Terrible Night

laurblum · March 2014

Sorry if this is long!!!!

Last night I had a full on panic attack which I have never experienced before. It was terrible. I couldn't breathe, was hyperventilating, gagging, dry heaving.. I have never felt so out of control in my life. What set me off was a painting project I was trying to do by myself, which I know was stupid of me to attempt, but I had the overwhelming need to have it finished. So, I'm having company this weekend from out of town because Sunday is my shower. DH and I have been working hard the past couple months to get the house in order for baby, just finishing up projects here and there and mainly a lot of painting. The basement bathroom was the last of the rooms to be painted and had kept getting put off, but absolutely needed to get done this week. If the walls in there were still just plain white I would have said screw it and just left it alone till later, but we had painted a bunch of swatches in there so we could pick colors, so the walls were all blotched up. This is the bathroom that the guests would be using so I didn't want to leave it like that. So I go to Home Depot yesterday and buy the paint, I tape and prep the room etc. I started painting around 10pm, also SO STUPID! I figured it was such a small bathroom it wouldn't take me too long. I start by cutting in around all the trim and was just holding the sample cup because it was easier to carry and maneuver around the room. Once I finish I go to roll the walls with the gallon I bought and after coating just a small section I see that it doesn't match all the trim work I just did. The paint is a different color. I check the lids to look at the numbers and sure enough they are different. I fucking lost my shit. Somehow I manage to get upstairs to my room and by this point I am in the full blown panic. I scared my two pugs and DH. He tried to help me, but I was gone. I got in the shower to calm down and once I did of course I start worrying about the baby. I have never had this happen even before pregnancy so I didn't know what could happen. Once I finally laid down I just waited to feel the baby move. She started kicking and then was moving around like crazy.. I am going to call my doc today just to be sure she is fine. I have never felt her move around so much for such a consistent amount of time. She was incredibly active. Maybe I "scared" her too? I don't know. All I know is it was the most terrible feeling I have ever experienced during this pregnancy.

To top it off, the reason DH wasn't helping me in the first place is because he had to get up really early to travel for work today. I absolutely hate when he is gone. I don't like being alone at night. I don't know why, I just have always hated it. I guess I can never relax and even though there is no reason for me to feel this way I just don't feel safe. I can't wait till he gets home. It's also getting hard to do the normal household things by myself, especially taking the dogs out. Its hard for me to get down on the floor and put their leashes on and stuff. Hopefully this is the last trip he has to go on while I'm still pregnant.

I guess today I will be heading to Home Depot to pitch my fit.. They need to at least match a new gallon to the existing sample. Then I get to come home and attempt to fix this mess. Ugh... Whyyyyyyyy!!!!!

Jennyinheaven · March 2014

Sorry, deep breaths, worst thing that could happen is your bathroom doesn't get finished, big whoop, people will understand

Cupcakes89 · March 2014

Deep breaths for sure. I've been having on and off panic attacks since I was a teen and when they first showed up I'd just take deep breaths and use cold towels on my face cause I overheat during mine. It's best having someone to talk to also.

Nowadays "the past couple years" I take meds to control mine but my panic attacks have never seemed to harm the baby. She does seem to maybe get a bit quieter perhaps... maybe cause I'm breathing fast and sometimes hyperventilating from crying but so far she is a healthy little gal. I've heard babies can get startled from loud noises and what not but are fine.. just quiet for a little bit. Just watch her movements and I'm sure she will start up again soon (her normal amount of tmoving)if not it doesn't hurt to ask your doctor.

That+One+Girl · March 2014

I'm sorry that happened. And glad you are better about it now.
I agree with jenny, if I was a guest at your house and the bathroom was not finished being painted yet it would not bother me at all and I totally understand why it is not done yet. As long as it is clean and I can get my big pregnant butt in to pee every two hours I'm good!

motoLyn · March 2014

I'm sorry that you had to endure all that. Is there a chance that someone can come help you, or do a bit of the work for you? Also I agree, if the bathroom wasn't done it wouldn't matter to me as a guest. I KNOW you have more on your mind that painting a bathroom.

awc1986 · March 2014

I feel your pain! Hope you feel better soon. I was having palpitations yesterday because my bathroom reno has been put back a week due to my toilet & basin not being delivered TWICE, my builder slicing a tendon in his thumb and now my blind has been lost in transit.

When people tell you not to stress, it only makes you stress more. Just try not to over exert yourself.

blessednewmom1 · March 2014

Oh my goodness! Panic attacks are the worst things ever! I feel like I am dying when I have one!! So sorry!!!

laurblum · March 2014

Thank you all for the words of encouragement/support. I tried my best to just calm down. My emotions are running on high at the moment. I think that combined with exhaustion finally cracked me. I am still feeling like I could cry at the drop of a hat, but I am trying to control the anxiety over trivial things. DH is coming home tonight so that will help. He has to go away again next week, but hopefully after that he won't have to go anywhere for a while.

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