Is this a bad idea? Anticipating the hurdles

SomersIsles · February 2014

I'm well aware that breastfeeding can be challenging and as a FTM I really have no idea what to expect. I am, however, VERY determined to be successful and I'm frequently reminding myself to expect challenges, expect it to not be easy, and try my hardest to work through them.

That being said, am I setting myself up for insane stress by avoiding certain "preps"?

For example... I do not plan on buying formula as a just in case backup. I haven't cleaned any bottles because I'd like to focus on getting a good latch and avoid nipple confusion. I don't even have a pump yet (not actually by choice... Insurance hasn't sent it yet...) but this will allow me to establish my supply strictly on how the baby feeds. Etc etc.

I figure, worst case scenario, DH can run to the 24 hr walmart and get formula while I clean a bottle if shit really hits the fan....

Is this a bad idea??

StephandMatt2012 · February 2014

I don't see a problem with that, sounds similar to what I did to be honest except I didn't want to buy formula for just in case I just signed up for some free samples to have just in case shit hit the fan still haven't used them !

opheliainwaders · February 2014

Only thing I will add is...please be flexible, and gentle with yourself! I am still BFing at 8 months, but my DD was born early and had severe jaundice and weight gain issues, so we had to supplement her with formula when she was about 4 days old, for about 2 weeks. I had a hard time reconciling myself to that because I also had wanted to avoid formula entirely. I also am now in the hospital myself, and DD has had to have formula the past few days due to meds I have to take. Not my preference, and hoping to resolve everything soon, but I have had to reconcile that with my firm desire to keep BFing.

Anyway, long story short, I think your plan is fine! But if nature throws you a curve ball an you have to pump early on or supplement, just know that it doesn't need to spell the end of a really positive BFing relationship if you have the right support.

ncbelle · February 2014

I think it's a great plan! There's no need to have formula in the house - just makes it easier to give when you are having a tough night. And like you said, should the need really arise, it's not like you can't get it at anytime.

I don't think you need a pump for the first few weeks - unless baby can't latch (which you'd know right away and could then get a pump), pumping in the early weeks is a bad idea and gets in the way of establishing a good nursing relationship.

Valancyy · February 2014

Sounds like a plan to me. I never had any formula in the house for my 2nd. I did have some bottles (left from DS#1, but I had bought some new nipples). We planned on my H feeding some expressed milk once in a while, but we ended up hardly using them.

Like others have said, running out to get some formula or bottles if you really need them is no big deal.

BootsOrHearts · February 2014

There's no need for formula, like you said, worst case someone can run out to the store.

Most people who decide to BF really don't have many issues, but if you struggle, you might need to consult a LC. Don't hesitate to do that if you need to. And post any issues/questions you have here! There are some very experienced and knowledgeable moms as well as some LCs who frequent the board.

That being said, if for some reason you are not able to BF or have to supplement or pump for a while, do NOT beat yourself up. It's like a birth plan - you can plan and prepare for things to go a certain way but sometimes it just doesn't work out and you can't dwell on it too much, you have to be flexible and remember what's most important. I made this mistake and it caused a lot of heartache.

ktpaladino · February 2014

I think positive thinking goes a long way, and if you imagine yourself being successful, you will be! I had the same attitude with my first and despite many many hurdles and problems in the beginning, we breastfed successfully for 15.5 months! I did end up having to give formula and bottles for a few days only for weight gain purposes while we were having our initial issues. Just realize that those things can sometimes help get you through your hurdles in order to CONTINUE your breastfeeding relationship, instead of ruining your breastfeeding experience. Also, just to be a voice of reason, I would have DIED without my pump in the first week after my milk came in, with both babies. I had oversupply and clogged duct issues so I tried to use it sparingly as not to make the problem worse, but I did absolutely need it to relieve the awful pain I was in- hand expressing would just not have cut it. I also needed it with my second when she injured my nipple from a bad latch in side lying position one night when I dozed off while she was feeding. I had a big scab on my nip and couldn't nurse on that side for about 4 days, so I had to pump. So long story short, I'd be prepared to have to buy or rent a pump, and realize that formula/artificial nipples won't always negatively affect your chances of EBFing. You have a great attitude and I wish you all the best in your BFing journey!

jessib10 · February 2014

StephandMatt2012 said:
I don't see a problem with that, sounds similar to what I did to be honest except I didn't want to buy formula for just in case I just signed up for some free samples to have just in case shit hit the fan still haven't used them !

I got free samples too. They were a life saver. My LO was born at 36w and she didn't show interest in eating in several hours of being born. I couldn't get her to latch either. Not only did I end up using a nipple shield but I had to supplement with formula too. A little over a week later and we're home and she EBF now. But the first day and a half until my milk really came in and she started rooting really well we had continued to supplement. I'm really glad I had signed up for the free samples.

mexicolombiana · February 2014

Sounds good to me. I never considered formula (thankfully I didn't have to) and I never had formula in my house.

greeneyed_bride · February 2014

It's really a personal decision. For some women, having formula in the house feels like it could present too much of a "temptation" to give up, so they prefer not to have it. For other women (like me,) formula just seemed a little bit comforting, like an "if all else fails, my baby can still eat" kind of thing.

I was totally,100% committed to breastfeeding. We had issues in the beginning because my son had a major tongue-tie, and a LOT of people were telling me to just give formula because my son was eating every 30 minutes for an hour at a time. I was completely determined not to give it to him unless it was absolutely medically necessary, and I never did. Even my OB said "I'm not sure I could have been as committed as you were." But even though I never used it, having formula in the house was vaguely comforting. In retrospect, I think I may have had some mild, undiagnosed postpartum anxiety, because any time I left the house without my son for even five minutes (which hardly ever happened,) I would show my husband where the formula and bottles were just in case I got in a car wreck. Seriously.

I agree with PP that we never had to buy formula. We got samples in the mail, from our pediatrician, and at the hospital. So I just kept those until my anxiety lessened a little (and until DS was eating some solid foods so I knew that he wouldn't starve before DH could get to a store if something happened) and then I donated them all to a charity near us that accepts infant formula donations. It's totally your call. You know yourself better than anyone else, so only you know if having formula would be a temptation or a reassurance.

Best of luck breastfeeding!! The beginning is rough, but know that it gets better!!! I breastfed my son for 16 and a half months (he wouldn't even ever take a bottle of expressed milk,) and I'm so glad I did. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with our second child, and I plan to nurse this one just as long (or longer.)

eves1989 · February 2014

It isn't bad at all. I think it's a good plan for a smart mom. I had that exact idea too when I was pregnant. I was positive I can BF though it was my first pregnancy. And guess what? I did! I am inverted on the left side but it didn't stop me from doing BF.

vulpini · February 2014

I had a can of sample formula from my OB's office sitting in the back of the pantry, my pump still in the box insurance sent, and a pack of bottles from our registry that hadn't been opened and sterilized yet. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed until he was 1 year old, as long as I had the milk supply for it.

Then kiddo came 5 weeks early and we had to do special preemie formula via SNS for 3 days until my milk came in, then limited/timed BF followed by a bottle of expressed milk fortified with preemie formula, and pumping pumping pumping round the clock with the hospital pump until I ended up with clogged ducts on day 7 or 8.

Plan for what you would like to do, but let yourself be a little flexible and don't beat yourself up if things don't go 100% as planned.

YellowLily2013 · February 2014

It's fine. We didn't buy any formula either. We were given samples at the hospital. And ds was jaundice and my milk hadnt came in at 5 days so we had to supplement while it was coming in. The we used forumla / pumped milk for 1.5 days... And all of that was from the doctors samples.

We even had leftover and had to give it away.

Salemkitty13 · February 2014

I EBF and DS is 6 months old. I went back to work when he was 4 months old and I'm able to pump enough for him each day. However, when he was born he had trouble "transitioning" and I couldn't feed him over eight hours. He had trouble latching and we got a shield. We got to go home on schedule but he got jaundice and I was told to supplement nursing with formula ( I used sample formula) and some bottles I had gotten from my sister. After 4 days on bili lights we ended up in our local children's hospital. He was losing weight and had poor suction. We got out after a week I was told to nurse, bottle feed then pump every two hours. I did this around the clock until he was six weeks old. I saw the LC nurse weekly until I went back to work. I was very glad I had some formula and bottles to get started. I ended getting more but if I had not had any I would have felt panicked. I agree with pp it's good to have a positive outlook but be kind to yourself and know that things happen. I will say that I feel pure determination is the reason we are still EBF. Good Luck to you!

HopingforChange · March 2014

gulickr said:
Only thing I will add is...please be flexible, and gentle with yourself! I am still BFing at 8 months, but my DD was born early and had severe jaundice and weight gain issues, so we had to supplement her with formula when she was about 4 days old, for about 2 weeks. I had a hard time reconciling myself to that because I also had wanted to avoid formula entirely. I also am now in the hospital myself, and DD has had to have formula the past few days due to meds I have to take. Not my preference, and hoping to resolve everything soon, but I have had to reconcile that with my firm desire to keep BFing.

Anyway, long story short, I think your plan is fine! But if nature throws you a curve ball an you have to pump early on or supplement, just know that it doesn't need to spell the end of a really positive BFing relationship if you have the right support.

This! I'm lurking here. My LO is 11 wks old and I mostly BF but I do supplement with formula. Anyway, I ended up I the ER at 1am when she was 4 wks old. I was hospitalized for 4 days so she had to have formula exclusively. Once I got home I worked my supply back up, but it was nice having enough formula on hand to cover an emergency.

emikat · March 2014

I supplemented with formula maybe 2 or 3 times in the very beginning. I still have some in the house. My pediatrician gave them to me and I got a lot of samples at a baby expo. I haven't had to use them since that very beginning time, but it was nice to know it was there in an emergency. I wouldn't worry about being so dedicated that you aren't flexible for things that may come up unexpectedly.

Katieblue552 · March 2014

@gulickr

gulickr said:
Only thing I will add is...please be flexible, and gentle with yourself! I am still BFing at 8 months, but my DD was born early and had severe jaundice and weight gain issues, so we had to supplement her with formula when she was about 4 days old, for about 2 weeks. I had a hard time reconciling myself to that because I also had wanted to avoid formula entirely. I also am now in the hospital myself, and DD has had to have formula the past few days due to meds I have to take. Not my preference, and hoping to resolve everything soon, but I have had to reconcile that with my firm desire to keep BFing.

Anyway, long story short, I think your plan is fine! But if nature throws you a curve ball an you have to pump early on or supplement, just know that it doesn't need to spell the end of a really positive BFing relationship if you have the right support.

Did your LO have trouble with nipple confusion or wanting the faster flow of a bottle when you supplemented for 2 weeks? I'm in a similar situation now, my LO is a week old and I had mastitis when my milk came in and her weight dropped. I had to switch to pumping and the occasional night time formula supplement. Now when I try to breast feed she is super fussy and you can tell she just wants that easy fast flow of the bottle.

Staciefacie · March 2014

I say your plan is great. I would also tell people that you plan to breastfeed and don't let anyone give your baby formula along with a pacifier.

You just need to be confident in yourself and your baby. It's a learning experience for both of you. Educating yourself is the best thing you could do. If you have a local breastfeeding community I'd pay a visit and ask questions. While you're at the hospital don't be afraid to talk to the LC she's there for you guys.

I called my LC into my room everyday. Finally she just told me, you don't need me anymore.

opheliainwaders · March 2014

Katieblue552 said:

@gulickr
Only thing I will add is...please be flexible, and gentle with yourself! I am still BFing at 8 months, but my DD was born early and had severe jaundice and weight gain issues, so we had to supplement her with formula when she was about 4 days old, for about 2 weeks. I had a hard time reconciling myself to that because I also had wanted to avoid formula entirely. I also am now in the hospital myself, and DD has had to have formula the past few days due to meds I have to take. Not my preference, and hoping to resolve everything soon, but I have had to reconcile that with my firm desire to keep BFing. Anyway, long story short, I think your plan is fine! But if nature throws you a curve ball an you have to pump early on or supplement, just know that it doesn't need to spell the end of a really positive BFing relationship if you have the right support.
Did your LO have trouble with nipple confusion or wanting the faster flow of a bottle when you supplemented for 2 weeks? I'm in a similar situation now, my LO is a week old and I had mastitis when my milk came in and her weight dropped. I had to switch to pumping and the occasional night time formula supplement. Now when I try to breast feed she is super fussy and you can tell she just wants that easy fast flow of the bottle.

I didn't have this issue, but we also had a situation where we had to teach her to suck effectively (had to feed her with an eyedropper at first), so used bottles, then a nipple shield, and finally weaned off that as her mouth/jaw became strong enough to nurse effectively. I second AmyG's suggestion of seeing an IBCLC as soon as you can. Apologies for the delay, I've been sick and out of the loop the past week. Hope things are going better for you now!

girlmama83 · March 2014

I think you are way overthinking this

My 6 month old is EBF, has never had a drop of formula. There is formula sitting in the cabinet that I received as free samples. I didn't need to hide it or take it out of the house to prevent myself from using it. I never used it because I didn't have to. Yes there were some tough times in the beginning where I thought I can't do this just give her formula - but I didn't because I knew that was just my frustration talking and I knew what is best for her.

SomersIsles · March 2014

Thank you for all your input! Not to unearth an old post... but I posted this and then, who knows why, it got lost in the chaos of my life and I never had a chance to read the replies. So thank you for all the advice! I still have an inside baby but I feel more prepared as I continue with my research... and if shit hits the fan... expect a few more questions on this board from moi. haha.

Thanks again!!

BlueEyedDreamer · March 2014

I'm a little late to the party, but I thought I'd put in my two cents.

I think your plan sounds great except for the part about not getting a pump. Formula, bottles, etc. you can get if you need - easily and quickly. Usually, if you need these things, then you will either be in the hospital (and it wlll be provided for you) or your pedi will tell you that you need to supplement and probably provide you with samples.

But depending on where you live or how you plan on getting your pump, it may be smart to get it ahead of time in order to be ready for potential pitfalls. When my mink "came in," I ended up with an unbelievably low supply (i.e. ~5mL per feeding). If I hadn't gotten my pump ahead of time, then I wouldn't have been able to tackle my supply issues as quickly.

Again, as PPs have mentioned, we hear a lot about the "problems" even though they are the exception rather than the rule. But it still may be a good idea to get your pump lined up ahead of time, just in case, since it may be harder to get than bottles and formula. Good luck!!

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