September 2013 Moms

Question for those with 2 or more LOs

DH and I always said we wanted kids close together. DD is almost 6 months old and I would love to have a second child within the next 12-16 months. But, I feel so guilty working and not giving DD all of the attention that I want to give her, so having a second child at this point just seems like it would be so mean to DD. Does this feeling ever go away, or is it just like the saying that you are never really prepared for a child (I guess if it's the first of fifth)?
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Re: Question for those with 2 or more LOs

  • thats hard thing for me.  BUT like the other PP said I enjoy having them close in age (17 months).  Its tough right now because I feel like I see them for an hour in the morning and an our at night due to my work schedule but we really make the most of the time and our weekends.  Also agree with the other PP...I will be glad to be done with the baby phase quickly and get all the baby gear out of the house! :)
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  • My first was 2.5 when DD was born and I would not do that again or any closer. He was still very much my baby and wanted to be carried, etc when I had a newborn to care for. It was very hard on our family and I constantly felt bad for him.
    He is a huge mama's boy so maybe it wouldn't be the same with all kids though.

    We want a third but I will wait until DD turns 3 and then decide if we should TTC.
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
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  • Our kids are 2 years and 3 months apart. I wanted them closer but it didn't work out that way. DS was already used to babies because I babysat an infant last year and he adored her. With DD he was not interested until she was about 4 months or so. Now he adores her and wants to "babysit" her all the time. He has no interest in holding her but he sings to her, pushes her swing and makes her laugh. The best part is he's old enough to understand when I ask him to be patient if he wants something and I'm busy with DD. He can play on his own and loves to help by picking out her clothes, getting her toys, etc.


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  • I love, love, love our 18 month age gap. (18 months between J. and A. and 18 months between A. and S.)

    In all honesty, part of me would love to do that for our last LO. But for many reasons, we will have a longer gap if we ever go for LO4. 

    Ditto the pp who said it's nice to get the baby stage out of the way and be able to get rid of things. I'd be doing that now, except we are still on the fence about LO4. 
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  • yes agree with others....it is very difficult for us right now with LO being 5.5 months and DS 22 months....they are both babies and are very needy.  They have very easy dispositions but I find it very challenging right now but I am told after the first year it gets a lot easier.
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  • RedDDD said:

    yes agree with others....it is very difficult for us right now with LO being 5.5 months and DS 22 months....they are both babies and are very needy.  They have very easy dispositions but I find it very challenging right now but I am told after the first year it gets a lot easier.

    I have also heard that after a year it will be much better. I am looking forward to them being close as they get older and both being in a similar stage at the same time. For example, doing Disney when they are 3 and 5.
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
  • Thanks for your thoughts everyone. It seems like there are mixed feelings on this. A lot of this is making me want to wait. I'm not sure if I'll be ready in a few months to prepare for not giving DD so much attention.
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  • My two are 16 months apart, so I got pregnant when DD was 8 months. I had mixed feeling about it at first, and honestly, it's still hard to manage having basically two babies at different developmental stages. However, I wouldn't change a thing. DD was too young to really have jealously about time/attention spent with DS. We are glad that they will always be close enough to enjoy the same type of family activities together and an added bonus is that we'll be able to get all of our "baby gear" out of the house sooner rather than later :) Good luck to you, in whatever you decide.

     

  • One more thing to consider that I didn't anticipate before getting pregnant for a second time. My milk supply dropped considerably after my first trimester. It was very important for me to breastfeed me DD until she was at least one, but by the time she was 10.5 months, I has basically dried up due to the pregnancy hormones. Fortunately, I was able to use my freezer supply to get her to almost 1 year, but it was an obstacle that I didn't anticipate. It was also hard emotionally to stop BFing before I felt ready to in addition to the pregnancy hormones. I know some women can successfully BF throughout their entire pregnancy, but that wasn't the case for me :(

     

  • One more thing to consider that I didn't anticipate before getting pregnant for a second time. My milk supply dropped considerably after my first trimester. It was very important for me to breastfeed me DD until she was at least one, but by the time she was 10.5 months, I has basically dried up due to the pregnancy hormones. Fortunately, I was able to use my freezer supply to get her to almost 1 year, but it was an obstacle that I didn't anticipate. It was also hard emotionally to stop BFing before I felt ready to in addition to the pregnancy hormones. I know some women can successfully BF throughout their entire pregnancy, but that wasn't the case for me :(

     

    I really want to love this because you tried so hard!  But I didn't love it because you had a rough time.  Does that make sense? @kaelarose13
    Makes perfect sense, thanks :) No regrets though...I gave her my best for as long as I could which makes me feel good!
  • When I first opened this up, I thought the question was going to be "How do you do it!?" Seeing as how my hands are so full with just the one.
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  • My girls are a little less than 18 months apart. Honestly, I really love this age difference. There are things that are hard, but mostly I'm really happy with it. We wanted an 18 month-3 year gap and we got 18 months and I can't imagine it any other way.
    Lots of love to my BFPB, Squishy622 <3

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