Adoption

Substance Abuse Question

When deciding BM Drug Usage frequency and/or none. What did you select to be OK drugs for less than 5 times use, monthly, etc?  I have heard so many conflicting things.  The agency we are going with does not give you an option with Cigarette Smoking, you have to check that.. but does for everything else...marijuana, alcohol. anti-depressants, heroin, crack, etc.  Please give me input should you have any!  So many things to think about!! Thank you!
Me:28, DH:30 Married: 07/07/07 TTC Since: March 2011 MFI Me: Possible PAI-1
April 2012:Varicocele embolization
IVF #1 July 2012: BFN :( DH- Femara 90 days 
12/10/2012 Femara helped!
IVF# 2: Jan 2013 BFP, M/C 6weeks0days
5 frosties. 
IVF #3 FET April 2013 BFP, M/C 7 weeks 0 days. 
3 frosties

Re: Substance Abuse Question

  • Alcohol and meth was the two we were most concerned with.
    Me 34 and DH 39 married in aug. 2002
    Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN
     High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 
    IVF #1 May 2012  ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN
    MINI IVF Oct.2012  Cancelled 10-27-12
    Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013
    Shared cycle..Donor cycled in July Got 12 eggs 9 fertilized and 8 frozen!!
    DE FET #1 Sept. 3rd 2013 FIRST BFP EVER 5dp5dt
    miscarried Sept 24th at 5 weeks 5 days
    Etopic  D&C and hysterscopy Nov 5 2013
    dx with pre genetic blood clotting dec 2013
    FET #2 Jan 31st  2014 
    Miscarried for a second time again at 5 weeks 5 days
    Currently fostering to adopt an amazing little 1 year old boy..P.J!
    FET#3  is Oct 29th 2014
    BFN on fet #3
    Last and FINAL FET coming JAN 28th 2015
    Everyone Welcome






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  • We talked to our family doctor about alcohol and drug exposures, and did some research. I encourage you to do the same.
  • We were very open initially because once an actual situation came along our agency gave us the option to say yes/no case-by-case. So, our tolerances looked pretty liberal across the board, and might be for any one substance but we knew we would have a chance to say no if, for instance, there was high use of a lot of substances *and* significant mental health challenge history.

    Another consideration for was that a very open adoption was important, so someone deep in a meth addiction for example would give us pause.
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  • Alcohol is one of the worst things for a baby to be exposed to.

    Our BM was on heroin, cocaine and pills but got into a methadone treatment program early.

    Son was born at 35 weeks addicted to methadone. He did not present signs until day 5 of NICU. He was given morphine to get through the withdrawal and slowly weened from the morphine for another 9 days.

    He is 12 weeks old now and still has some tummy problems (nothing major) and still presents some tremors when aggravated. We were told that this should all go away at some point but there is no way to determine when since all babies are different.

    We were adamant about no morphine in NICU but honestly it saved his life.

    On our home study papers we decided to view each case on a case by case basis so that we had time to discuss it with our doctors before making a decision.
    Proud 40 year old, first time daddy!
  • I greatly appreciate all of your responses!!!!  Such difficult decisions. 
    Me:28, DH:30 Married: 07/07/07 TTC Since: March 2011 MFI Me: Possible PAI-1
    April 2012:Varicocele embolization
    IVF #1 July 2012: BFN :( DH- Femara 90 days 
    12/10/2012 Femara helped!
    IVF# 2: Jan 2013 BFP, M/C 6weeks0days
    5 frosties. 
    IVF #3 FET April 2013 BFP, M/C 7 weeks 0 days. 
    3 frosties
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  • edited March 2014
    One of my sons has a fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, and I can tell you, it's the hardest thing we are facing when it comes to their health, education, and futures.  Luckily, he still isn't displaying many of the behavioral difficulties that can be associated with FAS/FASD, but he struggles unbelievably with school and other essential concepts such as time, money, and memory recall.  It is very challenging, and this is from a parent who has faced all sorts of medical, emotional, and educational difficulties with her sons, including heart surgery just days from bringing M home.

    M is the most loving, loyal, and brave person I have ever met, and he holds my heart in his every move.  He is my beloved and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I strongly urge you to do your research when it comes to alcohol and other drugs before deciding what situations you may consider.

    That being said, you always have the ability to be more open on your forms and decide on a case-by-case basis.  That's what we did, and I couldn't imagine my family being any more perfect.
  • We are thinking about these things now. We are getting more information on the effects of substance abuse. Our CW is helping us tremendously. This is a good post.
    Carly
    (Former UN: iloveshanej)

    Birdie born 05/01/2007
    Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          


    Potato Launcher


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