Visitors for the baby!

ShePersisted · March 2014

So, LO will be 4 weeks this week. We have a slew of friends who have been wanting to come meet LO since birth but we sort of told everyone to hold off until we were ready. Now that it's been a few weeks I'm getting regular messages asking when people could drop in to see the baby.

Anyways, I just need to calm my mind and think i am not crazy on wanting to keeping him holed away from everyone. I'm a little freaked out about the flu or colds especially if the visitors have kids. There is no way I'm going to know if people have had flu shots and feel awkward about asking as not all are very close to us and even if they did they could still be carrying germs. DH and my mom think I'm being over cautious and that people visit new borns all the time in the first few weeks NBD. Of course I am going to ask people to wash hands etc before touching the baby but curious- when did you start letting friends come visit your LO? What precautions have you taken for visitors especially the kids that came along?

I just feel so conscious that I'm going to come across like a bitch to people who are just there to share our joy. Plus before I was a parent or knew anything about being one, I always went to see other new borns of these same friends and no one asked me to wash my hands or ask if I had the flu shot. I want to feel comfortable about LO and at the same time not let people feel like they are walking on egg shells while visiting us. Any advice?

PS: His pedi suggested 2 months before socialization. Is that what your pedi said as well?

Nikkijo1022 · March 2014

I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting a while! Our LO was in the NICU for a week and by the time we got home everyone was wanting to come over. I really stretched out the visitors and limited them to very close friends and family and also only 1 group every few days. I didn't ask about flu shots but most of the visitors are teacher friends so I'm assuming most of them got one. If people were sick they didn't come (I had a few cancel and come a week later due to sickness) and most said they wanted to wash their hands when they got here - or I mentioned it to them.

Our doc didn't limit when people could come etc... But I felt overwhelmed with a lot of people especially with breastfeeding. I'm still limiting visitors. Last weekend my dad and his wife were here and my friend and her DH and their 2 kids (under 2) wanted to stop, I had to nicely turn them away as 6 adults and 3 littles would have been too much for me. I simply said "sorry we have a few other visitors today would a day this week or next weekend work?"
If people are offended or think you are being overly cautious to that I say screw em

it's your child and your life. If my baby was born in August I probably wouldn't have worried so much but there is just so much going around that can be an emergency situation if our LO's catch it.

***one thing that really really pisses me off was that my friend brought her 9 month old over when we first got home. He was hacking and coughing the whole time and had really red cheeks. I asked if he was sick and she said "oh just a cough!" I was so so mad. Who would bring their sick kid over ?! I held LO close and went into his room to "breastfeed" often. Turns out it was RSV he picked up from day care! Maybe limit the little ones that stop ? But this is hard to control when your not aware in the first place!

littlepig2 · March 2014

@nikkijo1022 I would TP that friend so hard

ShePersisted · March 2014

Rach521 said:
@nikkijo1022 I would TP that friend so hard

Agree! That would have brought out my claws! How inconsiderate that too since she is a mother herself.

djtippietoes · March 2014

We've had a bunch of visitors and have taken LO out. Our pedi just said to keep him away from kids (though other babies were okay).

MissDemeanor · March 2014

We've had visitors since day 1. I found it very overwhelming at first and would often retreat to 'feed' baby. AKA cal my parents and cry. I don't mind the visitors now, but wish they would only stay a short amount of time. My mom bought Superman hand soap for me, which makes it easier to ask kids to wash their hands.

I don't blame you for wanting to hold off visitors. I would too. But then I remember that I always wanted to see their LOs too

queeniecrayon · March 2014

We've had visitors since day 1. But she is my second kid too. I've also taken her out quite a bit, but Dd1 needs to do things too. Just go with your gut. Maybe have 1 or 2 ppl stop by and see how it goes then go from there?

MamaHollywood27 · March 2014

Rach521 said:
@nikkijo1022 I would TP that friend so hard

Ohhhh hell no! This is my MIL! Brought over my niece who was coughing, sneezing and visibly ill saying she was "teething" a week later SIL and I were texting, I find out she had a double ear infection and a respiratory infection! Teething my ass! Your friend should hang w my MIL lol

ShePersisted · March 2014

bribbon said:
I don't blame you either! We always buy several industrial-sized jugs of hand sanitizer and enforce their use. We also keep our eyes peeled for anyone who doesn't look well or is using lots of tissues, coughing, etc. and ask them not to touch the baby.

Most people understand that you can't take the risk. You'll get people who say, "It's just a cough" or "allergies" but they should respond to it not being worth the risk to a newborn. A child that age who spikes any fever over 100.4F goes to the ER, and they may even do a spinal tap. Explain that to people and they may be more respectful. For that matter, explain it to YH and MIL

I like this approach @bribbon. I think that's what I'm going to elude to if it comes to anyone looking even mildly sick.

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