Anyone Only Having One Child?

rsideemd · March 2014

My husband and I have been talking about whether or not we would like another child. We are leaning towards not having another one, because of several different reasons. My problem is everyone around us. I get told constantly that we need to have another child. And that it's not fair to make DD be an only child. She'll be missing out on a lot and she won't have anyone to play with. I guess I'm just getting tired of hearing it from other people. What's the problem with only having one?

myatala · March 2014

There's a One and Done board here if you'd like to connect with people who share your feelings.

There's a lot of reasons to have an only. There's a lot of reasons someone might want 2+ kids. Your kid doesn't need siblings to be a well-adjusted individual. Unfortunately people love to comment and pass judgement.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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Myaflowers · March 2014

I'm OAD and just joined the OAD board. It definitely helps to talk to people who can relate! I get asked almost daily when/if we are having another. I remind them that I had life threatening pregnancy complications and prefer not to take the risk. It shuts them up pretty fast. In all honesty, we would probably be OAD anyway because DH and I agree that our family of 3 feels complete.

this decaf life · March 2014

Definitely look at the OAD board, lots of fence sitters.

dufferoo · March 2014

I had only my daughter for 10 years and was perfectly happy. I learned to really not worry about what other people said about her needing siblings, blah blah blah. Yes, it got annoying, but sometimes I can enjoy just nodding and smiling and mentally rolling my eyes. My daughter was perfectly happy and well-adjusted, very smart, and I cherished our special relationship. My husband and I did end up having another child when our first was 10, and I then worried that that was the wrong decision, and believe it or not, people gave me a lot of flack for springing this big change on my daughter, blah blah blah. Ok, it was a big adjustment, but she's totally fine, still happy and healthy and brilliant and I still cherish our special relationship... The point is, mo matter what you do, 50% of the population will think you made the wrong decision, so you may as well do what feels right to YOU! It takes all kinds to make is awesome and diverse world, and that includes "only chikdren" as well as "ones of many." Good luck!

BLPL101 · March 2014

I'm not OAD, but I certainly understand why people choose to be. No judgement here! You need to do what is best for your family- regardless if it's 1 or many. It's only you and your DH's decision. Don't listen to the naysayers.

michelle615 · March 2014

There is no problem with having one. Do what you feel is best for you and your family. Someone will always have something to say, no matter what decision you make. It seems that someone will always think you should have kids or have more kids, or have less kids.

I agree with other posts about the OAD board. You may find the support you are looking for there.

dunlapbriggs · March 2014

There is nothing wrong with choosing to have only one child - there is something wrong with other people thinking they know better than you whats best for your family. We choose to be OAD for many reasons - one of them being the tumultuous relationship I've had with my own siblings - going to prove that more isn't always better ! It sucks that people stick their nose in and you have to defend your choices.

Suzanne68 · March 2014

Do what is best for your family. I am an only child and always wanted a sibling. Many of my friends don't even speak to their siblings. Don't do it if it's not for you. People love to pass judgement. Btw anyone I know who gets pregnant with a 3rd anyways gets told they are nuts. So, I suppose people are expected to have 2 kids. Please. People always got something to say. Their are pluses and minuses to being an only child and to having a sibling

sschwege · March 2014

Everyone has an opinion! I know it's hard but as a parent you just really have to shrug it off.

We already have two, but we are planning to have one more. I have seriously had people say to me, "Now you have a girl and a boy so you can be done!" Umm, the sex of my existing children has absolutely zero bearing on how many children we will have in the future.

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