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sleep help for 2-year old

Jenny952Jenny952 member
in Attachment Parenting

I would love some advice or just encouragement about the sleep issues with my 2-year old.  She started out being a really good sleeper but last summer she started waking more frequently at night and I started bringing her into bed with me.  She and I now bedshare, and DH sleeps in the guest room.  He's ready to come back to our bed but doesn't like bedsharing with DD.  Our routine is to do bath, pj's, read books, and then nurse.  She used to be able to fall asleep nursing, now it's about half of the time.  When she doesn't fall asleep nursing, I put her down in her bed.  Sometimes she's able to fall asleep there, and other night she cries to sleep in mama's bed, so I bring her there.  DH has been traveling a lot lately, I'm working full-time, so it's just easier.  That may be part of the problem.

The other issue is that it takes forever for her to fall asleep on her own.  Tonight, for example, she was tired and rubbing her eyes around 6:30, so we did a quick bath and I started nursing at 7:30.  She didn't fall asleep until almost 9.  This is pretty typical for her, it just takes so long, no matter if I'm rocking her or if she's laying down by herself.  The other part is that she absolutely cannot be left alone.  Even during the day, she doesn't like when I leave the room, even if she can still see or hear me.  So I either rock her or lay on the floor of her room for an hour until she can fall asleep.  Then in the middle of the night she comes to bed with me when she wakes up, which happens every night.  We did try to get her to fall back to sleep in her own bed when she woke up, but that was a disaster.  After 3 nights of getting less than 5 hours of sleep, DH and I agreed that it wasn't working. 

She typically sleeps 9-10 hours at night and takes an hour and a half nap.  I definitely don't think she sleeps enough at night.  She goes down by 9 and wakes between 6:15-7, sleeps from 1-2:30 (sometimes a bit later).  We've had a few days without naps, but she's not ready to drop them yet.  Those days she was a mess by 5:00 so I think she does still need it.  The days she's home with me, she's definitely ready for a nap and goes right to sleep within 5-10 minutes.

My goal would be for her to be able to fall asleep quicker and to sleep through the night.  For one, DH and I would both like him to come back to our bed, and we're hoping to try for baby #2 soon and I'd like to get some of our sleep issues resolved.  Am I crazy to think that those are reasonable goals?  Any advice on helping her have better sleep habits?

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Re: sleep help for 2-year old

  • vvvvvfeevvvvvfee member
    i'm still bedsharing with my 18-month old, so maybe i'm not the best person to offer advice, but... what about a mattress on the floor in your room? or converting the crib to a toddler bed and side-carring it to your bed? maybe she would sleep better if she was in the same room as you?
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  • ncbellencbelle member
    My experience at that age was that if they weren't falling asleep until 9 (and we had that phase!) it meant I waited too long on bedtime!  So I'd start with an earlier bedtime.  Eye rubbing is a "late" tired cue - so if it's another hour after eye rubbing when she hits the pillow, she's going to hit that second wind and have a tough time going down.

    As for the night waking, I'd ditto the floor bed in your room suggestion.  Or alternatively, sleep with her in her bed when/if she wakes.  I've done both and both have helped everyone get good sleep!


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  • yeah.yeah. member
    ncbelle said:
    My experience at that age was that if they weren't falling asleep until 9 (and we had that phase!) it meant I waited too long on bedtime!  So I'd start with an earlier bedtime.  Eye rubbing is a "late" tired cue - so if it's another hour after eye rubbing when she hits the pillow, she's going to hit that second wind and have a tough time going down.



    This. If she's eye rubbing and it's another hour until she's getting ready to sleep, something is wrong and she's overtired. When I see the eye rub, I throw on PJs and kids are in bed within 10 minutes.
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  • audreylaine510audreylaine510 member
    My DD falls asleep pretty easily as long as I lay down next to her and snuggle her to sleep. What has worked for us is putting a double sized futon mattress on the floor in her room. when it's time for bed I lay down with her until she falls asleep. She usually wakes once in the night and then I go in and lay down with her until she goes back to sleep. This has been working really well for us as an alternative to bed sharing. 
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  • Linnea503Linnea503 member
    audreylaine510 said:

    My DD falls asleep pretty easily as long as I lay down next to her and snuggle her to sleep. What has worked for us is putting a double sized futon mattress on the floor in her room. when it's time for bed I lay down with her until she falls asleep. She usually wakes once in the night and then I go in and lay down with her until she goes back to sleep. This has been working really well for us as an alternative to bed sharing. 

    This is exactly what we've done too. I swear the floor bed is a miracle!
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