Milestones - HATE the paranoia over this subject

KellyScott04 · March 2014

Milestones annoy the heck out of me ONLY because I think our little man is just a bit behind.

He was born 3 weeks early as well as being born with bilateral cataracts which have been removed and he's well on the way to making a full recovery. Long story short, it's been a tough road as first time parents that paired with the ordeal of his eyes, we've been riddled with worry over our poor little guy.

Now I have the concern of milestones weighing on me. He'll be 7 months on March 6. He talks (obviously not WORDS, lol) up a storm and babbles and squeals and giggles and smiles big. If you lay him on his back he can roll from side to side with no issue. On his belly he can hold his head up with no help and look around. Things he doesn't do: Sit up on his own without support. He doesn't attempt to crawl but he kicks up a storm. He doesn't make an attempt to bear any weight on his legs when held in the standing position. He also doesn't reach or follow toys much at all but I'm fairly certain that has a lot to do with his vision development.

I know this is all probably ridiculous to worry over but as a first time mom, I'm looking for some advice. I have nothing to compare his development to being a first time mom with a baby that has vision impairment...of course things will probably be a little different with him.

What are experiences with your children's developmental milestones and those with more than one, do they reach milestones at their own pace at different stages?

Thanks in advance.

ASmallWonder · March 2014

What, exactly are you so sure he's behind on? Milestones are averages so he'd have to be pretty far off the mark before it would be truly evident he was behind. He seems to be doing ok to me

brachysira · March 2014

Eye problems do cause all kinds of developmental issues that in general are later overcome. That doesn't mean you can't get help. Ask your doctor. Not sitting up and not bearing weight do seem to me to be things your LO should be doing. Reaching for toys is definitely something you want to work on if his vision makes it possible. You may be able to qualify for Early On, which most people like. They will provide free therapy for whatever you qualify for. Ask your pedi for advice, but you can call yourself and get an assessment if you are in the US. Different counties may have different names and different services, but there should be something.

KellyScott04 · March 2014

Pedi thinks he's right on target with his milestones but of course being the overly paranoid mommy I sit there and look up YouTube videos of babies his age. I know, it's stupid. We are taking advantage of a free service called Help Me Grow that have developmental specialist that will help him reach any milestones he may be falling behind on due to his vision impairment. I actually work with an IT guy who had twins the same day my little guy was born and his girls aren't sitting up on their own yet either. Liam, my son, will sit up if placed that way with support but he just doesn't sit right up into that position all on his own just yet. I do realize milestones are just averages but with my situation, it's SO hard not to worry but believe me, I am trying! Thanks for the advice. I think my post was more me venting and just needing a bit of support. Hubby gets pretty annoyed when I Google milestones and bring home my concerns so I thought I'd post it to The Bump

ASmallWonder · March 2014

Oh, you think he's supposed to be able to sit HIMSELF upright? You're freaking for nothing

Sure, some kids at 7 months can do that but he's not behind. Mine just turned 9 months today and only started sitting himself up from laying down this week.

KellyScott04 · March 2014

Ok - Good. I totally get that every baby's different and they all do things at their own pace. I just need to stop Googling and YouTubing lol! Driving myself nuts for no reason.

ASmallWonder · March 2014

You've got to always remember - if a milestone is for, say, 7 months, anytime in month 7 (meaning for your LO the entire month of March) would be considered "average." That means that some kids did it earlier and some did it later and unless your pedi is concerned, there's no reason to think that doing it later is a problem unless it's MUCH later and usually accompanied by other concerns. For example. My 9 month old child has rolled a grand total of 5 times in his life. Taken by itself, that's concerning but he is meeting other physical milestones. His pedi said that not rolling is an issue if he also was making no other attempts at mobility like reaching, being on hands and knees, rocking, scooting, crawling, etc. He does all those things now at 9 months so the rolling thing is a personality thing, not a physical thing for him. Kid just doesn't like to roll

KellyScott04 · March 2014

Makes sense enough. It's funny that their little personalities play a big part in milestones. Our boy is a very "I do things my way when I want" kind of baby. It's funny. At night in his bed, he'll push his legs down and scoot himself all the way to the top of the crib yet he makes no effort to do this during play time during the day on the floor. Or, when we're making silly faces at him, he'll laugh and smile but then other times, he'll look at us as if to say "what on earth are u doing?" then look away. I'm sure I'll be less paranoid about this whole milestone once baby #2 comes along. I think my worry comes from a combination of 1st time mommy syndrome AND his eye issues. It's stressful now and then.

ASmallWonder · March 2014

You definitely get less anxious the second time around lol And the fact that he has was early and has vision problems I'm sure is adding to it for you. I really think he's doing fine though and your pedi (whose opinion obviously matters more than mine lol) I'm sure is keeping an eye on him and would let you know if they're concerned.

KellyScott04 · March 2014

ugh! Thanks so much for all the feedback

BC&LM · March 2014

Every baby develops at his or her own pace. Also, I feel like people whose babies do things early are more inclined to mention it than those who don't, so sometimes it seems like everyone else's babies are doing something when that's not always the case.

In terms of my son, he started rolling around four months, which I thought was just about average, but didn't really start sitting up by himself well until seven months, which I felt was slightly later than some. He started crawling around 8-8.5 months and just started pulling up last week. Some people on my BMB have babies who were doing things before him, but I didn't let myself stress over it!

natsko · March 2014

@kellyScott04 i think our sons were born on the same day! Aug 6? my guy seems to be behind on things as well and im just trying not to worry as well, he literally just started rolling over belly to back a week ago and has absolutly no desire to go from his back to belly. i agree that every baby develops at their own pace but it is really hard not to worry, i think it comes with being a mom.

out of curiosity, is he wearing contact lenses now since the cataract surgery or did they do an implant?

Stormytucker · March 2014

I agree with other posters, all babies are different and yours sounds a lot like mine, he was born aug 5 and hes for sure not sitting unassisted and gets super frustrated on the floor no crawling just scooting, it seems that it takes him a little longer than some babies to start doing things but once he gets it figured out he moves along pretty well! I have also found he's doing more for the daycare girls than for me, example hea been holding his bottle and feeding himself at daycare for two weeks but he did it at home for me the first time tonight. Don't worry yours will get there. And as long as his pedi. Is ok with things then I wouldn't worry good luck!

KellyScott04 · March 2014

@natsko Yup, Liam was born August 6. How funny

Our boy is definitely NOT a fan of tummy time either. He's been rolling from side to side and scooting around but like your son, has no real desire to flip over onto his belly. I never knew motherhood would bring SO much concern! PHEW! lol

He is wearing contact lenses. He'll wear the contacts for about a year or 2 then get the IOL surgery when his eyes are fully developed. Contacts are quite the experience...

@stormytucker Our babysitter for Li said the same thing. He does things with her that he doesn't do at home so I'm sure it's the extra stimulation going on (she has 4 kids vs our household where it's just hubby and I).

Stormytucker · March 2014

I am learning now to ask more questions daily about what my little guy has done new every day now, that way I can continue to work on those things more! I for sure believe that watching the other kids is helping him learn so much better than just "mommy" showing him how to do new things.

Emeraldeyed315 · March 2014

@KellyScott04‌ my LO has a cataract too! What are the odds. So far we have been able to avoid surgery though but go to the pediatric eye surgeon every 4 weeks to monitor the size. I'm glad Liam is doing well!

LittleNugget93 · March 2014

I am going to school for child development and something that we commonly hear is that milestones end up ranging 2 years in either direction. Obviously, this is for an older kid, but it applies to babies as well. Also, since your baby was born a month early, he will appear to hit his milestones later only because he was early. Look at him as if he is 6 months old, instead of 7.

ELauren88 · March 2014

To repeat, sight issues can cause several "delays" in other areas. Just keep working with your LO for reaching, and try sitting him up when ever possible. He'll get it.

Also, most docs don't check for "on track" milestone until 9 months. I don't know why, but that seems to be the arbitrary line for whether a kid is "behind" or not.

Don't stress, you're doing great!

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

Inhale, then exhale. Repeat.

Even Moms of more than one child have concerns about development. Why, because each child does things at their own pace & way.

It's great to keep a look out but honestly, comparing your baby to any other baby will just make you feel anxious. Your LO will get there.

I always say they don't go to college or even middle school not walking/talking/insertmilestonehere .

It will be ok, I promise with whipped cream & a big fat cherry on top. You are a good mother doing the best she can. The rest is up to LO & time. Hang in there.

KellyScott04 · March 2014

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. It's very comforting to know I am not the only one concerned with this whole milestone thing. I know very well I'm OVER worrying due mostly because of my son being born with a vision impairment but through the words of wisdom from other veteran mommies like you guys, I'm learning to breathe in and breathe out and know that LO will be just fine and hit his milestones when he is ready. I know we're doing all we can to help him but again, it's hard not to lose your mind sometimes. lol!

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Milestones - HATE the paranoia over this subject

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