The baby stage- GTKY

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

I have heard a lot of people say that they didn't enjoy the baby stage as part of the reason for being OAD. I totally get that, but I have to say I LOVED the baby stage. Not the newborn stage, but so far, I think I most enjoyed DD from the ages of maybe 3 months to 1 year. Am I the only one?

I will say that I *am* starting to enjoy her again now-- she has a significant speech delay and is in therapy so she's just now really starting to talk. She still has yet to say mommy though-- so maybe once that comes this will be my favorite stage?

What stage did you/ do you like best?

harleygirl07 · March 2014

I've really loved them all up until she turned 3! For some reason, we skipped the terrible 2's, and they kicked in the minute she turned 3! LOL

Tink112011 · March 2014

I didnt love the baby stage. It all came as a shock to me as a FTM (and so much crying!). I have loved everything past about 1 year, and I continue to love each new stage. DS is a great talker and can always get his point across to us, which is huge. He is also potty trained and can follow directions well. I am LOVING the age of 2 (so far!)

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

Tink112011 said:

I didnt love the baby stage. It all came as a shock to me as a FTM (and so much crying!). I have loved everything past about 1 year, and I continue to love each new stage. DS is a great talker and can always get his point across to us, which is huge. He is also potty trained and can follow directions well. I am LOVING the age of 2 (so far!)

Yeah, I am thinking the speech delay has something to do with why I am maybe not enjoying her now as much as I should be.

hopefulmom81 · March 2014

When I say that I did not enjoy the baby stage, I mean the newborn stage. Everything got better and better from about 4 months through now!

law&order · March 2014

6-12 months was my favorite. The toddler years have been hard. Really hard.

Ago · March 2014

harleygirl07 said:

I've really loved them all up until she turned 3! For some reason, we skipped the terrible 2's, and they kicked in the minute she turned 3! LOL

This is exactly my experience. She is turning four this week and I already see a big improvement.

harleygirl07 · March 2014

Ago said:

harleygirl07 said:

I've really loved them all up until she turned 3! For some reason, we skipped the terrible 2's, and they kicked in the minute she turned 3! LOL

This is exactly my experience. She is turning four this week and I already see a big improvement!

Thank You! Hopefully it will be the same for my DD

Ago · March 2014

harleygirl07 said:

Ago said:

harleygirl07 said:

I've really loved them all up until she turned 3! For some reason, we skipped the terrible 2's, and they kicked in the minute she turned 3! LOL

This is exactly my experience. She is turning four this week and I already see a big improvement!

Thank You! Hopefully it will be the same for my DD

I have heard a few moms say it is almost instantaneous when a kid turns four. One of my friends says "terrible twos, terrifying threes."

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

I've really loved every stage. He was a really easy baby & now a pretty easy toddler so we got lucky. I am loving this age (he's 2.5.) He may throw a tantrum here & there but the adorable things he does really outweighs the negatives by a long shot. He also has a pretty severe speech delay but "talks" all the time, it's pretty hilarious. Things will probably be even more easier once he's really talking because life is like charades at times here. Lol Also all the hugs & kisses are wonderful. I'm probably going to die once he finally says "mama."

OMG-- it's nice to hear someone else going through this. I feel like all of rmy friend's kids have been saying mommy since birth. I seriously can't wait to hear her say it.

She's a good girl in general, but extremely high energy and super strong willed. And has the strength of an ox.

KatieB19 · March 2014

The newborn stage was hard at times, but I liked it. I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember and then it was here. It did take me a few month to fall in love with ds (it wasn't instant like for some) but he was MY baby finally, and I loved every minute. Well, ok, not every minute

I also have enjoyed every stage as it's come. I feel like, with ds being an only, I get to really focus on and experience each milestone.

All that being said about newborns, I KNOW it would be different with a second. No napping when the baby naps, no hours spent in bed just reading and nursing. I'd do it all over again (literally -- not by having a second) in a heartbeat. Although, looking back, it was a bit hard on our marriage.

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

KatieB19 said:

The newborn stage was hard at times, but I liked it. I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember and then it was here. It did take me a few month to fall in love with ds (it wasn't instant like for some) but he was MY baby finally, and I loved every minute. Well, ok, not every minute

I also have enjoyed every stage as it's come. I feel like, with ds being an only, I get to really focus on and experience each milestone.

All that being said about newborns, I KNOW it would be different with a second. No napping when the baby naps, no hours spent in bed just reading and nursing. I'd do it all over again (literally -- not by having a second) in a heartbeat. Although, looking back, it was a bit hard on our marriage.

Thanks for sharing that!

There are a lot of thinks I wish I could do over-- her actual birth, and definitely the first few weeks months of her life. I also was not in love right away. I actually couldn't even kiss her until she was about 6 weeks old.

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

M&M-- Josie is the exact same way! She says daddy and grandpa and "morma gee" (or dog is Norma Jean).

PB102012 · March 2014

I am loving the current stage that we are in.... now that she's a bit more mobile and independent I am able to get stuff done around the house, take her out more and for longer periods, etc.

amie444 · March 2014

I am in the middle of the baby stage DD is 9 months. And we are having so much fun. Newborn STAGE was AWFUL and I hated it. But now that we are sleeping through the night and I am weaning to CM and I am not completely attached to the pump. I am starting to feel more normal. I can't wait for the next stage...WALKING...or maybe not

Chapter79 · March 2014

I love my daughter in every stage. I didn't love some of the stages. Granted, there were things I enjoyed and miss in every one? I miss newborn cuddles. But hated the actual stage. Really- I prefer ages 5 and up the most. Anything below 5 years old was not a picnic for me. Tantrums, not talking, not walking, terrible 3's, etc etc.

But sitting down with an almost 8 year old to do homework together, getting report cards, taking her on vacation with ease, getting our nails done together, watching her read huge chapter books and bring home at Atlas from the library to read for fun... these things are fun to me

It's amazing to watch her evolve into this person she is, go to school and read, grow up and mature.. to me it's more fun that a non-walking little one who can't talk yet. It's less frustrating to me. I've always said if I could pop out a 5+ year old, I would consider another!

jellybean529 · March 2014

I LOVED 9-18 months. She was STTN but starting to pick up some skills (walking, talking, feeding herself, etc). Super cute and snuggly and happy baby giggles all around!! I would do that stage again in a heartbeat.

Birth-9 months and anything after 2 years, forget about it! LOL. I think we're still stuck in the terrible 2s!

TiffanyBerry · March 2014

I'm in the "hated it" camp. But she's always been high needs, and sensory sensitive and had reflux, so it's not really surprising. She had to be bounced (on an exercise ball), while swaddled, in a dark room, shushing her, letting her suck on my pinky (so, being held in one arm), for at least an hour to get her to sleep - even for naps. Then would wake up every 2hrs or so, and want to nurse. Which was, until 3months, excruciatingly painful, and was never great after that. And when she was awake, she wanted to be held (not in a carrier, until she was 6mo) every moment. That lasted a year, and then very slowly has been getting better. Not that she sleeps through the night yet.

It was, quite frankly, a cruel form of torture.

I love her to death, but man, that first year was really hard.

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

Chapter79 said:

I love my daughter in every stage. I didn't love some of the stages. Granted, there were things I enjoyed and miss in every one? I miss newborn cuddles. But hated the actual stage. Really- I prefer ages 5 and up the most. Anything below 5 years old was not a picnic for me. Tantrums, not talking, not walking, terrible 3's, etc etc.

But sitting down with an almost 8 year old to do homework together, getting report cards, taking her on vacation with ease, getting our nails done together, watching her read huge chapter books and bring home at Atlas from the library to read for fun... these things are fun to me It's amazing to watch her evolve into this person she is, go to school and read, grow up and mature.. to me it's more fun that a non-walking little one who can't talk yet. It's less frustrating to me. I've always said if I could pop out a 5+ year old, I would consider another!

LOL-- yes of course to the bolded.

What you are describing is what I am really looking forward to!

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

TiffanyBerry said:

I'm in the "hated it" camp. But she's always been high needs, and sensory sensitive and had reflux, so it's not really surprising. She had to be bounced (on an exercise ball), while swaddled, in a dark room, shushing her, letting her suck on my pinky (so, being held in one arm), for at least an hour to get her to sleep - even for naps. Then would wake up every 2hrs or so, and want to nurse. Which was, until 3months, excruciatingly painful, and was never great after that. And when she was awake, she wanted to be held (not in a carrier, until she was 6mo) every moment. That lasted a year, and then very slowly has been getting better. Not that she sleeps through the night yet.

It was, quite frankly, a cruel form of torture.

I love her to death, but man, that first year was really hard.

Dang to the bolded!

hopefulmom81 · March 2014

hopefulmom81 said:

When I say that I did not enjoy the baby stage, I mean the newborn stage. Everything got better and better from about 4 months through now!

I realize that I did not answer your original question. My favorite stage is right now! She is so funny and clever and awesome to be around!

legalbeagle1 · March 2014

Ugh. Newborn period was awful for me. I was so painfully engorged, sleep deprived and felt shut in in the apartment all the time with crying baby and dog -- was afraid to take him out really because of the cold and I probably have a touch of SAD. Then I went back to work and things got better and then things seemed great, but then was diagnosed with gross motor delay around seven months old. Between then and just a month ago (15 mos) I went through a long period of depression. He's now walking and doing really well, but I feel so cheated out of that first year happiness.

He seems a little speech delayed, but I think that is common with kids with hypotonia. Lots of starts of words (ex. "bah" means ball, box, bottle). Without hijacking, for those of you with kids with speech delays when did you start therapy? He's currently in EI for physical therapy so she is keeping an eye on him and maybe get evaluated in two months at 18 mos.

gwendarling · March 2014

Helenahhandbasket said:

KatieB19 said:

The newborn stage was hard at times, but I liked it. I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember and then it was here. It did take me a few month to fall in love with ds (it wasn't instant like for some) but he was MY baby finally, and I loved every minute. Well, ok, not every minute

I also have enjoyed every stage as it's come. I feel like, with ds being an only, I get to really focus on and experience each milestone.

All that being said about newborns, I KNOW it would be different with a second. No napping when the baby naps, no hours spent in bed just reading and nursing. I'd do it all over again (literally -- not by having a second) in a heartbeat. Although, looking back, it was a bit hard on our marriage.

Thanks for sharing that!
There are a lot of thinks I wish I could do over-- her actual birth, and definitely the first few weeks months of her life. I also was not in love right away. I actually couldn't even kiss her until she was about 6 weeks old.

Helenahhandbasket, me too. I didn't connect with her for a while and I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was just waiting for life to go back to normal again.

TittsMcGee · March 2014

I never liked the newborn stage mainly because I had bad PPD, DS was colicky, never slept, so I pretty much hated it.

I love the current stage. He's developing his own personality, starting to talk more, be more affectionate etc.

gwendarling · March 2014

TiffanyBerry said:

I'm in the "hated it" camp. But she's always been high needs, and sensory sensitive and had reflux, so it's not really surprising. She had to be bounced (on an exercise ball), while swaddled, in a dark room, shushing her, letting her suck on my pinky (so, being held in one arm), for at least an hour to get her to sleep - even for naps. Then would wake up every 2hrs or so, and want to nurse. Which was, until 3months, excruciatingly painful, and was never great after that. And when she was awake, she wanted to be held (not in a carrier, until she was 6mo) every moment. That lasted a year, and then very slowly has been getting better. Not that she sleeps through the night yet.

It was, quite frankly, a cruel form of torture.

I love her to death, but man, that first year was really hard.

My dd was colicky and a lot like this, too.

I feel like if I had another, I would be able to enjoy the newborn period because I've been through a tough one. I also want to have another for that reason - I feel i missed a beautiful period and I want a do-over.

but to answer the question, I absolutely love 1-2 yo. It's SUCH a magical time when everything is new.

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

legalbeagle1 said:

Ugh. Newborn period was awful for me. I was so painfully engorged, sleep deprived and felt shut in in the apartment all the time with crying baby and dog -- was afraid to take him out really because of the cold and I probably have a touch of SAD. Then I went back to work and things got better and then things seemed great, but then was diagnosed with gross motor delay around seven months old. Between then and just a month ago (15 mos) I went through a long period of depression. He's now walking and doing really well, but I feel so cheated out of that first year happiness.

He seems a little speech delayed, but I think that is common with kids with hypotonia. Lots of starts of words (ex. "bah" means ball, box, bottle). Without hijacking, for those of you with kids with speech delays when did you start therapy? He's currently in EI for physical therapy so she is keeping an eye on him and maybe get evaluated in two months at 18 mos.

Your DS sounds like DD. She didn't take even one unassisted step until 16 months.

We asked our pedi about EI at 18 months, but she put us off. We asked again at 21 months, when there seemed to be no progress, and that's when we had her evaluated. She does 1.5 hours 2x a week and I have seen quite an improvement- but we still have a ways to go.

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

M & M we do speech and behavioral therapy-- so each session is 45 minutes. We coordinated it with the therapists so that they come on the same day, and back to back.

Yeah-- it probably does vary quite a bit from state to state though.

jellybean529 · March 2014

TittsMcGee said:

I never liked the newborn stage mainly because I had bad PPD, DS was colicky, never slept, so I pretty much hated it.
I love the current stage. He's developing his own personality, starting to talk more, be more affectionate etc.

I also had a colicky baby and severe PPD. And a baby who didn't sleep more than 3 hours at a time unitl 9 months old. Right there with you on the newborn stage, sister.

jellybean529 · March 2014

legalbeagle1 said:

Ugh. Newborn period was awful for me. I was so painfully engorged, sleep deprived and felt shut in in the apartment all the time with crying baby and dog -- was afraid to take him out really because of the cold and I probably have a touch of SAD. Then I went back to work and things got better and then things seemed great, but then was diagnosed with gross motor delay around seven months old. Between then and just a month ago (15 mos) I went through a long period of depression. He's now walking and doing really well, but I feel so cheated out of that first year happiness.

He seems a little speech delayed, but I think that is common with kids with hypotonia. Lots of starts of words (ex. "bah" means ball, box, bottle). Without hijacking, for those of you with kids with speech delays when did you start therapy? He's currently in EI for physical therapy so she is keeping an eye on him and maybe get evaluated in two months at 18 mos.

My niece (who is now 5) had hypotonia and a speech delay. She started EI at 6 months and is still in it...the cause of her speech delay was recently discovered (as in, a few weeks ago) to be submucosal cleft palette though, so she's probably having surgery to fix that and then some additional speech therapy to help her readjust. It'll be funny to hear her talk "normally" after all this time!

I think I remember her hypotonia had pretty much resolved by age 2 or 2 1/2 but it's hard to remember at this point.

Good luck to you! And I hope you're starting to feel better...your situation sounds like it was so isolating.

legalbeagle1 · March 2014

@lildis09 Hypotonia really just means loose muscles. Kids often feel floppy because their muscles can't hold a contraction as long as normal-developing kids muscles can. Like when L was six months I took him to the pediatrician and was like "I'm not worried that he isn't sitting unassisted, I'm worried because I have no idea how he would possibly sit unassisted." He would just flop over. Hypotonia isn't a diagnosis itself, but a symptom of something larger (ex. kids who have autism often have hypotonia) or sometimes nothing at all and can resolve on its own with lots of physical therapy as the muscles get stronger (like mrs.tbc's neice). Kids with hypotonia often have a mild speech delay if their mouth muscles aren't strong enough to form the words. L's has gotten a lot better since we switched to straw cups during the day.

He's doing pretty well now: sat unassisted at 8 months, army-crawled at 8.5 months, regular crawled at 9.5 months, pulled to stand at 10.5 months, took an unassisted step after his first birthday and has been walking full-time since 15 months. (Yep, I can remember that all by heart now!) I'm mostly happier now because we have a nice baseline of interaction -- he's healthy, he's happy, he knows who I am -- the rest will come!

legalbeagle1 · March 2014

mrs.tbc said:

legalbeagle1 said:

Ugh. Newborn period was awful for me. I was so painfully engorged, sleep deprived and felt shut in in the apartment all the time with crying baby and dog -- was afraid to take him out really because of the cold and I probably have a touch of SAD. Then I went back to work and things got better and then things seemed great, but then was diagnosed with gross motor delay around seven months old. Between then and just a month ago (15 mos) I went through a long period of depression. He's now walking and doing really well, but I feel so cheated out of that first year happiness.

He seems a little speech delayed, but I think that is common with kids with hypotonia. Lots of starts of words (ex. "bah" means ball, box, bottle). Without hijacking, for those of you with kids with speech delays when did you start therapy? He's currently in EI for physical therapy so she is keeping an eye on him and maybe get evaluated in two months at 18 mos.
My niece (who is now 5) had hypotonia and a speech delay. She started EI at 6 months and is still in it...the cause of her speech delay was recently discovered (as in, a few weeks ago) to be submucosal cleft palette though, so she's probably having surgery to fix that and then some additional speech therapy to help her readjust. It'll be funny to hear her talk "normally" after all this time!

I think I remember her hypotonia had pretty much resolved by age 2 or 2 1/2 but it's hard to remember at this point.

Good luck to you! And I hope you're starting to feel better...your situation sounds like it was so isolating.

Thanks for telling me about your neice. It is so nice to hear positive stories about kids who had/have hypotonia. I really appreciate it.

And thanks for those who responded on speech therapy! Sounds like 18 months is a good time to think about it.

Myaflowers · March 2014

I pretty much hated the newborn stage, too. I had PPD, was recovering from pregnancy complications, and dealing with a terrible start to breastfeeding. I was so overwhelmed and anxious about trying to care for a newborn. I sometimes wished I could go back to the hospital where nurses could take care of the baby. DH was very helpful, but I was still totally overwhelmed. I wish I could go back and try to enjoy the first few months more! My favorite stage so far is NOW (13.5 months). DD is getting to be more fun. We can actually communicate with each other (somewhat, lol) and play together. I'm definitely looking forward to all the fun things we can do together as she gets older!

bridetobemo · March 2014

everything after about 3 months ive enjoyed. the newborn phase was awfyl. struggling with bfing, ppd, reflux, not sleeping unless held. i cried at least an hour everyday for the first 3 months

this decaf life · March 2014

The first 9.5 months were really hard, but since then it's been lots of fun. She's walking and the past 2 months have been a bit more difficult because she's so mobile but I love this time with her.

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