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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Solstice7118
member
Question for Parents with Climbers/Adventurers
Solstice7118
member
My daughter developed physically really quickly. She's always been 90% for height, and started walking at 9 months. Now at 15.5 months she is more dexterous than her older cousins (2 years plus). This results in her often getting herself into trouble - getting stuck climbing under chairs and behind furniture. On the one hand we don't want to stifle her development, so we let her roam. But on the other hand, she gets upset not only when she gets stuck, but also when we get her out of the mess - it's almost like, even though she was upset being stuck, her goal was to get to that place and now she's mad at us for moving her. She also LOVES to climb, so we have to push all of our chairs out into the middle of the room so that she can only get onto them but not continue to climb onto other things, like tables or desks. This keeps her off the tables, but she's now just tall enough to try and grab stuff off of tables without using a chair (things like lamps, and computer equipment (keyboards/mice)). Needless to say, we're really frustrated and not sure what to do. To compound the problem, we live in a really tiny apartment, so it's not like we can move furniture out of the area - there's no where to put it. We also had to move her to a toddler bed at 1 year because she started to climb out of her crib. This is a whole other frustration, but more manageable.
I guess what I'm looking for is any advice on how to handle her. We can't really limit her area of influence (she spends most of her day in the "main" room, which is a combo living room/computer room), aside from our 2 doorways into the kitchen and into the bedrooms. We did get super tall gates with vertical bars to keep her from climbing over them so that's a pretty safe area (so far...). I'm also not 100% sure if the problem is her physical abilities, or just that she's an adventurous little girl. And in either case, how do we teach her that climbing in an unsafe way and/or grabbing things that she shouldn't are bad, but checking out her environment is fine? She does understand when we tell her that something is "not for her" - in which case she'll usually still touch it (with her fingertips - which is adorable, I have to admit), but will quickly leave it alone. We always cheer her and remind her that she's done a good job when she leaves things she's not supposed to have alone. But if she's determined to have it then she just does it anyway and/or cries. We do try to put her into time-out, but I really don't think she understands the connection between her actions and the time-out.
Sorry this got so long, I just don't know what to do. I guess this is every parents dilemma - how do I make sure I support and encourage my child while also providing the framework for good behavior. Any help would be very much appreciated!
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Re: Question for Parents with Climbers/Adventurers
She's been able to grab items from the table and the lamps for a while, she's just starting to not be as into that.
Your daughter sounds exactly like my son. Very early walker and advanced with all things physical. He climbs everything in sight, flips stuff over, tries to pull stuff down, had to be moved to toddler bed early because he climbed out of his crib and took a stroll around the house. The worst part is they are too young to really be reasoned with which makes things even more difficult. The sofa was our biggest danger area because it's a sectional right up against a window. He'd go running head first down the sofa and smack the glass with his hands. Scared me and we could not keep him off of it. We were going insane so we had to move it.
It doesn't sound like that's an option for you so redirection really is key. Keep plenty of stuff to hand that you can quickly swoop in with when she grabs for your computers, etc. We've even just let our son play (supervised) with the off limits object (for us a laptop). He went to town and within a few minutes got bored and moved on. Sometimes it's the allure of something being off limits that really draws them in. I can't say that's always the case though.
I wish I had more advice but all I can say is I totally understand what you are going through and it will get better.
I would have her at the playground every single day for as long as she will tolerate to give her a place to explore that is designed for children who....well... like to climb and explore!
Seriously, channel her enthusiasm by putting her in environments that foster her growth. Then you can teach her that "playground is for climbing. Home is for playing on the floor"
I put DD in time outs for not listing to me. For the most part DD has lots of freedom to roam but there are certain times when she MUST listen and/or behave. And those are consistent: stay away from stove, put clothes in hamper (that is her big chore), no hitting....
But really if I ask her to d something like come to the sink to wash her hands and she runs away from me that is unacceptable. I warn her of a time out and usually that is enough to get her to saunter over. It isnt' about washing her hands as much as it is reinforcing that when mom asks you to do something, you do it.
But things like our laptops...that is on us to keep out of her reach. I wouldn't put her in time out if she toppled my laptop because it should have been far out of her reach.
Maybe one of those gated play yards will give you a sense of peace for 20 minutes a couple times per day. Just give her some toys to occupy her time.
It can be folded up when not in use.
Is there a toddler gym near you that you can splurge on during the winter months?
I still put dd in her play yard while I'm showering occasionally.