How do I handle this?

JaQ310 · March 2014

I have a boyfriend of 3 1/2 years. We dont live together but we've been in a committed relationship although we've definitely had our ups and downs. I just found out im pregnant. Was definitely not trying. I know he does not want any kids. He already has 2 from previous relationships and in our conversations he has expressed how he has no desire to have anymore. I actually got pregnant last summer and when I told him he flipped and didn't talk to me for days. He told me if I kept it he was gone. I will be honest I had an abortion but I did it not because of what he told me but because I thought it was what was best for ME but here I am pregnant again and I dont feel that I can do that again. For now im keeping my pregnancy to myself in not sharing the news with him because I don't want to deal with his reaction which will probably be the same as last time. I dont want to be a single parent or to be left just because I am pregnant. I prefer for us to go through this experience together. I have alot of mixed emotions right now about what to do and how to handle everything.If I knew I was going to have the fathers support I don't think I would be so confused. My son will be 18 when this baby is to be born so I am also overwhelmed of starting all over again with a little one. Since this is a single parents blog I just wanted anyones input whos been thru this similar situation. Thank you

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Wait. You had an abortion because pregnancy wasnt best for you and your partner but you didnt start using protection?

Why the hell not? Also if this guy doesnt want to be a father he wont be. It doesnt matter what kind of dad he is to other kids. My bd has four other kids hes an active dad too but he wont acknowledge my ds.

So prepare for the fact if you keep this kid youll be a single parent. Cest le vie

tig594 · March 2014

In JaQ's defense, shit does happen. I was on BC for years and got pregnant when I was on antibiotics. Was a HUGE oops. With my history of miscarriage it wasn't for very long.

Anyway, forget the dude and focus on what you want and what is best for you. I am over 40 and never wanted kids and avoided them at all costs. I never thought I'd be a good mom and didn't even want to try. I thought how can I take care of another human being when I can barely take care of myself?? But now that I have the most adorable little girl ever that's all changed. I didn't like being pregnant and I had a very easy pregnancy. I'm telling you, though, once you see that baby your way of thinking can do a complete 180. She is my world and I wouldn't give her up for anything. I would die protecting her. It's YOUR body and YOUR choice. However, I strongly discourage having an abortion. Whether you were on BC or not you are not God and abortion is not a form of BC. Just my opinion. But you DO NOT need a man in your life to raise a child. Especially one like the one you have.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

You make a good point. Tig, i suppose i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning

tig594 · March 2014

I do that everyday.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

tig594 said:
I do that everyday.

Lol. My parents spent the night and i took the couch. That made for almost no sleep. Also... i feel like op reaks of mud. Especially since she didnt come back to defend herself.

tig594 · March 2014

Let me add one thing as i sit hear playing with my girl before bed. The love you will have for your child will make the love you think you have for any man pale in comparison. There really is no greater love than between a mother and her child. I wish I'd have understood that years ago.

YTLCNURSE · March 2014

I think you should tell your boyfriend sooner than later. Whatever you decide to do let it be your choice. I feel like I'm starting over as well because my daughter is 14, will be 15 in October and I'm due in May. Being a single parent is hard, but it is very rewarding. So do what's best for you.

WatchmansMoon · March 2014

I would hope that you'd also consider giving your baby up for adoption. There are so many couples out there who can't have their own children and would love to adopt a baby. Too many people today just say to abort, but that can be emotionally devastating to a woman (not to mention the devastation to the baby). You can find a pregnancy help center near you at https://www.optionline.org/ - and they can help you find agencies for adoption, or at least give you further information about it and can also help you prepare if you decide to keep the baby. Hugs to you!!

Unknown · March 2014

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JaQ310 · March 2014

Sorry all to not reply back to all your helpful comments sooner. I have 2 jobs so I dont always have the chance nor have the time to be up on a computer and quite frankly being newly prego am too tired to even want to log on after my work day is over. So to the first commentor if you felt I should of defended myself to your response and did not, this is why. But thank you all for your comments.

Unknown · March 2014

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20thirteen · March 2014

Yeah, we get a lot of MUD drive-bys, so any harsh first comments are generally if the consensus is "this person isn't coming back". I'm always open for PMing if you need anything just let me know that you PM'd me. I'm usually mobile.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Yeah, im probably the snarkiest member on this board. If posters dont come back i will call mud.

I apologize if i offended you. If i havent scared you off give us an update.

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