Family Vacation Etiquette - advice needed ASAP

jenner77 · March 2014

Ok I know I haven't posted in awhile but I seriously have no one else to ask this, so I apologize. Here's the situation:

DH and I are going to Atlanta (2 hours from here) in May to meet up with my sister, her husband and their son for his 5th birthday. My Dad & Stepmom will also be there. We are all trying to get rooms in the same hotel close together so we can be together. The trip is centered around my nephews 5th birthday. My sister is coming from Florida & Dad & stepmom coming from North Carolina. We are all meeting there.

This morning DH texted me & told me that his nephew, nephews wife & 4 yr old daughter want to come on this trip. (I think DH invited them). DH's nephew & his family have never met these members of my family.

Isn't this weird? DH says I am overthinking the situation. I feel weird bringing another family with us that have never met my family to participate in birthday celebration. We are paying our own way for everything and nephew would pay his own way so money is not an issue here.

Am I crazy or is DH right?

twinkletoes3126 · March 2014

I agree with you.

Jeffreysmom24 · March 2014

Yep, I agree with you. Everyone is traveling to Atlanta and the main purpose is the bday celebration - it would be weird and awkward to have another family there that your sister's family hasn't met. You will feel obligated to hang out with them and will they be invited to the bday lunch or dinner or whatever is planned to celebrate? That isn't really fair to your sister's family if they don't know them. Can you see if your DH's nephew can plan a trip with y'all at a different time? Or if they do end up coming, you should definitely talk to your sister in advance and explain the situation which I am sure you were planning to do anyway. Good luck!

exc1tedforbaby1 · March 2014

I agree with you. However, knowing my SO. His thinking probably was that the kids are around the same age and could play and entertain each other...

jenner77 · March 2014

We get there on Saturday, doing Georgia Aquarium & whatever else they have planned (nephews actual b-day is Sunday) on Sunday. I know she mentioned birthday cake but I don't know where that will take place. We are paying our own way to Aquarium and room and any meals. Totally on our own money wise. On Monday, my Dad & stepmom are taking nephew back home with them to NC and we are all going to see Walking Dead filming locations. Lol. Not sure if they even watch the show. It's so unlike DH to do something like this. I doubt their 4 yr old would be interested in the Monday activities lol.

exc1tedforbaby1 · March 2014

Mine will just connect two things. Example. A friend of mine [that he has become friends with] and him were talking about a local pizza place they both love. I've never been there. We make plans to have a little double date there next weekend. Then later he says to me 'oh jay [his man bff] loves it there. I'm going to invite him' uh. What? The other two don't know him... I said no and I'll bring him home my leftovers.

ccam · March 2014

I agree with you - its weird.

SJandVA · March 2014

Short answer, yes I think it's weird. Although It wouldn't really bother me. I guess it really depends on your family. Are they outgoing and don't really mind meeting new people? Why did DH invite them? Is it a chance to see them when he normally wouldn't be able to? Also, your DH should have asked you first.

jenner77 · March 2014

Ok so the thing about this side of my family is that I only recently started having a relationship with them. I never met my Dad until I was 16 (I'm 36) and we only recently really started having a close relationship. Same with my sister. I've only met her husband twice.

Just got off the phone with DH and he completely does NOT see my point. In his mind, this is a Thanksgiving or Christmas get-together and Monday is not about the birthday so what's the problem?

jenner77 · March 2014

CourtandNate said:

I will be the unpopular one, but both DH and I come from odd families. I am italian and we live by the more the merrier decree that we sign in blood lol. If it were OUR families I don't think either would bat an eye. We intermix family stuff all the time. 8 years later everybody knows everybody and we all celebrate together with whomever is available!

That's DH's thinking as well, and mine to be honest. But it's not me I feel as if I'm imposing on. Lol. When you said "the more the merrier" that is exactly like you took the words out of my mouth to describe DH. To him, we are ALL family so what's the big deal? She said "Sure, no problem. No biggie" so I am going to stop stressing about it. She's fine with it so there! And the funny thing is they probably won't come. They are notorious for planning something and then cancelling at the last minute.

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