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Can I have it all?

jmcgra06jmcgra06 member
in Attachment Parenting
How are you all able to get your kids to sleep in cribs and then bed-share at night? Anna (8 months) cried for 45 minutes today in her crib while I shh'd-patted because she is so used to nursing to sleep. (If I nurse her to sleep, there is no way I can move her to the crib without her waking up, so that isn't an option.) I know we can overcome the crib-adversion with positive reinforcement and repetition, but won't bed-sharing at night undo all of that? I love cuddling with her all night so I would love to keep bed-sharing, but I don't want to confuse her and make this difficult process even worse :(

Help!
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Re: Can I have it all?

  • coffeeandbookscoffeeandbooks member
    edited March 2014
     We co-slept for nine months, and LO napped in the swing or stroller during that time.  The swing/stroller made him feel more snuggly then a crib.   It really worked well for us until we recently transitioned to the crib.
    If  if he is too old for the swing maybe try wearing LO till very drowsy before putting him in.
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  • vvvvvfeevvvvvfee member
    i assume you mean for naps? my answer is- we never were able to! DS would nap while we held him, or in his infant car seat. now that he's a little older, we will let him nap on our bed or on the sofa while one of us is nearby. we tried so many times to get him to sleep in the crib (i even resorted to getting IN the crib with him, nursing him to sleep, and then getting out!), but we could never get it to work.

    if you are just trying to break the nurse-to-sleep association, you could try enlisting your SO. my DH has always been good at getting DS to fall asleep by rocking, singing, listening to music, etc. the problem was always putting him down if there wasn't someone there to cuddle him. ;)

    our next idea (now that he is a squirmy toddler, who takes up the whole bed) is to try removing the side from the crib and side-carring it to our bed. so that's another possibility.
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  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member

    We've never tried to get our babies to nap in a crib. They nap on a floor bed so I can lay with them until they fall asleep. Sometimes my 3 year old asks to sleep in a crib when he comes to work with me because he likes the confinement, but that's new.

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  • ncbellencbelle member
    We also just never used a crib.  I wore my babies for naps for a long time but as they got older, I let them nap in my bed (or in a bed in their room).  There's no reason a baby HAS to be in a crib ;)


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  • jmcgra06jmcgra06 member
    That's what I thought, but then she crawled off the bed and landed on her head, and it was such a mess :( I know it happens, but I felt terrible. Tonight, I crawled in there with her, and she fell asleep, and she's been sleeping alone for two hours.

    It's breaking my heart :/
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    We also never used a crib.  Just coslept and moved to a bed on the floor and moved the floor bed to her room and I go to her room/bed when she wakes in the night.
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member

    I side-lie nurse DS in my bed until he's asleep and then sneak away. I barricade him in with pillows to keep him from rolling off the bed. I've done that since about 6 months or so. This is pretty much what I do for bedtime, too.




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  • ReeceFamilyReeceFamily member
    Lately I've had some success with getting DD (13 mos) to nap in her crib on the weekends.  When I notice she is getting tired mid-morning, I put her in my Ergo and vacuum or whatever until she falls asleep, and when she is pretty deep asleep I transfer her to her crib.  Voila!  She'll sleep for up to 2 hours or so. I just tried this about 2 weeks ago and it worked for some reason.  

    I'm not ready to give up bedsharing at night, but may try it in the coming months.
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  • Linnea503Linnea503 member
    Floor bed in a childproofed room. Solved almost all of our sleep "issues" with no tears, just lots of cuddles.
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  • =Lee=B=Lee=B member

    No issues here.  My 12 month old (today) sleeps in her crib for naps and the first part of the night then comes into bed with me the rest of the night.

    It took lots of effort and time, and there were periods I used a floor bed instead of the crib but she now goes down awake in the crib with no crying.  I do typically nurse her before putting her down.  I can transfer her when asleep when needed.

    It won`t happen overnight but if you really want it to happen and have lots of time and patience then pick a routine and stick to it and get her used to going down in the crib.

    After Christmas we had traveled for 2 weeks, then she had a major cold, then 4 teeth.  She hadn`t been in her crib for a good 6 weeks.  We had to completely `retrain` her to like it.

    I sidecarred the crib with a bed and we bedshared in the bed, then in time I transferred her to the crib, with me right there beside her (with bars between us), then I moved my bed across the room and slept in it.  Then I removed myself from the room (aside from bedsharing from about 1am onwards when I am too lazy to go down the hall).

    That was all coupled with months and months of `training` her to transfer and go to sleep etc.  She is cued to sleep by my actions, `shhh-ing`back rub, rocking etc.  She can transfer from my arms (or from bedsharing into to crib while asleep by my knowing exactly how to do it, which is always keeping her horizontal in my arms never upright, having my arms in a certain places around her, holding her arms into her body so they don`t flop, lying her on her side and leaving my arm under her with my other hand firmly on her back, slowly easing my arm out from under her head with other arm still firmly on back, then my hand lightly on back, my hand off her back but close should she stir. 

    When she is going through a developmental thing (teeth, wonder week etc) we usually regress a bit and I have to do all the above but on a general day I can just gently lie her down awake and walk out.  My husband is also now a pro at getting her down tear free.  He has a whole other set of technics that work for him.  He lies on the floor beside the crib (she sits up and checks he`s there then lies back down (over and over).  While he is slowly moving himself closer and closer to the door.  He eventually leaves the room and she doesn`t seem to care, she pops up sees he`s gone then flops down and goes to sleep.

    Anyways, point being it is totally do-able.  It takes a lot to get it to work and it takes time for both baby and parent to figure out what their routine/system will be. 

    As much as being consistent it huge I have never had an issue with bailing on something one night if it just not working that night and bedsharing or what ever to get baby to sleep happily.  There are a million things that can make the baby not go to sleep as usual one night (teeth, milestones etc), I find if you ride it out then pick up and continue once baby is back in the groove it doesn't set you back to far.

     

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