Looking for 2nd time mom opinions on this mainly.. ones with personal experience would be awesome Be kind im a FTM and oblivious! (I did my google searches too!)
Long story short without getting too depressing, its hard to talk much about this. My BIL, DHs older brother was given a month or two life expediency. He has been suffering from Melanoma cancer for the past three or so years and the treatments have made him weak and now terminally ill. DH is extremely close with his brother, and even owns his older brothers second Kidney! We love the guy, he is a wonderful man and a good husband and father to his wife and kids. Unfortunately due to the circumstances we may need to go up to his state at any given notice. Which means a 15+hour car ride or 2 hour plane ride. Ive read that 36 weeks is the latest airlines will let a pregnant lady fly and that OBs have said 32-36weeks.. but I wanted to hear some personal experience on the matter. Or if some airlines allow you to fly later? IF its even safe to do so...
IF worse comes to worse.. Should I fly out there after week 35? Have any of you flown a few hours after 35 weeks? I dont want to drive after the end of March (30 weeks next week) because most of the drive is in middle of no where country roads (Idaho/Eastern WA). Id be scared to go into labor and baby be breech (which she was last appointment)so ya driving is out of the question for me...I feel like I would be very selfish to not go, but of course I need to do whats best for baby also. Im not highrisk or on bedrest but I do have the tendency to cramp up and get a bad hip and lower back after a few hours of no movement. Just looking for some support on the matter.. appreciate any advice, feel free to tell me "Oh hell no sista ! no traveling that late!" My gut feeling says dont do it but could I be over thinking it?
Thanks for reading. Im sorry if this has been answered before.. I just cant sleep >.<
Several airlines will let you fly up to 38 or even 39 weeks as long as your doctor is ok with it. However, if you are traveling to a rural area, I'd want to make sure the proper medical care is available to you and baby while you are there in case anything happens during your visit.
Several airlines will let you fly up to 38 or even 39 weeks as long as your doctor is ok with it. However, if you are traveling to a rural area, I'd want to make sure the proper medical care is available to you and baby while you are there in case anything happens during your visit.
Thanks! I have a feeling my doctor would give me the a-ok if I asked. I do have an appointment on the 10th and I go for my 3 hour glucose in the morning. The town they live in is pretty close to a good hospital (the one my BIL goes to) so thats good. Most the rural areas id travel through would be if I drove. We do fly into Seattle when we go there, and then an hour drive through very busy towns to where they live.
If I end up going ill give the airlines a call or read their policies before I buy a ticket I guess.
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable doing it. If you do go into labor and have to have the baby out of town, you're insurance might not cover it at all or will likely cover only a small portion. You could have complications. What if the baby needs to be in the hospital longer than you do or ends up in the NICU? There are too many what ifs in the situation for me to feel okay about it, although I completely understand your urge to go.
I'm really sorry about your BIL.
Yeah, those things scare me too a little bit. I think I might just not go at all after 38weeks.. but even so babies can be born before that and its all a reality. I feel like id be letting my family down by not going and showing my love and support. I know I can support them from the sidelines if need be.. I worry for my DH and I want to be there for him too for emotional support.. You know? I told my DH already that if when the time comes that I just dont feel comfortable that I wont go.. he said he would deal with his family if they said anything but Ive got sucha bad guilty conscience all the time. I gotta remind myself that its okay to put my health and babies first.
It can be done, but there's some research to do first. Step one is to talk to your doctor about it and get approval. Most airlines will require a doctors note at that point, and I'll warn you that sometimes the crew of the individual flight will exercise their discretion at the gate (which could also happen to you on your way home). Step 2 is to call your insurance company and make sure you'd be covered in case anything happened while you're out of town. Step 3 is to do your research on area hospitals where you'd be going, and figure out where you'd be best off delivering. For my current trip, I researched the hospital closest to me, and also researched those with a level 3C NICU and ECMO machine because of my history of PTL. Ask your OB for a copy of your pregnancy medical records and take those with you just in case. The hospitals here told me those would make everything 1000% easier for them if I had any issues. Step 4 would be to find an OB practice who delivers to the hospital you want and call to see if they would take you on as a contingency patient should any non emergency issues arise while you're on your trip, though at that stage you'd probably just go to the hospital anyway.
Good luck; I hope everything goes as well as it can for your family, and I'm sure they'd understand if you can't make it.
I just flew last week for work..... granted I was only 28 weeks. I did want to add that my doc stressed to make sure and hydrate a few days before and during whole trip because flying can dehydrate you and cause you to contract.
I understand your reasons for going and would probably feel same way. Good luck to you.
I don't really have much advice besides what other PPs have already said. But wanted to ask... would it be feasible for you to go see him before anything should happen? That way (god forbid) he should pass when you are uncomfortable and don't want to fly, at least you can say you got to say goodbye to him. It may take some of the guilt away you may feel later and his family will see that you made an effort to do something. I completely understand your reasoning behind wanting to go then and I would want to do the same and be a support for DH. Either way, I wish the best for you and your family. I'm so sorry you all have to go through such a hard time at what should be one of the happiest moments of your life. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys in this time.
**Lighting a candle in memory of our angel babies and angel mama in heaven from May'14**
We do wish we could go visit him since the last time we saw him was in September but unfortunately my DH just started a new job this week. with his training at his job they can't let him take off the next two weeks. We also don't have the option to pay for it tickets ourselfs just yet. His dad will be paying the tickets when everyone needs to be there but ya...
I personally would be totally comfortable with flying around 35 weeks (Just get a copy of medical records and be aware of the nearest hospital when you get where you are going)…especially a 2 hour domestic flight and given your circumstance…just flew international a few weeks ago and probably would NOT do that past 35 weeks.
On a different note...I can relate to your situation and it is just awful…my husbands sister who is 42 with two young kids only has a few weeks to go…maybe a whole lot less. Battling colon cancer that spread to her liver and chemo is no longer working so her liver is full of tumors that continue to grow every day…last night was a close call already…just awful for the whole family to watch someone slowly go …I wish you well with your situation!
I think checking with insurance is one of the best things to do first. Medical bills add up quick, especially when L&D is concerned. You could end up with a c/s and have a 4-day stay at the hospital.
Also have to consider flying home with a newborn. I think that would make me more nervous than flying pregnant or giving birth out of state.
Really sorry to hear about your situation, though. I can only imagine. T&P and best of luck with your decision.
Im so sorry to hear about your husbands sister, its a hard thing to come to terms with and im experiencing this all for the first time. Never have I had someone so close to me on their dying bed. Prayers are the best medicine for me ive found.
Thanks again for the advice ladies. I will get in contact with our insurance. DHs insurance changed this week.. we now use bluecross/bluesheild i think its called. I will check it out!
The nice thing about BCBS is that their network is HUGE. You shouldn't have a problem finding a covered provider anywhere in the country, but definitely call to double check.
I would also worry about going into labor while in flight. If that happened I imagine they would land the plane wherever is closest and it may be a rural town and not somewhere with an excellent hospital. I flew a few weeks ago. It was a2 hour flight and I was still rather uncomfortable for the last half of the flight. I understand wanting to go and be there but talking with your dr is a must. My dr last time did not want me more than a couple of hours away once I hit 37 weeks with DS. No complications but he just wanted me to stick close.
Congrats to my GP Sister from another mister Bruinsbabe!!
My friend missed her own father's own funeral when she was about 34-35 weeks pregnant. She was high risk and had a previous late loss. I wouldn't side eye anyone choosing to keep their baby's health and pregnancy as the priority or think of them as selfish. They were able to use iPads to FaceTime with her so that she could see the funeral. I'm sorry that your family is dealing with this!
Can you guys go now? Like this week or next? And then hopefully he'll hang on long enough that you could go again after the baby is born. But if he dies when you are 38 weeks pregnant and can't travel, at least you saw him one more time. That's what I would do if at all possible. My condolences, very sad.
I'm pg with my first so I don't have any experience to share with you. I did drive 9 hours last week and made sure to stop about every 2 hours to stretch my legs.
I'm so sorry about your BIL, he sounds like such a good person and an important part of your lives. I hope he is comfortable right now and that your family finds peace in helping him through the time he has with you all. He's in my T&P!
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
All the good advice has been given, but just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you are dealing with this right now. I doubt that anyone will be upset if you can't be there though. Praying that he will be able to make it until after the baby is born.
Re: Traveling by plane..?
Nora - 10.26.12
Henry - 5.9.14
If I end up going ill give the airlines a call or read their policies before I buy a ticket I guess.
Good luck; I hope everything goes as well as it can for your family, and I'm sure they'd understand if you can't make it.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
I just flew last week for work..... granted I was only 28 weeks. I did want to add that my doc stressed to make sure and hydrate a few days before and during whole trip because flying can dehydrate you and cause you to contract.
I understand your reasons for going and would probably feel same way. Good luck to you.
Also have to consider flying home with a newborn. I think that would make me more nervous than flying pregnant or giving birth out of state.
Really sorry to hear about your situation, though. I can only imagine. T&P and best of luck with your decision.
Thanks again for the advice ladies. I will get in contact with our insurance. DHs insurance changed this week.. we now use bluecross/bluesheild i think its called. I will check it out!
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.