what is an bridesmaid with IF to do?!

Saintelizabeth · February 2014

I’m in a bit of a light hearted pickle and I want to know what you ladies would do if you were in a similar situation.

My youngest sister is getting married at the end of September and last night we went shopping for her dress. She picked one (first time looking!) and decided to have an impromptu bridesmaids dress outing. Long story short she picked the dress she wants us to wear and everyone in the bridal party ordered their dress… except me. I’m going to be doing my first IVF cycle this April. If everything goes well my RE is estimating ER and ET will be mid-April. Should I order the dress in the size I currently am or go for a bigger size? I don’t want to jinx myself and just assume my first IVF cycle will work, but I also don’t want to be stuck with a dress that’s too small should I miraculously get pregnant. If the April IVF cycle did work (thanks to IF I’m a pessimist and doubt it will work on the first try) I would be roughly 23-25 wks along. The sales lady said I they can alter a dress down 2 sizes max. I also thought about waiting until the last minute to order the dress, but was told there is no guarantee it will not be discontinued by then.

What would you do in this situation?

PrincessPix · February 2014

Does your sister know about your IF struggles and IVF plans? Myself, I'd probably just make lame excuses until the last possible deadline. I'm more passive aggressive during situations like... Lol.

ltlavac · February 2014

Funny you asked this question, my younger sister is getting married at the end of August. I am her MOH. A few months back she picked out the BM dresses and everyone ordered but I kept lolly gagging to get mine since we're trying to get pregnant, and frankly the though of not being pregnant by the time her wedding rolled around seemed inconceivable to me. Now that we've gone through some IF treatments that have not worked, and due to the fact that last month we got a call the dress color/style was getting discontinued I bit the bullet and ordered my size. I too felt like I could possibly "jinx" myself; or would be very depressed having to alter a dress that I ordered in hopes of being pregnant but am not. I still am very much hoping that I get pregnant with my first IVF but just in case, I have my original size dress, hoping that I'll just have to wear something else and I'll have a baby on the way! Good luck in whatever you decide

LooneyLife · February 2014

I'm at the point where I just deal with things as they come. It's much less stressful that way.

I personally would order my current size. If I got pregnant, I'd deal with it then. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter what you wear, so if it ends up not fitting, I'd hope your sister would be understanding and allow you to pick a dress off the rack that does fit.

tptbabe · February 2014

I'd order your current size. Think of it this way: If you're unfortunately not pregnant, then it will fit. If your IVF works, then you won't be paying for IF treatments and you'll have a little extra cash to get a new dress, or have one made

I had a BM that ended up having to have one made and it looked great! (You couldn't tell the difference) It ended up costing less than the original dress too!

penad5 · February 2014

I'm in the same boat - i'm in my brothers wedding on October and if IVF works i'll be ready to pop at the wedding.

I told my future sis in law what was going on and she picked a dress that could be easily altered to fit the baby belly. Not sure about the boobs tho. sounds like that option is too late for you but if you explain the situation to the sales clerk maybe they can make a suggestion

We told store clerk and she let me put a deposit down on the dress and said i could come back in a couple months for a final fitting after i knew if it worked

ttc23 · February 2014

I've been a bridesmaid twice since starting iVF. Both times I purchased a larger size and both times have had the dress altered to fit me when I didn't get pregnant. It's depressing but at least I wasn't stressed about not being able to get the right dress if I did fall pregnant. Good luck

happygirl1013 · February 2014

I had this same issue last year. Buy one bigger than your size and you can always get it tailored. Good luck!

ronniesgirl1981 · February 2014

My sister was going through IVF in the months before my wedding. She ordered her dress in a 12 when she needed an 8 figuring that she'd be pregnant by then. She was not pregnant and still needed the 12. :-(

I feel like I'd go up at least one size....

runforcookies · March 2014

I am in my BIL wedding in June and had my first IVF worked I would have been almost 6 mo.

I found out the absolute latest I could order the dress and did it 2 sizes bigger than I would have. Unfortunately it didn't work but if this second IVF works I will still be glad I ordered it bigger.

The dress she picked was chiffon and very flowy so that works well for my situation. If this one doesn't work I will feel pretty depressed when I see that huge dress... but its just one more sh*tty thing to add to the why IF sucks so much.

shelbeans82 · March 2014

I was in that situation last year, anticipating being pregnant for my best friends wedding last August. I was able to order fabric in the same dye lot as the other dresses and then actually order my size 2 months before the actual wedding. I would try and order the dress as late as possible - I feel like when stores tell you dresses will be discontinued they just want to make the sale.
Maybe you can order the dress directly from the company and not a bridal vendor? Or call the company and see what they say? They might be more willing to work with you.
Good luck!

LeggyJeggy · March 2014

That was me last year during my first IVF. I would do what you're comfortable with. I ordered a size up because it was a $400 nonreturnable dress. My BFN was the Monday prior to the wedding and I had gained a little weight so my dress didn't need to be altered too much. Maybe wait as long as possible to order?

cymber217 · March 2014

Def in your current size. Its a win win. Either it fits you and you dont need another one. Or you are soo lucky to have it NOT fit bc you are pregnant!!!!

what is an bridesmaid with IF to do?!

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