3rd Trimester Struggles

OurNewEngland · February 2014

So, I'm a FTM. While I'm trying not to be too sensational when it comes to the ailments and inconveniences that accompany 3rd trimester pregnancy, I'm also finding myself struggling emotionally and physically with "what's normal."

Ever since I hit 28 weeks, I've had nothing but horrible pain. Sharp, dagger-like pains whenever I move during sleep and steady, throbbing pain all day, every day in my abdomen, back, hips, etc. I know that discomfort is normal, but I'm having a really hard time with work and keeping up with my daily tasks as the week goes on. Thankfully I have the option to work from home when I need to, but I don't want to be seen as abusing the privilege or thought of as unreliable. My work gets done, but I still feel like I'm putting out those who depend on me at work. I'm really not sure how long they'll put up with me in this state. It doesn't help that a woman in our office previously had a very easy pregnancy and worked onsite up until her due date.

To add inconvenience to the matter, I've been battling a UTI that just won't go away and have increased my bi-weekly OB appointments to weekly or more for tests, antibiotics, etc. Not to mention, this infection is making the pain and discomfort almost unbearable.

So while I know I'm in a lot of pain, I'm wondering if I'm just a sensitive, wussy, FTM? Is everyone going through this level of discomfort? I can barely move when I get home at night. There are so many women who love being pregnant and are still so active, but I have to say that (aside from the obvious joys and happiness related to the experience) I have no desire to do this again. The frustrations these past few weeks have not only made me look forward to labor greatly because of the eventual relief it brings, but I'm also relieved my husband and I both subscribe to the "one and done" approach to family planning. :-/

I guess I'm just really struggling with this. I feel like I should be sucking it up and not letting the pain get to me, instead of acting like a bump on a log who can't breathe without whining about it. Is this all really normal? It's tough to know without anything else remotely close to compare it to.

Thanks for listening/reading. Feels better to vent.

spacepotatoes · February 2014

I'm not at that level of discomfort (yet) but I have been getting increasingly more uncomfortable, sleep deprived, and cranky since about 25 weeks (27w2d now). It almost feels like a regression to 1st tri, but without the morning sickness and with extra belly.

Work is getting more challenging, especially when I am left lessons to teach so I have to be up on my feet and try to get through a class without gasping for breath the whole time.

I kind of feel like a wuss too, but my body feels the way it feels and I can't push it further than it's willing to go. Don't be too hard on yourself about it. It's an uncomfortable time and it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. Do as much as you can and screw the rest. Your own health and your baby's health are the most important things.

OurNewEngland · March 2014

Yeah, that's the mindset I have to wrap my head around. In the past I've always put work first, so this is a new concept I'll need to get used to quickly. I just have to make it 7 more weeks before maternity leave starts, but I'm not sure that I physically can.

ThereBeDragons · March 2014

I would honestly be a mess if I weren't already on bed rest. I have no stamina and energetic for me is making a mad dash to the bathroom to pee when baby punches my bladder.

But this entire pregnancy has been hard on me physically. Some women just don't glow and skip merrily all the way through. It's nice if you have an easy pregnancy but when the hand you're dealt contains exhaustion or morning sickness or even general aches and pains for 30 weeks straight- that sucks and you just have to deal with it as best as you can.

Hopefully you can manage a little while longer. Try Tylenol and targeted heating pads (not the belly, but anywhere else should be fine for short periods) if you haven't already.

cchild101010 · March 2014

I am feeling sore and uncomfortable a lot. I feel my body wanting to slow down which is so hard for me because I'm so active (even my job is active). You're not alone but as another FTM, I wonder whether or not I would want to go through this again. I couldn't even sit for two straight hours in a class tonight

good luck to you. I hope this 3rd tri passes quickly for all of us who are uncomfortable.

OurNewEngland · March 2014

The lack of activity gets to me, too. I'm usually always on the go, wanting to get out and do things and now I can barely walk 10 steps without taking a breather from the pain. I couldn't imagine being on bed rest more than I have! I really feel for those who've been there since the early days.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm heading out to L&D today to hopefully get this UTI taken care of once and for all. I'm sure great relief will come from getting rid of its share of aches!

Just gotta keep in mind we're in the final countdown.

Divine0chaos · March 2014

First of all sorry you have a UTI they flipping suck!! I have an extensive history of them and standin prescription -.- thankfully I haven't had one in a LONG LONG LONG time. I can suggest and this is what has worked for me, changing your body wash to a very gentle one such as baby soap or dove sensitive skin(what I use) I found out that the fragrance in a lot of soaps left me with a uti. Secondly, totally feel your pain on third tri with my firt I was exactly like you I was even on a muscle relaxer at this point. Luckily with this lil one it has been way easier which is weird because its suppose to get harder. While pregnant with my first son we wanted another, but after the first year we were also thinking one and done. I even went as far as to get rid of ALLLLL the baby stuff. However, fastforward another 3 years we wanted another one. It's a decision that's very hard to make and you may go back and fourth for years. Take your time and do what you think is right for your family. Don't give in to pressure of people saying you'll have a brat of a child etc. the only child stereotype isn't accurate.

Bootsie327 · March 2014

I totally get it. I'm a first time mom too, and feeling very uncomfortable these days (sleeping, working...most things are challenging). I love being pregnant of course, but some days are really hard. I'm really sorry about the UTI...those are a bitch!

Anyway, I think we all just need to know our limits, and I think starting a healthy countdown to maternity leave is not a crime at all! 8 more weeks here but who's counting??

OurNewEngland · March 2014

So it's not a UTI! It's preterm labor. I had to get hooked up to an IV and a shot of terbutaline. Hopefully it calms things down for awhile. Still curious what to do with this bad back/pelvic pain. I would LOVE a muscle relaxer. I haven't been able to wear any support belts because the pressure aggravates my irritable uterus. I have a hunch I'll be put on bed rest again.

manna1212 · March 2014

Glad you were able to get some answers! Hopefully that will help with some of the pain you are feeling. I have definitely become more uncomfortable in the last week or so. Sleep has become something of the past with my back and hips always hurting. Then being so tired definitely makes me more emotional! Hope you start to feel better soon!

fatbarbie0226 · March 2014

Ooo... sorry it turned out to be preterm labor! Hopefully they've got it figured out and you can keep that baby cooking a little longer! Take it easy, girl, you deserve it!

NorthernGal248 · March 2014

Well that's def a surprise! I hope u start feeling better!

Divine0chaos · March 2014

Goodness hopefully they get the labor calmed down!! Yeah I would ask your ob about one for sure!(muscle relaxer)

cchild101010 · March 2014

Yikes! That's not good

hopefully the drs can help you out. FX for some fast relief

awc1986 · March 2014

Yowza! Hope they get you sorted out!

I'm in the 3rd tri discomfort boat too. Between the sciatic pain in my left butt cheek/lower back, my giant hemmorhoid and the painful heartburn, I'm not having a great time. It's also not sexy when your DH has to help you up off the sofa.

OurNewEngland · March 2014

I ended up with two doses of Terbutaline before being sent home. Now I'm supposed to time any contractions and head back to L&D if I get more than 4 in an hour. The problem is it seems like most of the labor pains were in the form of back pain, which I've had steady for the past 4 weeks. How am I supposed to know when it's a contraction or just Braxton Hicks then? I've had a lot of those since week 21. I'm also surprised they didn't check my cervix. Maybe they'll do that at my OB appointment on Tuesday. Time to have a heart to heart with work and see how flexible they're willing to be with me working remotely. If they aren't, then it sounds like my working days are done for now.

It's been an interesting day! Thanks for all the FX. I'm hoping to keep the incubator working until at least 37 weeks.

spacepotatoes · March 2014

Wow, I'm glad everything turned out ok! FX that this isn't a recurring issue and you are able to get some relief.

Snorberg · March 2014

I am more miserable in the 3rd trimester than I was in the first. I am 31 weeks and I am exhausted, cranky, emotional, uncomfortable, sore and my morning sickness has come back. My husband and I usually go all weekend but I am having a hard time keeping up. I have a desk job and I work long hours. I don't know how I am going to keep working 50
Hours a week until I go into labor. I can hardly do it now.

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