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divorced. dated. pregnant. single again?

AdrionsMomAdrionsMom member
in Single Parents
I was a teen mom. Married under pressure. Was actually married for 6 years. Have 3 beautiful kids together. 6yr boy, 4 yr girl, 19 month boy. We divorced when our youngest was 3 months old. Pretty much since then ive been exclusively dating another man (not the reason of my divorce just fyi) but he informed me my ex's insistent sexual harassment via text/call is putting him through way too much stress. He's never wanted kids himself. But we had intended on moving out separately at the end of our lease. I already have a house lined up. Moving in 2 weeks. But now we're pregnant. He's made it clear he doesn't want kids. I keep hoping he'll hear that heartbeat and change his mind. But in reality I think im on my own. Again. I love my kids. Theyre everything to me. Im middle class. I dont have an excess of extra money. But im just lost on doing this alone with 3 other children... supporting advice maybe? Similar situations?
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Re: divorced. dated. pregnant. single again?

  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Well, for starters, what kind of job do you currently have and are any of your kids in daycare?  What about insurance for them, do they have health insurance?
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  • tig594tig594 member
    You CAN get an order of protection for excessive calls. That's called stalking.  Just one threat makes it that much easier.  Might help your child support/custody case, too.  Apply for state/federal aid, including WiC.  Do that ASAP.  

    As for the new BD you can really only take it one day at a time.  Don't expect too much from him by the sounds of things.  If he changes his mind, great!  But he might do that several times in the next several months.  Try to put some space in between the two of you mentally so it doesn't affect you too much.  Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. You don't need someone else's indecisiveness yo-yoing you all over the place.  
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  • AdrionsMomAdrionsMom member
    edited March 2014
    Thanks for the replies girls. I currently work in a factory. Ive been there since my divorce. I mean im not making great money. 14.43/hr it pays my bills but lets face it, thats about it after food and gas. My youngest 2 are currently in daycare. My oldest gets on/off the school bus w his cousin. But still daycares expensive for me. About 200$ a week. I dont qualify for food stamps bc apparently I make too much but all 3 of my kids have medical cards. I pay like 3$ a visit for each of them.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Do you have subsidized child care? What state do you live in? I applied to WIC but I was also told I made too much for it, I don't make much more than you and I only have 1 baby
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  • AdrionsMomAdrionsMom member
    No. I used to get state assistance with my daycare but it was cut off back in December bc I make too much. It really helped me get on my feet after my divorce ill admit. When I lost that help it took me weeks to get my financial situation under control again. Daycare is simply outrageous. My kids are on the wellcare plan through the state. Im still a little new with all the help through the state there is really. Ive never used it until after my divorce.
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  • AdrionsMomAdrionsMom member
    I live in ky
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    That's weird, I'm in IL and I get assistance with daycare with 1 kid, she's on allkids insurance but I also make just enough to not be eligible for WIC, but my hourly pay is not too much more than yours. Is there a number you could call for more info on subsidized child care and WIC? I don't see how you wouldn't be eligible with 3 kids & 1 on the way.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    First things first. Your new bd isnt going to change his mind. Are you recieving child support from your ex?

    Have you filed for an order of protection? These things will help you.

    If you both knew he didnt want kids were you not using protection? Or did your protection failed. Welcome to the board
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  • AdrionsMomAdrionsMom member
    I have a type of seizure rarely even have them now but my meds apparently messed with my birth control. We definitely were not trying. I have got a civil order on him. But child support is odd. Hes an electrician so when hes working a job making 20 something an hr he pays me 97.15 a week! I fond this rate low. I know ppl who get much much more for only 2 kids. While we have 3.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    AdrionsMom said:

    I have a type of seizure rarely even have them now but my meds apparently messed with my birth control. We definitely were not trying. I have got a civil order on him. But child support is odd. Hes an electrician so when hes working a job making 20 something an hr he pays me 97.15 a week! I fond this rate low. I know ppl who get much much more for only 2 kids. While we have 3.

    First things first, condoms yo.

    Second. Im assuming that the amount of child support you recieve was established by the courts. They have a calculator that detirmines how much you recieve.
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  • tig594tig594 member
    By medical cards do you mean medicaid?  I think if they are on medicaid you automatically qualify for WIC.  At least that is what I was led to believe.  I probably make more than Roxalot and you and somehow DD qualified for medicaid as secondary insurance (DD and I are covered through my work) and she qualified for WIC.  Medicaid was retroactive to 3 months before she was born.  When I applied, though, I had just started my short term disability so my income was at 60% of what I normally make.  That is the pay stub they asked for so that is what I gave them.  But I told them that wasn't what I usually make.  Also, you might reapply.  I think they go by what you make a year and if it's March your pay stub shows a lower rate.  WIC has nothing to do with medicaid, food stamps, etc but I think the WIC office can look to see if you have other aid.  Definitely look into it again.  Also, make those BDs pay for their kids!
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  • YTLCNURSEYTLCNURSE member
    Definitely look into getting some assistance especially with 3 kids and 1 on the way.
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  • AdrionsMomAdrionsMom member
    Thank you all. And ill definitely re look into the wic program and probably food stamps. Well ill double check any sort of assistance. :-)
    Also beccaga16, I completely agree with you. Im going to focus on my kids and myself. Our needs as a family. Bc I want to work as our family and if someone comes along and is man enough to stay then well praise god but if not, ive got exactly what I need.
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  • WatchmansMoonWatchmansMoon member

    I'm so sorry to hear about what you're facing now. Being a single mother is so much work, but great kids all over the world are coming out of single parent homes, so hang on to hope that it can be done, and done well. If you're wanting support throughout your pregnancy, you should check on a website at https://bit.ly/Jceqcx - there are probably centers near you. There's also an article titled "Taking Care of Yourself" at https://bit.ly/1cyTLsN for single parents. I wish you the very best. HUGS and blessings.

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