervention birth if you show up and are not in active labor. Or would it be possible to go to the hospital and walk around/not check in right away?
Married: October 2008
Married: October 2008
As a doula myself I never provide advice to my clients, I provide them with information that allows them to make informed decisions.
I think your OB and your doula need to back off a bit and let this labour play out as it will. Most women I've worked with "know" when they feel they need to head to the hospital, it may not be as late as others but sometimes they feel more secure being there even in early labour. It all depends on your comfort level and situation.
Doula, Placenta Encapsulator, Childbirth/Lactation Educator
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Baby #3 EDD Aug 6/14