First night in the nursery....

jblank03 · March 2014

And thus far, it's been much rougher on me than my little guy! On Tues the ped said that 2 months was a reasonable time for him to start sleeping in the crib in his own room. She recommended we put him down and not get him for 4 hours, how long she said he really should be sleeping at a time at night (we've gotten 3 1/2 hours a couple of times, maybe close to 4 once ever). So here we are. FWIW, she said multiple times that we have to do what we're comfortable with and was by no means selling this as the only right way or anything like that.

I'm downstairs pumping and it appears that he's fast asleep in his crib with a very full belly but for some reason I still am anxious/emotional about it! Maybe because it's the first step to him getting bigger or something?

Anyone else have any transition to sleeping alone stories?

Hmvbaby14 · March 2014

I tried to transition L into his crib by doing naps in there and he would not have it. After about a week if trying I just put him in his crib at night and he went right to sleep! He's been in his room for about 3 weeks now. We had a couple nights last week with 5+ hours of sleep but have mostly hovered around 4 hours since. I still lay in bed and stare at the monitor to watch him breathe. They are just growing up so fast!!

thegosiers · March 2014

What did the pedi mean by not get him for 4 hours? Cry it out? Or just resist the mommy urge to pick him up for fussing not full blown crying?

We are looking for the bliss of 4 hours of actual sleep.

peanutmuse · March 2014

thegosiers said:
What did the pedi mean by not get him for 4 hours? Cry it out? Or just resist the mommy urge to pick him up for fussing not full blown crying?

I was wondering this too. I certainly hope your pedi didn't mean to cry it out! Also I hope you're not waking him after 4 hrs. Everything about this advice is strange to me. But I do hope you get more sleep.

FWIW, my son has been in his nursery since 3.5 weeks. He's 7 weeks today and slept for 9.5 hrs straight on Tues night and 6.5 hrs straight Wed night (nursing right now). 4 hrs straight is more than attainable for a healthy baby at this point. Heck, my little guy even has reflux and was sometimes sleeping 4-5 hrs straight prior to meds.

Good luck, mama!

jblank03 · March 2014

@peanutmuse - Wow, sounds like you've got a champ of a sleeper!!
@thegosiers
Yep, I think basically she meant CIO both to first get to sleep and if he wakes up prior to the 4 hour mark. She talked about how with her second son, he cried for 90 minutes the first night and 30 the second and how difficult it was, so yeah, I don't think she just meant a little fussing. It was basically 'deal with as much as you can handle, the baby is fine'. Definitely letting him sleep longer though if he is still asleep at that point. I'll be curious to hear your take on this advice.

Luckily, he went down without a peep. However he was awake at 2:00 crying but fell back asleep until 3:45! I however was up until about 1 because every little noise had me grabbing for the monitor. Now I'm pumping and I can hear him on the monitor fussing just a little since he wasn't completely out when I put him down.

slmille4 · March 2014

@jblank. I think it's a little young for CIO, but in a ftm so who knows. I just know my LO can't self soothe quite yet. She's getting there but hasn't quite figured out her thumb. I won't get her if she's grunting because I know it's gas but full out crying at this age seems to mean they're hungry!

Hmvbaby14 · March 2014

I agree with @slmille4 I would not be doing any CIO this young. They need to be able to self-soothe first and I know my DS is not able to do that yet.

blue_elle · March 2014

Babies cannot self-sooth yet. At this point they depend on your entirely for comfort, and I'd be very concerned that ignoring that need would harm the trust that should be building right now. Even the CIO gurus don't recommend doing it this young.

MrsW062610 · March 2014

I've had my LO in her room in the rock n play for weeks and in her crib for about a week. I agree w PPs about not letting your LO CIO yet. I do wait until she is actually crying before I get her - I let her fuss and grunt and usually she falls back to sleep on her own if she gets up in the middle of the night

peanutmuse · March 2014

Your pedi is an idiot for telling you to have him CIO this young. Period. Fussing is ok. All out crying is not. Eventually he WILL cry himself to sleep even if he's hungry. But the message you have just sent your baby is that you will not take care of one of his most basic needs.

FFS.

Lena122 · March 2014

If my pedi told me to let my 2 month old CIO I'd be looking for a new pedi.

peanutmuse · March 2014

Lena122 said:

If my pedi told me to let my 2 month old CIO I'd be looking for a new pedi.

Seriously.

@jblank03, if you are the type of person who does not do research to know that having a baby CIO at 2 months is not appropriate (which is totally fine, not everyone likes to do that kind of stuff -- some people like to be told by their pedis what to do), then you probably need to have a pedi who is a better guide for you.

jblank03 · March 2014

I could write a book on the absolutely HORRIBLE advice I have received from 2 other doctors we have taken him to. This one has phone hours in the morning, I am going to call and ask... I know she said to CIO w/ him falling asleep, which again, we didn't have to do but she didn't explicitly say that if he wakes up before the 4 hours and is really crying to not go in there, so this may be a misinterpretation on my part.

I also tend to jump up the minute he makes a peep and a few times haven't been able to get to him in his RNP for a couple of minutes and he's settled down, but I definitely want to make sure I don't go to the other extreme! Thanks everyone for your thoughts

jblank03 · March 2014

@peanutmuse - I have googled to the ends of the earth on this stuff in addition to talking to many moms, and there seems to be so much conflicting information out there, it's very frustrating. I also know that in a couple of weeks I have to return to work and our current schedule of me getting max 2 hours of sleep would not be sustainable. But thanks for making me feel like a lousy mom :P

Edit: typing fail.

ScarlettDahlia · March 2014

jblank03 said:

@peanutmuse - I have googled to the ends of the earth on this stuff in addition to talking to many moms, and there seems to be so much conflicting information out there, it's very frustrating. I also know that in a couple of weeks I have to return to work and our current schedule of me getting max 2 hours of sleep would not be sustainable. But thanks for making me feel like a lousy mom :P

Edit: typing fail.

You have a couple weeks to figure it out. I wouldn't drive yourself crazy over it trying to get LO to sleep in his crib for hours on end especially since it was his first night in there. It's something new for both of you to adapt to.

Since you said you're the type to react to each sound he makes when he's sleeping, try to cool it on that. Peek into the room and see that he's ok, then walk away. If he starts crying, and is awake, go soothe him. I'm sure once he's used to being in there, and he sees that you're still there for him, it'll get easier on him.

peanutmuse · March 2014

jblank03 said:

@peanutmuse - I have googled to the ends of the earth on this stuff in addition to talking to many moms, and there seems to be so much conflicting information out there, it's very frustrating. I also know that in a couple of weeks I have to return to work and our current schedule of me getting max 2 hours of sleep would not be sustainable. But thanks for making me feel like a lousy mom :P

Edit: typing fail.

@jblank03 -- Conflicting info on CIO this early? Yeah, I don't think so. My understanding is that the absolute earliest is 4 months, but others suggest that 6 months is the earliest. I am mobile and one handed right now, otherwise I'd do links. You definitely need to not get up for the fussiness. But waiting for 4 hours for the sake of waiting 4 hours is not the right thing to do this early. No matter how tired you are. And the poor me guilt trip ain't working with me. I don't think you're a lousy parent. I think your pedi is a lousy doctor for suggesting that to you.

ksonne · March 2014

Do not do CIO, it's too early. The earliest some recommend to start CIO is 4 months while others recommend 6+ months. The reason being, a baby crying this young is trying to tell you something, LO is hungry, or tired, or needs a new diaper, or just needs to be held by mom. And a baby this young cannot self soothe.

I can completely understand being exhausted. DS1 was a terrible sleeper, waking at least every 2 hours and sometimes every 15 minutes his first year. And I had to go to work, too.

For the next few months, you just have to suck it up.

ksonne · March 2014

You could also try a pacifier or patting and shushing him before feeding him to see if that calms him before attempting to feed him. And of course you can let him fuss a little. But if he is crying you need to respond to him.

thegosiers · March 2014

Agree with the PPs. This is far too young to CIO.

I would hope what the pedi meant by "as much as you can handle" is the fussing. It sounds like that is hard for you to ignore. It takes practice, but you can learn to ignore or at least have peace of mind when they fuss a little in their sleep. I have been working on this too, and lo and behold we have dropped a MOTN feed. I think I was too reactionary.

Good luck getting used to the little fusses and grunts. But don't let him CIO!

chicki1012 · March 2014

That's crazy, yeah I heard not to do CIO until after their 4-5 months, that even seems young. I was thinking more like 6 months.
Granted I had DS in crib since day 5 with me sleeping in recliner next to him for a week then we used a monitor.
Now I'm working on him trying to fall asleep in his crib without me rocking him to sleep.
Here's a website that I have read and that I'm trying to follow right now
https://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/issues/teach-baby-to-sleep-in-7-days/

MindyBadger1 · March 2014

I'm late, and regardless of opinion on CIO, seems like a bad idea for a first night in a new room/crib to be filled with crying and nocomfort.... then when you put LO in their room the next night you already start off in a hole. I'd establish the new room first before I tried any new sleep method or training.

peanutmuse · March 2014

MindyBadger1 said:

I'm late, and regardless of opinion on CIO, seems like a bad idea for a first night in a new room/crib to be filled with crying and nocomfort.... then when you put LO in their room the next night you already start off in a hole. I'd establish the new room first before I tried any new sleep method or training.

Excellent point, @MindyBadger1.

jblank03 · March 2014

Thank you everyone! I think I got lucky that he seemed to adjust to the crib fairly well, since after I put him down at 4:30, he slept until 7. I appreciate the advice and will definitely be conscious tonight of fussing vs crying.

As for the pediatrician, I'm going to call during her next 'phone hours' which I think is early Monday morning and get clarification on her philosophies regarding CIO. I need to remember bigger picture - even if it worked this time, if she believes in this in general it definitely isn't a good long-term fit.

Thanks again for being a great sounding board/voices of reason

sarahmarie2 · March 2014

FWIW, I know I'm late to the post. My pedi told me something similar, to push DS to 4 hours. I freaked out that I wasn't going to let him cry that long, and she explained she wanted me to not feed him for 4 hours, but to calm him immediately if he cried. Fussing can wait (and since I stopped tending to every little noise we've all been sleeping better). I still felt that pushing him 4 hours without eating was ridiculous and didn't follow those instructions, but the point is it could be a simple misunderstanding as some pp have said.

Also, congrats on the crib sleeping!

Tylynngrace · March 2014

DS has been in his own room since day 2. He hated being in our room for some reason but I still feel upset/nervous about him being in his own room. We have a video monitor which eases my mind a little but I still have vivid dreams about him being in our bed and I accidentally lose him which sends me straight into his room anyways. But I would suggest a video monitor to help with the transition for your sake if you do decide to continue trying to transition.

jblank03 · March 2014

@Tynlynngrace - We do have a video monitor and that definitely helps

I couldn't do that without it! Now I want one in the living room too (we moved the one from there to the nursery). I like being able to see him at all times if possible!

Tylynngrace · March 2014

@jblank03 I keep thinking about getting more camera's for the same reason! especially because of my of furbabies isn't particularly happy with DS living here...

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