Work WWYD?

RedZee · March 2014

To recap, I'm a software designer (I write the phone systems you talk to and hate). I asked my boss if I could work from home mostly for the first year so I could easily nurse and be near LO. I also asked not to travel much for a while. My first day back at work was Monday.

My boss just gave me a project. It's to do maintenance for a VERY large and well known system (most of you have probably called it and cursed at it). There's no travel, I can work from home, and it's for a 2 year commitment. But it's not really design work, just maintenance, and not really anything innovative. I'm also not the team lead.

The project I was working on before this was large, innovative, and I was the lead. I'm worried that I basically stalled my career by asking for these accommodations. I'm also worried that asking for something else at this point after they made the accommodations to begin with is not a good idea. I'm SO lucky that I have these options and I know it's no small thing to be able to feel like you're around young children while still having a career. I'm just worried that I won't be able to advance in the company because of it. I guess that's always the case though...we still can't really have it all.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking for. Maybe something that will just make me feel a little better about all this. It feels like a no win but also no lose situation depending on the angle. I have zero background in business so there are a lot of things that I feel kind of clueless about.

hartsl01 · March 2014

I don't really have any advice for you, but that being able to work from home for what sounds like the next 2 years is awesome. I think it's great that the company is willing to work with you but still value you enough to put you on such a big project. Does the team lead need to be able to travel and be in the office (assuming you have a central office)? Maybe that is one of the reasons they chose somebody else?

I know I'm probably in the minority when it comes to working and not being worried about moving up in my career. I know we want to have more kids and in the future I may want to cut back my work hours so that I can be home to get them on the bus in the mornings and be there when they get home. Goodness.. I hope that all came across like I meant it and not snotty.

This probably doesn't help at all, but I think you've got a great situation, you still get to work but still get to be at home with LO. To me, that sounds like a win-win.

deedee1017 · March 2014

I felt exactly the same way after returning back to work after some comments from people who do not have children (no special accommodations here though). I know I am way over qualified for my job but right now it works for me and it fits my needs as a mother.

I think it's nice that they are allowing you to work from home and travel less. Maybe another project will come up in the near future that will fit your qualifications and be more innovative. Your job might be giving you the opportunity to ease back into work.

If it's easy work, you'll get to spend more time with your LO. If you really want something more, I'd give it some time before asking for it. This way it doesn't seem like you're not grateful for them making the accommodations for you.

EmJ&B · March 2014

I'd say - if it's deft 2 years - take it and be brilliant. Looks like an ideal win to me - time with DDs and work that isn't too overly demanding.

Once you've been brilliant for two years, there'll be time for more complicated work.

Phalaenopsis · March 2014

I agree with harts, it's all about perspective. Look at it from a positive standpoint-- you get to do your job on YOUR terms. Certainly, your boss values your work to make those accommodations for you. And who knows why you aren't the lead, there may be other factors involved. Im a working mom and I find immense satisfaction at doing both. I'm not worried about advancement, etc, because I also have to raise a child. Doing both is reward enough for me.

jennlin · March 2014

EmJ&B said:
I'd say - if it's deft 2 years - take it and be brilliant. Looks like an ideal win to me - time with DDs and work that isn't too overly demanding.

Once you've been brilliant for two years, there'll be time for more complicated work.

This.

RedZee · March 2014

I'm not the lead because there's already a lead and it's not a design project - you don't need someone who makes the final decisions in the same way.

I think the complicating factor for me is that there's a really cool project that they need someone for (it's for voice command in cars, which I REALLY want to get into). It's a 6 week project that requires travel and it's for really soon.

It's true that my boss seems to really value my work and me being there and the company is very willing to work with me. It's just hard because, while I see the value of waiting a bit before worrying about advancement, it's also important that I advance in the company for financial reasons and professional satisfaction. I think the idea of just being amazing for 2 years might be the best way to go.

For many, many reasons I don't want to be a SAHM. But I do want the time with my kids and I think it's important to spend time and bond with infants and young children. I want it all!! (Except for the housework. No problems passing that on.)

megs1409 · March 2014

EmJ&B said:

I'd say - if it's deft 2 years - take it and be brilliant. Looks like an ideal win to me - time with DDs and work that isn't too overly demanding.

Once you've been brilliant for two years, there'll be time for more complicated work.

This.

PixiesDust · March 2014

I understand your hesitation and the feeling of being torn. However, given that your primary requests have been accommodated for, i think you just need to run with it and then make it known once you're finished that you would love more responsibility, lead projects, etc.

ksimo6 · March 2014

You need to decide what your priority is right now in this moment. If you want to be home with LO, then your boss has gvien you the flexibilty you need to do that. Just because you accept an assignment for 2 years that, you feel, will stall your career, does not mean you can't take on something more challenging when it is over to continue to advance. AND - if you are solely in charge of maintenance for an important account...making sure that it runs smoothly for 2 years could be a bright spot on your resume.

I am the top performer in my unit and am looking to get into management. When I got pregnant, I knew that I needed a couple of years to just focus on DD and that my ambitions at work would not be the highest priority for me. I reduced my hours to 90% and asked for challenging assignments within the individual contributer space and my employer has been accomodating. I will pick back up at work once I am done having babies and basking in them for a bit.

No matter what path you choose, know that you're making the RIGHT decision for you and your family. A happy mama makes for a happy family. If you have not read LEAN IN yet, I would recommend it. It helped me frame out what i wanted in my career and my family like at this point in time. Good luck!

RedZee · March 2014

ksimo6 said:

You need to decide what your priority is right now in this moment. If you want to be home with LO, then your boss has gvien you the flexibilty you need to do that. Just because you accept an assignment for 2 years that, you feel, will stall your career, does not mean you can't take on something more challenging when it is over to continue to advance. AND - if you are solely in charge of maintenance for an important account...making sure that it runs smoothly for 2 years could be a bright spot on your resume.

No matter what path you choose, know that you're making the RIGHT decision for you and your family. A happy mama makes for a happy family. If you have not read LEAN IN yet, I would recommend it. It helped me frame out what i wanted in my career and my family like at this point in time. Good luck!

Good advice to figure out what I want right now. I'm actually smack in the middle of Lean In and finding it so interesting...and worrying I'm leaning back.

Want a personalized experience?

Work WWYD?

Re: Work WWYD?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards