Raising boys vs girls....

Tshae2432 · March 2014

For moms that have boys and girls. Do u and SO raise them different? Are u harder on the boys?? Just curious

HBirdie · March 2014

Loppy19 said:

We have a boy and a girl. I don't plan on raising them any differently specifically because they are different sexes. They are different people so that will come in to play. Not sure why I would be harder on my son than my daughter. This whole post weirds me out.

^This, except I only have a boy so far.

edit: for some reason I said I only have a girl so far which is untrue... it's early.

mrssamarataylor · March 2014

Do you mean intentionally being harder on the boys? I only have a boy so far, and I couldn't imagine being harder on him because of that...

VitaLuna · March 2014

??? No, my husband (or I) will not be harder on a boy just because they're a boy, nor will we be "soft" on a girl just because she's a girl. Our children, no matter the sex, will be treated equally.

P.S.. I'm side eyeing the crap out of this post.

hilalk · March 2014

I have a 9-year old son and a 5.5 mo old daughter. I beat my son everyday like maybe 100 times just to be rough on him because you know he must be tough, right? We have a military discipline for him at home. I don't plan to do the same for DD though.

princessvespa1 · March 2014

What are you referring to as "differently"? If you are talking about traditional gender roles, then No they are being raised the same. Son helps me already with everything, and I plan to do the same with daughter.

What would you be "harder" on son about? It's ok for his sister to do stuff but he has to sit on the couch and watch? I don't get this. At all.

Kristonita12 · March 2014

I would raise them differently according to their personalities, I guess, but I definitely wouldn't be "harder" on the boys. I don't even like the sound of that. I also think the personality thing is more of an interaction thing than a raising thing.

In fact, this whole post just makes me gag.

Edited because I can't type coherently without much sleep!

JennerP60 · March 2014

I've heard that moms tend to be harder on daughters and dads tend to be harder on sons, both unintentionally. I only have a boy but if I had a daughter, I wouldn't try to raise them differently

Violet1372 · March 2014

Ya no. I only have a daughter currently but I agree with all the PP. Why would I treat them differently? That is just silly.

Burrberrymum · March 2014

My boyfriend was raised with an older brother and a younger sister and his family was/still is easy on their daughter and spoils her treats her like a princess and the "boys" (men) always had to fend for themselves. They had to get jobs or they couldn't play sports, but for her they would buy all her equipment for whatever sport she wanted (horse back riding, soccer, hockey, dance). They would drive her to every class she had but the boys would have to find their own ways all the time. If it was night time they would pick her up but not them, they had to walk home or pay for a cab. Around the house they would pick up after her but not them, they would get yelled at for leaving anything out but they would easily pick it up for her. Little things like that.

This to me isn't right. It still affects him to this day, and I would hate to make my children, boy or girl, feel that way.. That kind of treatment follows you your whole life.

princessvespa1 · March 2014

starscream said:

OP are you there? PPs asked some really good questions.

I only have a son but I "raise" him differently in that I do not let him sit on the changing table long diaper free. My walls are almost guaranteed to get peed on. I imagine if I had a daughter, I would be a lot more relaxed with the diaper policy.

Don't be so sure.

I have been peed on by both of my kids at the changing table!! Ha!

HisChamaoleGirl · March 2014

I'm not sure the point of this post since you, OP, haven't come back to offer clarification or to answer the questions. My SS is 10 and my DD is 5m. They are being raised differently in that SS spends a majority of his time in his mother's home and we cannot control how he is being raised. That's the ONLY situation I can think of in where our boy is being raised differently than our girl. If we have additional children, DH and I will continue to use the same level of "hard" on each of our children.

happybride 276 · March 2014

If I were to have a daughter I would raise her with the same moral standards I am raising my son. No, I will not expect more from my son. I want them both to be upstanding citizens and overall good people.

redfallon · March 2014

Only have a girl right now, but No. I mean, I guess I'll be teaching E about her period, and I wouldn't be teaching a boy about his period, and I won't be teaching E how to pee standing up, but other than that, I don't think so.

llybeck · March 2014

This actually makes me pretty irritated. This is how kids grow up to be my fiance and future SIL. She doesn't do any chores besides "women's work" and taking care of the kids. And my fiance had literally no effing clue how to even sweep or fold laundry or anything. I would throat punch their parents if my fiance would let me, they did s such a disservice to both of them and to this day treat them differently according to their sex.

There's no way in hell I'd ever raise boys and girls differently for that reason but also because what does that teach them besides that men and women SHOULD be treated differently? That's a terrible message.

Violet1372 · March 2014

Loppy19 said:

OP are you there? PPs asked some really good questions.

I only have a son but I "raise" him differently in that I do not let him sit on the changing table long diaper free. My walls are almost guaranteed to get peed on. I imagine if I had a daughter, I would be a lot more relaxed with the diaper policy.
No way. You might not get peed on but DD would flood the changing table. She actually peed on way more stuff than DS has.

This is so true! LO floods the changing table All. The. Time.

Tshae2432 · March 2014

I was just curious to see if parents of both feel like it was different. I know growing up it def felt like it was different rules& stuff for the boys vs girls. I didn't mean to cause an up roar

DaisyZH · March 2014

I understand why you might ask, I do know a fair amount of people IRL that are very vocal about raising their children differently. Mainly it seems to involve being more protective of their daughters and looking forward to playing sports with their sons.

To be clear I think it's pretty stupid and as a PP mentioned it can be super-harmful to the kids to grow up thinking in terms of "men's work" and "women's work". Personally I don't treat my kids differently and I feel bad because my younger brother was definitely treated differently growing up. He had to mow the lawn but I didn't, I gave him one of my dolls since he wanted one but was never given one of his own. I'm not sure if it bugged him but I never want my kids to feel favored or pigeonholed in any way.

ETA I don't think OP is stupid, just the sexist viewpoint I see IRL if that makes sense

mrsmoxie · March 2014

redfallon said:
Only have a girl right now, but No. I mean, I guess I'll be teaching E about her period, and I wouldn't be teaching a boy about his period, and I won't be teaching E how to pee standing up, but other than that, I don't think so.

This reminds me. When my oldest sister got her first period, my mom took her and gave her a talk, about everything that's going on in her body. My brother, who was 7 at the time, over heard that talk, and started crying saying "I never want to get my period!"

Anyway, I am not going to be harder on any future sons I have just because they're boys. That's ridiculous.

sugarellie · March 2014

I only have boys so I can't say from experience , but if I were to have a girl, I would absolutely not treat them differently . Sex aside , I deal with my boys differently in a way just because they have different personalities .. But I would never treat children differently because of sex or birth order etc. To me that could cause some serious issues ... JMO

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