Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

Another vent...where is my amazing?

Maxsmommy123112Maxsmommy123112 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Living child mentioned****

Today is the 1 month mark of our 2nd miscarriage.

I woke up feeling hopeful I would try my best to have a good day. I got in the shower. DH was watching our son. I heard the door open, DS came in to look for me, slipped on water and hit his mouth. I panicked because he kept bleeding, although the crying stopped almost instantly after I picked him up. We rushed to the ER to see if he needed stitches.

So here I was sitting in the same ER on the same day a month after my miscarriage. They told us DS would be fine and it would heal on it's own. I am so glad he's okay and he's definitely not in pain. He's a happy boy today!

I just can't shake the irony. I am having such a hard time with everything and I really couldn't handle today. Of all the days...I just wanted to try to make myself feel better.

Currently I am not on speaking terms with my parents because they called me "crazy and weak". My best friend isn't speaking to me. I think because she thinks I "need time" although I'm not quite sure what's going on there. She just doesn't know how to handle this I think. I just feel so alone and like the world is against me.

I just wish something amazing would happen already.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Another vent...where is my amazing?

  • gabbagalgabbagal member
    I'm so sorry, this really breaks my heart. You have been such an amazing source of support for so many others on this board that you're so due for some amazing. I signed up for a weekly mindfulness-based stress reduction class at work before my m/c and the class actually started my first day back at work after the m/c (best and worst timing). Anyway, today we were doing Mettas where we're supposed to repeat to ourselves phrases like "may I be safe", "may I be peaceful", "may I be healthy", and "may I live with ease.", then we were instructed to think of someone else to wish those things for and I hope it doesn't weird you out, but I chose you. I read your post right before going to the class so it was fresh on my mind. I really do wish all of those things for you, and a whole heap of overdue amazing!
    Me: 41, DH: 42, married 2009
    BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
    BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • WinterseaWintersea member
    Just wanted to offer hugs.
    Me: 33, PCOS, Type2 MH: 35, Type2
    BFP#1 1/8/14 due 9/16/14- mmc 2/16- d&c 2/20/14
    Benched till 6/18/14


    Report Reply
  • eveiej76eveiej76 member
    Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts, and hope that things will become a little easier as the weeks go on. 

    I understand about your friend, she is very similar to a friend of mine. They don't really get Exactly how we are feeling, and for some reason, tend to say nothing at all. I've been crying one minute and fine the next, she'd probably say something like, "Oh you need to talk with somebody professionally", but I'm quite happy in my own thoughts and speaking on here, as this has been such a comfort these past weeks.

    As for "crazy and weak", you have been through the most traumatic time, with physical and emotional stress at it's highest, I'm sure they are just worrying for you and I hope you'll be back on speaking terms soon. As we know life is short, we need to keep the ones we love close and know that deep down, your parents want the best for you right now, and moving forward too....

    Please don't feel alone, the world is one crazy place, after going through what we've been through, this can only make us stronger! 

    Take care, xo


    Report Reply
  • JCM285JCM285 member
    I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and although this did not exact happen to me, I can understand the feeling of being alone.  I actually feel alone even though everyone who knows what happened constantly asks me if I'm ok.  I am glad that DS is ok, though!!!  Hoping your day has gotten better since the ER visit!
    Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

    BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

    BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

    Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

    John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


    image





    Report Reply
  • kittymeowbarkkittymeowbark member
    I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like such a bad day.

    I truly understand the alone feeling and it sucks.  I am also not speaking with my "bestfriend". She feels that I needed time, but 3 weeks later and still nothing. Hopefully you begin having better days soon.

    I am sure something AMAZING will happen. That is what I keep hoping for and what keeps me going. Let us know when it does. I know I will be looking forward to hearing about it.
    Yelena + Rubere Married: 05/13/2011
    TTC since 2012
    BFP#1~  EDD: 06/21/2014  ~  TFMR --Holoprosencephaly 
    Said goodbye on 2/10/2014 at 21 weeks. We miss our baby girl "J"
    My Chart image
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
    imageimage
    imageimageimage      
    Report Reply
  • Maxsmommy123112Maxsmommy123112 member
    Thank you all for your kind words. I am so grateful for this board and the outlet it gives me. I am so desperate for understanding from family and friends but somehow this board (and all of you) help lesson the sting of people in my life who are absent during the hardest time in my life.

    Just knowing you are all thinking about me and care means so much even though I don't personally know you.

    @gabbagal, your post brought me a moment of peace. I truly believe in the power of sending positive energy, thoughts or prayers to others. Thank you so much. I appreciate your thoughts more than you know.

    Again, thank you all. Our luck is looking up a bit. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to work VERY part time as to not stress out my body (bc of prior miscarriage) and we have been struggling financially because of it. It just adds to my guilt. DH has an interview with an amazing company next week (he's wanted the job for quite some time) and it's looking good! It's the 3rd step in the process. Please keep your fingers crossed for him. It will take one worry off my mind.
    Report Reply
  • Lottie&PaulLottie&Paul member
    I'm sorry you don't have a good "real life" support system. I have two friends who have been wonderful to me, and I think part of it is because one dealt with infertility for years before finally adopting, and the other had three m/c of her own before she got her sticky baby. I was single when they were going through their challenges, and I sometimes wonder if I was as supportive as I could have been. I tried to be sympathetic, and I was so sad that they were sad, but I really didn't understand what they were going through. But I have to say, I would never say (much less think!!) that they were crazy and weak! That is just terrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with your parents saying that.

    Fingers crossed for your H's interview.
    image
    Report Reply
  • erin215665erin215665 member
    Definitely not crazy or weak.  And this is really my best source of support too bc I don't worry about anyone on here not "getting it" or being sick of hearing it. So sorry you went through this. Glad your DS is fine!  Hugs.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"