Depression/Anxiety Check-In 3/7/14

notthecheat · March 2014

How's it going? How is everyone coping?

notthecheat · March 2014

I am still struggling with returning to work. My schedule has been a little lighter lately (32-34 hrs/week) so that has helped a LOT with fatigue and missing LO, but I am supposed to be going back to 42 hrs/week so I'm slightly nervous. I spoke with DH about possibly reducing my hours to 36/week, but he doesn't think financially we can swing it. We have zero savings and a tight budget so I'm just going to have to suck it up.

fauxvegan · March 2014

I hope things get better for your both. I've felt better since the last check in. I turned in my 2 weeks notice at work and it helped tremendously. @sventurarn I'm so sorry you're not able to stay home. That has to be awful. DH and I decided it was a good choice for us. I will cook instead of eating out 5 nights week, so that will save us money. Paying for day care would take a huge chunk of my earnings so it's pointless. My issue now is family problems. My parents are splitting up and I'm stressed over it. It makes me super angry as well.

starskit1283 · March 2014

Checking in again. Been a couple weeks. I feel better than I used to and maybe that's due to the Zoloft. I still get nausea sometimes related to anxiety but the sense of doom I used to feel along with that has seemed to calm down some. I go back to work in just under 4 weeks and I'm going to start pumping to create a supply as I have none. That makes me anxious too. It's never ending. I stop having anxiety of one thing and another comes to takes its place. I'll just take it day by day :-)

noslen0519 · March 2014

Starting to REALLY stress about going back and I still have 8 weeks of maternity leave left! I'm so worried about losing my supply since I'm not going to be able to pump as often as I should (I'm a teacher). We've worked so hard and Nora finally seems to be gaining and thriving. I don't want to lose it! I'm pumping frantically trying to stock up my stash, but I'm still up at night thinking about it.

Anyone know if you can take Lexapro while nursing? I was on it till I got my BFP and I think it would be helpful to go back on, but only if it's safe...

Krilolo · March 2014

@TheFutureMrs.N I was on Lexapro and they switched me to Zoloft for during pregnancy because its been around longer so they feel its safer. (Both my OB & GP recommended that) I don't notice a difference and you would have to take a really high dose in order for it to be considered unsafe.

Edited for spelling error

noslen0519 · March 2014

Thank you!!!

Krilolo said:

@TheFutureMrs.N I was on Lexapro and they switched me to Zoloft for during pregnancy because its been around longer so they feel its safer. (Both my OB & GP recommended that) I don't notice a difference and you would have to take a really high dose in order for it to be considered unsafe. Edited for spelling error

utlawgirl · March 2014

I need ALLLLLLL the wine. Serious parenting difficulties with DD1 this week, both daytime and nighttime. I just can't anymore with this. Sometimes I can't believe this is my life... but in the end it'll all work out. I think.

notthecheat · March 2014

So glad things are OK with most of you! @utlawgirl, how old is dd1? Best of luck! I better stock up on wine now for dealing with my baby girl. She is so sweet now!

As always, *hugs* to everyone, Ts and Ps to those struggling, and PM me whenever. You are not alone and you can do this!

NurseKMM · March 2014

Hugs to all you girls this week!

I started work again this week. While I was off our surgery center switched from a day surgery center to a 23 hour ambulatory surgery center. So now, the doctors that operate there no longer have to be out of the OR by 4pm like before. Now they can do surgery whenever, so long as the patient is discharged in 23 hrs and 59 mins from the time they are admitted. Which means, because our schedulers are not allowed to turn down any surgery, a doctor can have morning cases start at 6:30 and go to 8am, go to their clinic all day, then come back and have a 3+ hour cases start at 5pm! Because we are so understaffed, there is one other OR nurse, so we end up being there all day. I haven't been home before 6pm all week. Which sucks because DS's bedtime is 7pm. We had him stay up until 8pm last night, just because I wanted to hold him longer. The one plus, they will not do surgeries or pts that require a 23 hr stay on Fridays (yet).

good things this week, I love our daycare teachers! They have been nothing but wonderful! We had 3 month pictures done today, we just went to target to do them, the photographer did a great job. Hope to post some soon. I will be praying for you all this week!

Edit: autocorrect fail!

ugoglencoco · March 2014

I'm a day late and a dollar short. I've had kind of a rough week. I've been feeling very withdrawn from everything around me, except for my family life. I'm having trouble connecting with friends. I started my family young, so most of my friends are still in the not married no children phase of life. I'm feeling very alone. I've been seeing a therapist for 2 weeks now, and I feel really good after I leave there, but most of the time the next day I go back to feeling crappy. I almost feel as if I don't know where I fit into life anymore. My friends don't understand me, I don't understand them and I have no one besides DH to confide in. I almost feel like I am starting to have social anxiety. My best friends birthday was last weekend and instead if going out with a group to celebrate I just stayed home because I felt like I don't fit in. Every time I thought about going it brought on an almost anxiety attack. I don't want to lose my friends, but I feel worlds away from them all. The only time I ever feel comfortable is with family. I don't know what to do because I don't want to withdraw myself from everything but I can feel myself shutting them out for no reason. Having a major identity crisis.

utlawgirl · March 2014

sventurarn said:

So glad things are OK with most of you! @utlawgirl, how old is dd1? Best of luck! I better stock up on wine now for dealing with my baby girl. She is so sweet now! As always, *hugs* to everyone, Ts and Ps to those struggling, and PM me whenever. You are not alone and you can do this!

She's 3. And, as I am finding out, 3 is hard. She has always been stubborn, but MAN has she ever kicked it up a notch. I can't get her to do anything without a fight -- put on clothes, take a nap (always a struggle), leave the house when we need to, NOT scream at me, use polite words, etc. It's just... ugh. I love her, but she is testing my patience like whoa lately. And I just don't have the energy to deal with it in as calm and loving a way as I would like to right now. But I'm trying.

utlawgirl · March 2014

Mmc0323 said:

I'm a day late and a dollar short. I've had kind of a rough week. I've been feeling very withdrawn from everything around me, except for my family life. I'm having trouble connecting with friends. I started my family young, so most of my friends are still in the not married no children phase of life. I'm feeling very alone. I've been seeing a therapist for 2 weeks now, and I feel really good after I leave there, but most of the time the next day I go back to feeling crappy. I almost feel as if I don't know where I fit into life anymore. My friends don't understand me, I don't understand them and I have no one besides DH to confide in. I almost feel like I am starting to have social anxiety. My best friends birthday was last weekend and instead if going out with a group to celebrate I just stayed home because I felt like I don't fit in. Every time I thought about going it brought on an almost anxiety attack. I don't want to lose my friends, but I feel worlds away from them all. The only time I ever feel comfortable is with family. I don't know what to do because I don't want to withdraw myself from everything but I can feel myself shutting them out for no reason. Having a major identity crisis.

Girl, I was so there when I first had DD1. I wasn't that young even, but most of my friends were still childless. It makes it really hard to relate when your life revolves around something they don't get, and never in a million years will really understand (until they are parents themselves, at least), though they may give it a try, if they are good friends. It makes everything SO hard. Even worse, I quit my job, which had been my identity and social circle up until that time, to be a SAHM. It was bumpy.

The thing that really helped me was joining a moms group, even though I totally rolled my eyes at them before I had a baby. A good group will get you and baby out of the house and meeting new people who are going through the same stuff you are. You will certainly bond with some people you may never have given a second glance in your former life, and you may even make some lifelong friends (I did). So see what there is in your area, shop around, and find something that's a good fit for you. I know that may seem like a tall order, but if you can just make that first step and start getting out of the house, I promise it will change your life.

ugoglencoco · March 2014

@utlawgirl thanks!! This is actually baby #2 for me, and I don't know why but I never really felt this way with ds1. I think it was because I had realized that once I became pregnant most of my friends ran for the hills so I just cut them out early and was not that upset about the loss. My friends that stuck around have always been so supportive of me, and I'm sure will continue to be but their lives are just SO different. I think a lot of it actually does have to do with the fact that now I'm a (mostly) SAHM. I'm working 1 or 2 shifts a week. So while they are building their careers I'm changing diapers. Which I love, but it has totally changed everything. I don't have much to talk about besides my kids or what I watch on daytime tv. Do you have any suggestions on where to look for mom groups?? I don't think there's many around here, but I could be looking in all the wrong places!

utlawgirl · March 2014

Mmc0323 said:

@utlawgirl thanks!! This is actually baby #2 for me, and I don't know why but I never really felt this way with ds1. I think it was because I had realized that once I became pregnant most of my friends ran for the hills so I just cut them out early and was not that upset about the loss. My friends that stuck around have always been so supportive of me, and I'm sure will continue to be but their lives are just SO different. I think a lot of it actually does have to do with the fact that now I'm a (mostly) SAHM. I'm working 1 or 2 shifts a week. So while they are building their careers I'm changing diapers. Which I love, but it has totally changed everything. I don't have much to talk about besides my kids or what I watch on daytime tv. Do you have any suggestions on where to look for mom groups?? I don't think there's many around here, but I could be looking in all the wrong places!

Oh yeah, I bet that makes a huge difference. I've only done it one way.

I so understand, though. And as you probably know, it'll get easier to reconnect with your old friends once the little one is not quite so little. I know it got SO much easier for me after the first year, when I didn't necessarily have to be around at bedtime and I could go out while DH took care of things. Juggling 2 is harder... but I have to think it'll be better after the first year, too.

As for moms groups, I found mine by word of mouth, which I know is so not helpful to you.

I lived in Northern CA when I had DD1, and there's a network of moms groups called Las Madres. They are awesome. When we moved to TX, I stumbled backwards into an awesome moms running group, and through a friend there joined an email list of the coolest mamas around, who do meetups, happy hours, and you can always email questions or for just general commiseration. I don't know what area you're in, but I'd start by Googling (assume you've done that already, though), and if that doesn't turn up much, see if you can find a speciality baby/maternity store or maybe yoga studio -- often they have mom and baby groups and you can find out what's what from the experienced mamas there.

NurseKMM · March 2014

@Mmc0323 try meetup.com or your local library. Sorry you are going through this. I understand, my friends are still in the 'let's go to happy hour' phase.

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