Teaching a 15 month old not to hit

Maebb · March 2014

I've asked questions before like this (how to make him be still on the changing table, how to make him not throw food), and the general response has been, "He's a baby. Relax," but anyway, I want to ask.

DS has been hitting me in the face several times a week, and I don't know if there's some way I can teach him that it's not ok. I think he thinks it's a game. I don't think he's doing it to be defiant or to hurt me, but I also don't want him to hit other kids. So far I've tried:

- holding his arms down after he does it (he laughs and thinks it's a game)

- saying "no" and "we don't hit," "don't hit mommy" really sternly, but he sometimes laughs and sometimes does it again while I'm talking to him

- putting him down immediately. I don't know if this does anything because he normally just goes to play with something else.

- putting him in his crib for a few minutes as time out. He cries, but I don't know if he's making the connection or if it's teaching him anything.

I don't want to spank him because I'm not pro-spanking, and it just seems illogical to hit him as a means of teaching him that hitting is bad. WWYD?

missyishere · March 2014

My DD is older, so our disciplinary actions are different; however, at his age, I would state simply "we don't hit mommy", put him down, and then walk away. He can associate it's not okay and that he won't be getting a rise out of you.

flyingsaucer · March 2014

I would give a stern No Hitting or NO, That Hurts and walk away. No time out. They don't get it yet

anustart · March 2014

uconnhuskie007 said:
Sean is starting to go through the same thing. I tell him "no no - do niiiiice" and make his hand do a nice loving motion where he hit (like he's petting). This might sound really stupid, but it's seemed to work so far.

This is what I do except we say, sooooft hands, I'm laughing typing this out, but, it has been effective.

theseaword · March 2014

uconnhuskie007 said:
Sean is starting to go through the same thing. I tell him "no no - do niiiiice" and make his hand do a nice loving motion where he hit (like he's petting). This might sound really stupid, but it's seemed to work so far.

This is what I did at that age.

Maebb · March 2014

Thanks for the advice! I've tried "nice hands" and "gentle," so I'll just come up with something and be consistent. I think the put him down and walk away is good too, as long as we're not in public. I'll make sure his DCP and DH know too so they can be consistent. Thanks!

Maebb · March 2014

@uconnhuskie007, I'm not mad - it was tl;dr.

I did wonder about that about the crib. I'm going to a consignment sale this weekend, so I will look for a small chair I can use for time out when he's old enough for that.

jesuisfatiguee · March 2014

anustart said:

Sean is starting to go through the same thing. I tell him "no no - do niiiiice" and make his hand do a nice loving motion where he hit (like he's petting). This might sound really stupid, but it's seemed to work so far.
This is what I do except we say, sooooft hands, I'm laughing typing this out, but, it has been effective.

For us the buzz word is "Gentle. Be geeentle." I'm not sure whether it works since he doesn't hit daily or anything.

Drea926 · March 2014

anustart said:

Sean is starting to go through the same thing. I tell him "no no - do niiiiice" and make his hand do a nice loving motion where he hit (like he's petting). This might sound really stupid, but it's seemed to work so far.
This is what I do except we say, sooooft hands, I'm laughing typing this out, but, it has been effective.

We also do that except we say, "geeeentle touch", lol.

Drea926 · March 2014

I answered before I read the other "gentle" responses. :P

Maebb · March 2014

Been trying for maybe 3 weeks because that's how long he's been hitting. He hits maybe 4 times a week. I'll just keep trying and be consistent.

RayRay007 · March 2014

I would probably grab the hand mid-action to stop it and say no, we don't hit very sternly, and walk away or otherwise stop what you are doing. It will take a few times to get it. If they think it is a game, you definitely have to be stern about it IMO.

RayRay007 · March 2014

That being said, DD is turning three and is sure testing her boundaries lately so I have been more stern with her lately. I probably wasn't when she was 15 months. Redirection and consistency is key.

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