Being a MoM is overwhelming

JGior1031 · February 2014

Anyone else feel completely overwhelmed? My B/G twins are 5 1/2 months old. I tried for 2 years to get pregnant and finally had to have IVF to have my babies. They are the most amazing babies and the absolute loves of my life! But holy overwhelming anxiety! Being a MoM is really hard. I love when people say "nap or relax when they nap"! Really???? Bc that the only time I have to do everything else! I am going back to work on March 17th after 6 months of being home with the babies. I feel terrible for saying this but I'm excited to go back to work and have some time to myself. My husband works overnights and is gone from 10p-9a and then sleeps until 4p. Most of the time I'm alone with the babies and life consists of bottles, diapers and playing. The only way I know how to describe being a twin mom is it is the most wonderfully horrific thing I have ever done in my life. My friends who have singletons don't get it. What do you do to help fill your day or make you feel better?

Ylvelill · February 2014

Hehe great now I am terrified! I am planning to stay home the first 3 years

but my profession is preschool so I figure it can't be much worse.

Shel79 · February 2014

I went back to work at about 5 1/2 months, and as much as I missed them, it was kind of a relief to get some normalcy back in my life! My girls also got a whole lot easier right around 6 months old - they suddenly started sleeping a lot better, and we just found a good routine with our lives. They are 11 months now, and things are so much easier than they used to be. Hang in there - those first 6 months were SO hard!!!

kgs0505 · February 2014

Shel79 said:

I went back to work at about 5 1/2 months, and as much as I missed them, it was kind of a relief to get some normalcy back in my life! My girls also got a whole lot easier right around 6 months old - they suddenly started sleeping a lot better, and we just found a good routine with our lives. They are 11 months now, and things are so much easier than they used to be. Hang in there - those first 6 months were SO hard!!!

@Shel79 We must have had our babies pretty close to each other.

OP - I ditto everything Shel said. The key was sleeping thru the night for us. A full nights sleep makes everything better I went back when they were 8 weeks. It was hard so soon, but work does make the day feel more productive.

mamatotwins0812 · February 2014

Agree with everything @singformysavior said. Mine are 1.5 now and things def are still tough, but better tough if that makes sense. The first year, specifically the first 6 months were really, really tough. I honestly feel like the first 4 months are an absolute blur for me. It does get better though. I was in a similar situation where dh wasn't home often and we didn't have family or help around so I flew solo too which makes it that much harder.
For me getting out every day is what helped (we lived in a tropical climate at the time so that was doable, I know winter makes that tough). Some days I'd go to target, others just walk the grocery store aisles, or outside for a walk and fresh air. But I was diligent about doing something outside the walls of our home and that honestly is how I survived. I would suggest just doing something, even if you're in your pajamas, just get out.....it'll break up the day and make you feel better. And fwiw, I totally agree....I always felt very agitated when people told me to sleep when they did. With 2 I felt that was next to impossible. Even if it wasnt laundry or housework, I was pumping or filling bottles, the "rest" just never happened. Hang in there....it does start to feel more normal, you're almost there!

Brummy14 · February 2014

Agreed. While most moms are in tears heading back to work after Mat Leave, I was running for the door. I ADORE my girls, and also had to go through 18 months of fertility treatments, so I get that, too. That doesn't mean you can't say it's hard, and vent, and have times when you're over it.

I napped during the day approximately zero times since they've been born. It's just not possible.

Now, at just over a year adjusted, we're starting to see glimpses of "better." The girls entertain themselves (although, one of them now is basically trying to kill herself at any given moment, so that adds a layer of complexity), and are happier most of their waking hours. That said, I still get exactly nothing done if I'm on my own with the girls. I just need to make sure I have that expectation.

What has also helped me is having DH take the girls for a chunk of time both days on the weekend so I can get a workout in -- sometimes that makes all the difference in my mental state. He gets "his" time at night after the girls go to bed -- when I crash (since I'm still up in the MOTN to pump, and up at 5:30 AM to pump again and get all of that taken care of before the girls wake up). While we're still working through the kinks of that plan, and it is ever fluid --- we've found the more we can divide and conquer to give the other the freedom to use some time however the other sees fit makes a world of difference.

Hang in there! I found going back to work was a major breath of fresh air. I was (and am) a better mom because of it.

nblondheim · February 2014

My b/g twins are almost 2 months old (with a GA of almost 40 weeks) so we are in the very early stages yet! I've just left my job as a 4K teacher to be a SAHM. We also went through infertility issues so I understand that! It is the most amazing time and I'm sooo in love with them but it is crazy and busy! If the pp say the first 6 months are the roughest, you're almost there!!!! Hang in there!

sarack · March 2014

My twins are a week shy of 6mo. I feel the same way.. although I went back to work really early. I love my b/g twins so much, but it is really exhausting and time consuming. they RARELY nap together, although i did get them down 2x yesterday at the same time, woohoo, but otherwise- one needs one thing, and the other wants another. i have a lot of fun and laugh a lot when i am overwhelmed. luckily, i feel like my babies give me an easy time, sometimes.

being a mom is hard but it's so worth it.

Wishing35 · March 2014

My husband has the same schedule, it's tougher now that I'm back to work because I work until 12 and take care of them all day before I go in. On his days off he wakes up with them and it's so nice to sleep in! I would definitely ask your DH to help you out in that respect. Another thing that helps is I've lowered my standards as far as housework goes. I have my must do's - wash bottles, clean baby clothes and everything else is a bonus! Some days I have energy and get a lot done when they nap, others I don't even try and relax or nap with them. I'm no longer trying to be superwoman!

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