WWJ13D? (day care question)

needanustart · March 2014

So my little sister is a FTM with a 4 month old baby girl, Lucy. She goes back to work on the 17th and started bringing Lucy to day care today to get into the routine. She picked the place months ago, but two weeks ago found out that the prime place she wanted to be in, finally had a spot open up starting May 1st for Lucy. She decided to stick with the first place for a month since she didn't have any other place lined up and was starting work anyway. Fast forward to today and she just text me that they gave Lucy water, after my sister specifically said to only give her breastmilk. She calls me hysterical asking if she will be OK and I calm her down and say she's fine, yadda, yadda, but I also tell her I would be livid. My instinct would say to pull them based on the fact that they should know babies under 6 months shouldn't be drinking water unless recommended by a doctor. And they didn't listen to her! I seriously would ask for an extension of my maternity leave or figure out a new arrangement based on this alone since she is starting at the other place in May anyway.

Am I being crazy?

WasNotWas · March 2014

If she can swing it, sure. But I would make a big deal with the director first. If this is happening with her daughter, I'm sure it's happening with others.

FTR I don't think water is a huge deal, but it's more that they didn't listen to her. Make sure that is the focus of her argument rather than the water or the point will be missed.

ASmallWonder · March 2014

I 100% understand the reaction and wouldn't blame her if she pulled her but is that something she can even afford to do? I'd like to hear more about how the situation was handled. There is nothing that can make this totally right but I'd want to understand how it happened, why it happened, know that they acknowledge it should NOT have happened and how they make sure it never happens again.

Like, I'm thinking - what if the person who did it is new and didn't know the guidance or the mom's wishes? None of that is great news but if the director explained that to me and laid out a plan something like: new people will receive xyz training and be 100% partnered with a seasoned teacher for xyz amount of time and all instructions will be written and accessible to each teacher - I would give a second shot, personally.

needanustart · March 2014

For more of a situation background it's a small in-home ('in apartment' I should say, it's NYC) daycare and it's a mother and daughter running it and doing all the work. So it's not like a ton of structure or training.
My sister makes really good money and I'm sure she could ask for more time (European company so they are very maternity leave friendly) and be fine. She just people pleases a lot of the time and I think she doesn't want to ruffle the current center's feathers OR let down her boss by asking for more time. I think she's panicking and not thinking about her priorities clearly without some help (which is why she called me). She does this a lot

BunnyLove416 · March 2014

I use an 'in-apartment' place in NYC too so I understand her feeling of not wanting to ruffle feathers. Although I think the in-home has a ton of benefits and I absolutely love the woman who watches L, it is overwhelming as a FTM to not have that structure in place of being able to go to the boss and complain. I personally wouldn't be able to take more time off so that skews my point of view a little but I would start by talking to them calming and clearly and telling them exactly her 'rules' even if she's repeating things she's already said. I'd tell them that I was unhappy that LO had gotten water and I want to be clear that it's not going to happen again. It'll depend on personalities obviously but I know my person would be horrified if I was upset with something she'd done with L and would do everything she could to change it.

In the end though I always say the same thing about daycare situation WWYDs, if you're not going to feel comfortable dropping your kid off with someone then it's time to find a new place.

BC&LM · March 2014

I would be livid as well. Why on earth would they give her water? What kind of reputable daycare does that for a kid that young?

My biggest feeding issue with daycare was them wanting to give him an extra ounce in his bottle. Small time stuff.

lioness13 · March 2014

I would be pissed but the reality is that mistakes happen and when you are leaving your child in the care of others you can't flip and leave every time something happens that you don't like. At least I know I can't. One of the best pieces of advice that I received when I was pregnant was that I would be annoyed at daycare for something regularly because they won't do everything just like I do or want them to do. But don't leave just because of an annoyance. This is a little more than an annoyance but I am sure if your sis lets them know how serious she is that things will be fine. I wouldn't leave a competent care giver just because of this one mistake.

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WWJ13D? (day care question)

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