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May 2013 Moms
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MIL Monday has to start now!

emmy236emmy236 member
edited March 2014 in May 2013 Moms
So I said my FFFC was how I did a crappy job cleaning for MIL and SIL' visit here and was preparing for their usual backhanded remarks. Trust me, I got a few but I'm so used to their nonsense I don't even let it bug me anymore. Now you start saying things to my son and the gloves come off. My MIL made it very clear she only cares about SIL's baby who was born in Sept. Everything was about that baby. She I think held R, who she hasn't seen in 10 weeks and just had surgery, maybe twice all weekend. She made comments how he didn't have cute fat rolls like the other baby, he looked "yellow" next to other baby's "beautiful" coloring etc. But the real "icing" was that she demanded that other baby must also have a smush cake at R's first birthday party too. Really? His first birthday party and he can't even have his own smush cake for fear of disappointing a 9 month old? I am hulk smash angry!
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Re: MIL Monday has to start now!

  • ordinary1ordinary1 member
    I sorry that R is being compared and your MIL is nuts. Also, no way would I make a smash cake for the 9 month old.
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  • aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member

    That is so foolish. I have never seen a grandmother want to play favorites like that. How asinine. I would get the 9 month old a smoosh cake and smoosh it in MIL's face. just saying.

     

    My MIL bugs me every week to see DS. ( I remind her we live in the same area what if we lived more then half hour away. which I would love too.) So I bring DS over just to stop the bitching. H complains that I hover so I went and walked around the mall a bit visited a few friends had lunch and then grocery shopping. needless to say I wasted about six hours of my day. I get there and they were telling me about how much fun they had and then said Sorry I didn't feed him any of his gerber he didn't seem to want it at lunch and didn't seem hungry for dinner. What? are you kidding me. I gave her instruction to give water in sippy cup I brought feed gerber I brought, and some solids I brought. NOTHING WAS TOUCHED. why do I bother.

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  • CNJ4EVACNJ4EVA member
    @emmy236
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  • LolalipsyLolalipsy member
    SpankingShank said:

    What a cunt. Fuck her.

    Couldn't have said it better.

    Emmy your son has all the love he needs from you and your H so to pot with your MIL. It's her loss.



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  • emmy236emmy236 member
    No he's frustrating. He's beyond mad and when he's mad he shuts down and will give his mom the silent treatment. Only problem, his mom has always been so involved with his sister and now her baby to even notice. Once DH stopped playing baseball and all their hopes and dreams of living off him were dashed they've really hit some new all time lows.
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  • aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member
    emmy236 said:
    No he's frustrating. He's beyond mad and when he's mad he shuts down and will give his mom the silent treatment. Only problem, his mom has always been so involved with his sister and now her baby to even notice. Once DH stopped playing baseball and all their hopes and dreams of living off him were dashed they've really hit some new all time lows.
    Wow, that's such a horrible way for them to be. I am so sorry. I think it is time for a family meeting/intervention. It is great that your MIL loves your SIL's baby but she has two grandchildren and she needs to love your LO the same. Good Luck.

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  • JoJo716JoJo716 member
    Ugh that is awful! I'm with other posters- I think it is time for a break for a little while.
     

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  • emmy236emmy236 member
    edited March 2014
    @JoJo716. I think that's what's going to happen. He said he's going to talk to her tonight and I can't see that going well. I'm hoping it will be an eye opening conversation because she's acting just like her mother who equally as awful.

    ex. at my baby shower Grams in law expected to have my family celebrate her birthday with a cake and MIL announced SIL was pregnant and eloped with the baby daddy. Seriously this is what I deal with.

    But she gets upset when you tell her she's acting like her mother. So there is a 3% chance that MIL will
    feel bad and apologize. My money is on her crying, blaming us for the entire thing and they boycott R's birthday.


    Edit: because I was mean and didn't like it.
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  • aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member
    edited March 2014
    emmy236 said:
    @JoJo716. I think that's what's going to happen. He said he's going to talk to her tonight and I can't see that going well. I'm hoping it will be an eye opening conversation because she's acting just like her mother who equally as awful. ex. at my baby shower Grams in law expected to have my family celebrate her birthday with a cake and MIL announced SIL was pregnant and eloped with the baby daddy. Seriously this is what I deal with. But she gets upset when you tell her she's acting like her mother. So there is a 3% chance that MIL will feel bad and apologize. My money is on her crying, blaming us for the entire thing and they boycott R's birthday. Edit: because I was mean and didn't like it.

    emmy236 I have a question for you what did your MIL and SIL do at your wedding because I bet that's a story too.   I feel so bad for you. It is so hard having someone that is that pig headed. Unfortunately the older people are (I.E. your MIL and GMIL) the less like they are to see reason or change their ways since they have lived that way for so long. Your MIL is so backwards she is in love with the prodigal daughter and she is purposely trying to ruin key moments in your life. First your baby shower and then R's birthday.

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  • emmy236emmy236 member
    Planning was tough but it turned out wonderfully. I have said here before that my MIL had actually been great recently. Yes, she's had some moments but my own mother has too. I just wish she'd get it together because I come from a big, loud, crazy family and I want my children to have that too. DH's side is so small I'd hate to lose any of it.
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  • LolalipsyLolalipsy member
    All of the nonsensical stuff comes from my own mother now. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm on my SIL's side.

    My nephew was at my mum's yesterday and the amount of chocolate and Krispy kremes my mum let him have were nobody's business. Eventually My brother (not the Daddy but his Uncle) and I stepped in told her it was ridiculous. To top it off she left her caffeine drink on the dining room table and he drank some of it. If he were mine I would've run my mum with sparks up her arse for being so careless. He needs a granny not another friend.




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  • smg2302smg2302 member
    I'm sorry you are experiencing this.  Maybe when your niece has her birthday party you can make some crazy demands as payback.  R needs a smash cake and a crown.

    JK.  I wouldn't do that.  I would however make a point to mention that whatever issues the adults are experiencing shouldn't be taken out on the kids.

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  • emmy236emmy236 member
    edited March 2014
    Exactly. Growing up my grandparents really favored my two boy cousins. They likes their dad better and made it obvious. As a kid I really didn't know that my $25 birthday check was a sliver of what my boy cousins got. But my mother would make a big deal about it. I was just happy with $25 and then I was sad on my birthday thinking my grandparents didn't love me. I desperately don't want that for my child. I either want DH to address this situation now and get it resolved before R can comprehend it or I want to shield him from it. Like if his grandparents get other baby 1000 birthday presents and him 1, we may have to avoid his family party and just bring R to his cousin's friend one or something like that.
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  • D&S724D&S724 member
    Sorry you have to deal with that! Now I feel funny complaining that my MIL bought my kids their Easter outfits without asking me first...
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  • MAdams728MAdams728 member
    emmy236 said:

    Exactly. Growing up my grandparents really favored my two boy cousins. They likes their dad better and made it obvious. As a kid I really didn't know that my $25 birthday check was a sliver of what my boy cousins got. But my mother would make a big deal about it. I was just happy with $25 and then I was sad on my birthday thinking my grandparents didn't love me. I desperately don't want that for my child. I either want DH to address this situation now and get it resolved before R can comprehend it or I want to shield him from it. Like if his grandparents get other baby 1000 birthday presents and him 1, we may have to avoid his family party and just bring R to his cousin's friend one or something like that.

    I grew up like this, too. One set of grandparents has always favored my aunt and her kids, and has never cared how blatant it was. My poor dad has lived with it his whole life, too. When I was a kid, all it did was make me resent my cousins because I never understood. Now it just makes me sad. One of my cousins has a daughter 5 months younger than L, and if the grandparents pull this shit with them I will cut them out of our lives without a second thought. I can deal with it, I always have, but I wont let L feel like she's in second place.

    Now I know why my mom has always been so sad about their family functions.


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  • watuzzigalwatuzzigal member
    Just catching up...

    I'm sorry, @Emmy236 ! No way to another cake there for the cousin. She'll have her own three months later!

    Did your H talk to his mom?
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  • emmy236emmy236 member
    He tried but MIL was too busy with other baby to really listen. He did get out how he felt that she only cares about OB. She wasn't so much apologetic as surprised we noticed, at least that's the vibe he got. R had his 9 month appointment yesterday and I bragged how great he's doing and she was just put off. He's 96th % in height and MIL just said "oh he doesn't look that big compared to OB" Then today I got a list of stuff OB has suddenly leaned to do since Sunday. Im surprised doing their taxes and solving the problem in the Ukraine wasn't on the list. Here's a pic of R and OB playing. Maybe it's rose colored mommy glasses but to me R looks quite a bit bigger (not like it matters, they are babies not going out for the NFL combines.) image
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  • watuzzigalwatuzzigal member
    lol @ the combines.

    I'm sorry she's being riduculous.
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