Should I say something

mweav1025 · March 2014

A friend of my(who lives in a different town) just posted a picture of her baby, he is just under a month old, laying on his tummy in his crib with a blanket on. The caption read, "____ enjoying his new room". I can see a second blanket in the crib as well. Unsure if they just posed him in there for a picture, or if that's how they let him sleep.

She is a FTM and is of a different culture so I don't want to step on toes, but I always want to make sure she understands the potential dangers of letting him sleep on his stomach with a blanket up to his chin. I wouldn't call her out on the picture, I would more then likely send her a PM.

Should I try and say something knowing that she is a FTM or let it slide and hope it was just for pictures sake? I know they struggled to have this baby and like any baby I wouldn't want anything bad to happen.

caseyp10 · March 2014

PM nicely. Not really sure what to say, but definitely say something. It would be so sad if something happened.

jennlin · March 2014

You say "of different culture". Is she Chinese or Asian? We use blankets because we're afraid the babies will get cold energy (sick).

mweav1025 · March 2014

jennlin said:

You say "of different culture". Is she Chinese or Asian? We use blankets because we're afraid the babies will get cold energy (sick).

She is from Argentina. So I am not sure the culture down there and how they view things when it comes to babies.

jennlin · March 2014

mweav1025 said:

jennlin said:

You say "of different culture". Is she Chinese or Asian? We use blankets because we're afraid the babies will get cold energy (sick).

She is from Argentina. So I am not sure the culture down there and how they view things when it comes to babies.

Okay, not my specialty then! I'd PM her and talk calmly about it.

emmylou78 · March 2014

Maybe you could try something like suggesting a swaddle blanket or sleepsack and say you really like it and it keeps the blanket away from his/her face r/t SIDS. That way, it wouldn't sound so intrusive or condescending.

Lee81 · March 2014

Somebody had a very diplomatic suggestion in a similar thread to send (privately) a link to an article explaining safe sleep and say something about how you were surprised that there was so much to know about safe sleep. Trying to frame it as something you just learned too might help it come across as you intended instead of as know-it-all-y.

mweav1025 · March 2014

Thank you for the encouragement to speak up. I started a conversation with her and brought it up casually and she actually thanked me for saying something because she said he had forgotten what they said about that at the hospital. She also applauded me for not calling her out directly on the picture and has started asking me for some more advice knowing I am a STM.

So all of you who wonder about speaking up to someone when you see something that doesn't sit right with you, if you approach it in a non judgmental manner and just look out for the best interest of all involved it will work out.

MittenJennie · March 2014

We took a picture in our "show nursery" when we got home from the hospital. Baby was on a blanket in the crib with bumpers (she has not slept there one day in her life and was there for approximately two minutes when we snapped the picture.) I got like 18 hundred pm from friends warning me about it all. It was funny and super nice. I kindly explained that the bumpers & blanket were a gift and were merely decoration since she wasn't sleeping in there yet. I was not hurt or offended by the messages. I thought it was nice.