Need a PPA/PPD check-in

thebanich · March 2014

I'm at work but having a complete meltdown. I keep having to close my door so I can burst into to tears, collect myself, repeat. There is a lot of high stress shit going on. I'm buried at work, we got shitty news from the inspection of a home we want to buy, I found out a little boy in our community is dying of brain cancer (he's close to Lilly's age) and it has set off the panic button here.

I fucking hate Tuesday.

thebanich · March 2014

pobrecita said:

A million hugs @Banich4eva. Can you keep your door closed for a while so you can regroup? Or does it have to stay open.

I work in HR so our policy is to always have our doors open. If I can't keep it together I will just send an email to my supervisor to tell her whats up. She is 26 weeks pregnant with twins so she understands stress. :P

thebanich · March 2014

I'm supposed to be walking something over to the CEO so I really need to get it together. if he asks me one stupid question I will absolutely cry.

Perhaps a klonopin is in order for today. FAACK.

Also- thanks @pobrecita.

missymo · March 2014

I'm so, so sorry you are going through all of that.

Can you leave work for a short break and go for a drive? If I am about to have a meltdown that often helps me.

I hope the day gets better. ::hugs::

nancy30005 · March 2014

Lots and lots of hugs @Banich4eva. I'm so sorry. Try not to get too into your head.

You got a distraction? Candy Crush? A vending machine? Something....

Hang in there, sister. I hate this shit.

thebanich · March 2014

NellyBluth said:

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Can you do something nice for yourself today? Even if it's just going out for a coffee or something?

I got the coffee before it all went to shit. I may leave for lunch to get some air though. Blergh.

nancy30005 · March 2014

No more coffee. Please. (((hugs)))

thebanich · March 2014

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the thoughts and hugs. I will walk down to get a water or something.

And take a klonopin.

>:D<

jorkz821 · March 2014

Big hugs!

thebanich · March 2014

CEO wasn't in his office so I only had to deal with his assistant. Its the little things in life....

aforst · March 2014

I'm late to this too, but just wanted to send you big hugs. Anxiety sucks huge massive balls. I think @CTGirl30 has some great advice. Counting and breathing usually helps me calm down. I also repeat to myself that I'm ok. It usually helps enough to get me through.

I hope the klonopin kicked in and you are feeling better!

EVA116 · March 2014

Super hugs! I agree that fresh air is the best. I go to the side of my building and just breathe.

thebanich · March 2014

Klonopin has kicked in.

@CTGirl30 Thanks for the advice!

I usually hide in the corner of my office and (this may sound really weird/crazy) "hug" myself and do the "your okay" mantra until I feel like I can breathe again. I don't have true panic attacks often but when they come on they tend to come out of left field.

Thanks @aforst & @eva116! My mom can sense that I'm off today. She is going to take me to lunch at Zoes. No hate chicken today after all.

thebanich · March 2014

pobrecita said:

I was riding the Xanax train last night. Also the vodka train. I slept goooood. I feel much better today. Yesterday was the perfect storm of work shit and personal shit.

In other news, the severe depression that hit me a few weeks ago left as quickly as it came on. It was so weird. I really don't know what caused it, but I'm glad it is gone because another visit to the psychiatrist would be really rough on our budget.

I'm glad the depression has eased off. I hope it stays away!

My anxiety/depression hits the hardest during the spring/summer and eases off in fall/winter. My body hates sunshine and warmth...

wiggyslilsis · March 2014

@banichforeva I totally get what you mean by hugging yourself. I do that when I am having a panic attack as well. If DH is around (and isn't part of the problem) I have him hug me around when I am curled up. It is like the pressure feels like it is holding me together when I am falling apart.

Glad the klonopin kicked in and sorry for all the stress you have going on!

thebanich · March 2014

wiggyslilsis said:

@banichforeva I totally get what you mean by hugging yourself. I do that when I am having a panic attack as well. If DH is around (and isn't part of the problem) I have him hug me around when I am curled up. It is like the pressure feels like it is holding me together when I am falling apart. Glad the klonopin kicked in and sorry for all the stress you have going on!

I totally get that. DH would probably think I'd gone off the deep end if I asked him but he really really doesn't get the anxiety/depression thing. It is an ongoing battle to get him to understand.

melody921 · March 2014

Banich4eva said:

pobrecita said:

A million hugs @Banich4eva. Can you keep your door closed for a while so you can regroup? Or does it have to stay open.

I work in HR so our policy is to always have our doors open. If I can't keep it together I will just send an email to my supervisor to tell her whats up. She is 26 weeks pregnant with twins so she understands stress. :P

Aww, sorry you're feeling this way. It's good if your supervisor is understanding. Hang in there!

EVA116 · March 2014

@lisajay09 WTH. That is an odd thing to say to you. I am happy you are going to see your therapist next week.

Hugs to you mama.

EVA116 · March 2014

holy shit! not okay!

thebanich · March 2014

Umm. He needs to be reported. That is not ok. At all. Ever.

wiggyslilsis · March 2014

Oh wow @lisajay09 so many red flags. I am glad you are seeing your therapist next weekand if you hhave the option to....find a new psychiatrist and definitely don't ask for his advice again.

I say if you have the option to because I know in my area there is one psychiatrist nearby and he is an hour away.

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